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About Vaughn Gardner
Expertise
I can't think of any questions that I can't answer. However, I've learned over the years that I hardly hold all the answers in the world. So, if questions arise that I can't answer, first I'll check the Net to see if there are any, and then pass it on the questioner, second if I can't find any I'll refer them to someone who can.
Experience
I, myself, am a 51yr old FtM, currently pre-op, who began on my own transgender journey in 2000, so I'm familiar with what brought me to the realization that I was/am transgender and the trials and tribulations that can come along the way
Organizations
APA (American Psychological Association) Undergraduate Student Afiiliate Member
ACA (American Counseling Association) Undergraduate Student Member
I'm a co-founder of the community college PRISM club (People Respecting Individuals and Sexual Minorities); served as one of two Co_Chair positions in 2007.
Education/Credentials
I'm pursuing a degree in psychology (A.A. awarded in 2007, now pursuing my BA - 2009, MA and/or PsyD - a year or two later) and my focus will be with the gay/bisexual/lesbian/trans, particularly in the trans, areas.
Other
I've spoken on college campuses on being transgender as well as every quarter during my time at CC I spoke to the Human Sexuality class as well as the Gender and Society class when it was offered. I am a licensed ULC minister and have served as a high priestess for an online coven prior to my beginning the trans journey. I was a pentecostal for 25yrs before leaving the church and now follow an eclectic Wiccan path.
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You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Gay/Lesbian Issues > Transgender/Transsexual > is it wrong...strange?
Expert: Vaughn Gardner - 8/19/2008
Question
Hello...for the beginning, thank you for reserving some time for my question as well...my name is Cristina and i am 17 years old...i know i am young, but i also have a question that has been tourmenting me a lot...until recently i thought i was straight...then, there were a couple of months i thought i was gay/lesbian...but then...i though...the only things that turn me on are not boys or girl...but gay guys....i love when two boys/men kiss and all that....my greatest dream is to get to Harvard, Yale or any other top-university..and i know i have chances to get accepted there...but i've also been thinking if when i'll be older...if it is wrong that i am thinking about a transexual surgery to become a boy.......and be...gay...(everytime, since i was little, everytime when someone asked me whats my biggest dream i would answer "i wish i were a boy and especially a gay boy"...is that weird?...strange?)...
Thank you in advance for your answer !All the best !
Answer
Cristina,
*chuckles* Rest assured my young friend, you are not weird, strange, or even wrong for feeling the way that you do. In fact, while my most of my FtM friends are not as young as you, I do have several whose sexual orientation is gay. So please know you're not alone for feeling that you're an FtM but also are gay.
Now I've got a couple of online resources for you to check out:
http://www.nyacyouth.org/
http://www.youthresource.com/
http://www.youth-guard.org/
http://www.transfamily.org/
Also, go over to http://www.queernet.org and click on the link that says "QueerNet Groups". Then register as a new user, it will send you a pw to use. Then... this is the fun part... there is an email list you can get on called "tgts-youth". It's for trans youth where you can talk and ask questions. Then, after you turn I believe it's 18, there's a list that as a gay transman you can join. But I'm not going to give you the name of that list until you're older. :) Yeah, I know, I'm a mean ol' man. *chuckles* Actually, it's called covering my own backside since you're underage. :)
Now, one of the first things you're going to have to do though is find a trans friendly therapist - either in the city where you live or in the city of the college where you plan to attend. There is no way around this. In order to go any further in the process and journey, you gotta get a psych eval and then under go at least (I believe the Standards of Care say) 6 months worth of counseling. It's no big thing but it makes sure that you're prepared to emotionally and mentally to make the trans journey. So this is step one. If you need help finding a trans friendly therapist in your hometown or the city where you're going to college, let me know and I'll see if I can research it and find one for you or at the very least a clinic.
So rest easy Cristina. You're just coming into your own and finding out about yourself. It's cool and you're doing it a whole lot younger than I did. I admire you for that and applaud your courage and self-insight.
Know that I'm here for you, so feel free to write me any time. I'll gladly answer any questions you have and just listen if that's what you need.
Take care and be good to yourself, yes?
All my very best wishes and hopes for you,
Vaughn
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