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About Vaughn Gardner
Expertise
I can't think of any questions that I can't answer. However, I've learned over the years that I hardly hold all the answers in the world. So, if questions arise that I can't answer, first I'll check the Net to see if there are any, and then pass it on the questioner, second if I can't find any I'll refer them to someone who can.
Experience
I, myself, am a 51yr old FtM, currently pre-op, who began on my own transgender journey in 2000, so I'm familiar with what brought me to the realization that I was/am transgender and the trials and tribulations that can come along the way
Organizations
APA (American Psychological Association) Undergraduate Student Afiiliate Member
ACA (American Counseling Association) Undergraduate Student Member
I'm a co-founder of the community college PRISM club (People Respecting Individuals and Sexual Minorities); served as one of two Co_Chair positions in 2007.
Education/Credentials
I'm pursuing a degree in psychology (A.A. awarded in 2007, now pursuing my BA - 2009, MA and/or PsyD - a year or two later) and my focus will be with the gay/bisexual/lesbian/trans, particularly in the trans, areas.
Other
I've spoken on college campuses on being transgender as well as every quarter during my time at CC I spoke to the Human Sexuality class as well as the Gender and Society class when it was offered. I am a licensed ULC minister and have served as a high priestess for an online coven prior to my beginning the trans journey. I was a pentecostal for 25yrs before leaving the church and now follow an eclectic Wiccan path.
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You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Gay/Lesbian Issues > Transgender/Transsexual > Dating a MtF Transgender
Expert: Vaughn Gardner - 9/14/2008
Question
I am a lesbian female who met a (what i thought was another woman) on line. We have had several great conversations both by email and phone. We finally met today for lunch and coffee. During the 5 hours we spent together she told me that she was a pre op transgender. I guess my question is this...I really like her and dont have a problem with what i was told...I just would like to know how to proceed so that I can make sure she remains comfortable with me so that we can see where this might leed us. Any suggestions? Is there any websites for women like me to learn more?
Answer
Mary,
Truthfully, I think you're doing just fine. As long as you can talk openly and honestly with other, ask questions and get answers, you're on the road to making an excellent foundation for a friendship and perhaps more. But here are a few resources that may help you learn more about being transgender is about:
http://www.firelily.com/gender/gianna/index.html
http://www.ftminfo.net/soffa.html
I hope that helps or at least gives you a place to start from in terms of information as you take this walk with this young lady of your acquaintance.
All my best,
Vaughn
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