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About Trey McGowan
Expertise
I am able to answer questions about transexual and transgender issues of many kinds, but in particular those tilted toward the FTM (Female-To-Male) transgender. I can offer tips for dressing, passing, binding, packing, behavior, and the like for both drag and full lifestyle. I may also be able to offer some help with finding local peer groups, should you be interested in peer counseling. Sexuality issues, MTF (male-to-female), and other gender issues can also be touched on and I may be able to help.
I am not a professional (I repeat: I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL!) but I can also offer some general peer counseling suggestions and help with finding groups for all branches of gender identification and sexuality. If you are in need of finding a professional, I may be able to find a name in your area to help.
Experience
I am personally FTM transgender, living full-time and accepting of my gender identity. I have not yet been through operations (so am unable to offer personal experience on most of these). I have been part of a number of groups, though moving has kept discussions to long distance since then. I am well-studied for a great many years in this area, having begun reading up on it when I first identified and having kept up on it since then. I have no medical credentials in the area of gender counseling but have been part of multiple peer counseling groups.
Organizations
Knox Boyz (FTM peer support group)
Nashville T'men (FTM peer support group)
Education/Credentials
I have completed grade school, some high school, and my GED.
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You are here: Experts > People/Relationships > Gay/Lesbian Issues > Transgender/Transsexual > Unsure of myself.
Expert: Trey McGowan - 9/17/2008
Question
Hi,I'm 16 years old lesbian. When I was younger, I had thought of being a boy, because i didn't like girl stuff and prefer doing things boys normally do. Now, I am feeling confused because i don't know if I want to remain as a girl and identify myself as a lesbian, or go for gender change and be a guy. Either way, life is tough. I can't make a decision.
For now, I am comfortable being a female, and the thought of being a male doesn't irk me. I prefer Men fashion and clothing, but I don't dress like a man. However I am not feminine either.
May I know if I should go for a gender change?
Thanks.
Answer
Hi there, LH!
You ask me directly whether 'you should go for a gender change'. And unfortunately, all I can ask you is: should you go for a gender change? No one can make that decision for you. In the end, you are the one who needs to make that final decision, and to start looking into things.
The best thing for you to research first, however, is a therapist or psychologist who can help out with this matter. While they can't make the decision for you either, they can certainly help you find where you stand and where you feel comfortable with everything. And that may be the best thing that you can do for yourself, rather than tearing yourself up with indecision.
Just remember: gender difficulties do not necessarily fit into a nice, easy two-slots (male and female). There are a lot who just don't fit into any of those, and it is up to the therapists and, often, the people themselves to decide where it is they feel comfortable. You are not alone. And that may be one of the most important things to remember.
Questions? Comments? Feedback? Follow-ups? Feel free to send them in this direction!
Trey
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