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About Trey McGowan
Expertise
I am able to answer questions about transexual and transgender issues of many kinds, but in particular those tilted toward the FTM (Female-To-Male) transgender. I can offer tips for dressing, passing, binding, packing, behavior, and the like for both drag and full lifestyle. I may also be able to offer some help with finding local peer groups, should you be interested in peer counseling. Sexuality issues, MTF (male-to-female), and other gender issues can also be touched on and I may be able to help. I am not a professional (I repeat: I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL!) but I can also offer some general peer counseling suggestions and help with finding groups for all branches of gender identification and sexuality. If you are in need of finding a professional, I may be able to find a name in your area to help.

Experience
I am personally FTM transgender, living full-time and accepting of my gender identity. I have not yet been through operations (so am unable to offer personal experience on most of these). I have been part of a number of groups, though moving has kept discussions to long distance since then. I am well-studied for a great many years in this area, having begun reading up on it when I first identified and having kept up on it since then. I have no medical credentials in the area of gender counseling but have been part of multiple peer counseling groups.

Organizations
Knox Boyz (FTM peer support group) Nashville T'men (FTM peer support group)

Education/Credentials
I have completed grade school, some high school, and my GED.

 
   

You are here:  Experts > People/Relationships > Gay/Lesbian Issues > Transgender/Transsexual > general confusion

Transgender/Transsexual - general confusion


Expert: Trey McGowan - 9/29/2008

Question
I am 22 and have been crossdressing for around 11 years,at several times during this period I have felt as if i truly needed and wanted to become female and that transition rather than crossdressing was the answer. These feelings lasted around 6 months at a time and then would dissipate and i would be reasonably content with being male and crossdressing occasionally. At the time i put this down to growing up and that i would wait and see how i felt when i was older. Recently, around a year ago these feelings became stronger again and I have begun to seriously consider transitioning to female again. How do I know if these feelings are worth responding to or whether they will go back inside like the other times?

Answer
Hi there, Neil!

This is going to be an answer that may not be satisfying, but I can't honestly think of any other way to answer it: you will know if it will go back inside when it does... or when it doesn't.

Swinging moods such as this can be caused by a lot of different things. Stress, emotional ups and downs, hormones, and general brain chemistry. A lot of the time, the feelings do 'come and go', and the individual can be happy with dressing and passing, and later 'go back' to their birth gender. However, for others, there will one day be an 'awakening' that this is the right thing for them, and that it's time for them to consider seriously the transition from one gender to another. And without the help of an expert, the only way to be sure is, quite honestly, to wait and see how you feel about it in a day. A week. A month.

I mentioned 'a therapist' above. This is because, as you may have noticed in the rest of my answers (or at least a lot of them), I strongly advocate that transgender individuals seek out therapy for their issues. This is not to 'cure' them of the gender issues (but it can, at times, do just that if the individual has a core problem that can be worked out), but instead to bring the person to terms with their desires and their selves, and to become comfortable in finding where they are on the transgendered spectrum. It is also the therapist's job to aid the person in going through their transition, if this becomes necessary, as it so often does.

Therefore, my suggestion for you is to locate an individual in your area who works with this sort of thing and to see them, say, once a month if you are quite comfortable with yourself. Even that seldom can make a big difference in things. If it's obvious that more is needed, then you can go from there. Also, if you strongly decide you want to transition later in life, you already have a therapist that you feel comfortable with, and who can help you with that difficulty as well.

I wish you all the best in your search, and I hope that even that small amount of advice has been a help to you! If you have more, questions, comments, feedback, whatever, are able to be directed this way; I promise I don't bite!

Trey

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