Transgender/Transsexual/Understanding crossdressing

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Question
Hi,

Do you know what the theories are why heterosexual guys cross dress? I heard that reasons include: sexual satisfaction or fetish, relief from the confines of being a man in the male world, and that the fabric feels good (so why not). Have you heard of these? Are there other reasons why?

Thanks,
Mike

Answer
Mike,

Actually yes I've heard all of those and more. The reasons for a heterosexual man wanting to cross-dress are as varied as there are cross-dressers. If you were to ask 1000 CD's (crossdressers) you would get 1000 different answers so there is no one reason.

As you stated, there some that feel a certain amount of stress relief. Some are sexually satisfied, some just like the feel of the clothing. Some see it as a form of creativity just as a musician has the need to make music, or a painter has a need to paint. A cd uses the "art" of cross-dressing to create an illusion. You could say some just have a really great sense of fashion, or depending on you you look at it a really bad sense of fashion. So there is no one definite reason for a man wanting to wear clothing normally associated with a woman.

Also there is nothing legally wrong with crossdressing (at least in the U.S. and Canada) There is nothing that says a person can't' walk down the street wearing what ever clothing they want as long as they are not exposing themselves. So if a dude wants to wear heels, makeup, skirts, dresses, pantyhose, etc. Then why not! Although there will always be some who feel a bit uncomfortable in the presence of a cd, and some who think they can "beat the gay" out of them, the reality is a heterosexual crossdresser is just that 100% hetero.

In fact 90% of all crossdressers are heterosexual, however they hide. Due to social stigmas and fear of being thought of as "gay" often hetero cd's will only dress at home and many will be married for years and never admit to their wives of their little "hobby" for the fear that the wife will want a divorce. In some cases that is a legitimate concern. Many cd's will enter professions that epitomize a masculine career. (i.e. military, construction, sports, etc.) However it's the 10% that the public sees and assumes thats what crossdressers are really like. The gay / drag queens are the ones that are the most vocal and really push their agenda. Therefore the transgender / crossdress community is not represented by the majority or the best of the society.

I'm also going to go on record and say most drag queens are not crossdressers. They are female illusionist who put on a show. Where drag queens create the character of a woman, a crossdresser will often attempt to pass as a woman. Look at the costumes a drag queens wears and ask yourself if a real woman would ever be caught dead in that unless they are a Vegas show girl. For many crossdressers the biggest fantasy and compliment is to be able to go to a mall and shop and never be recognized as a man. (personally I've done this) Most drag-queens only dress in female attire as a means of income and do not feel the need to dress beyond the act. As soon as the show is over they are back in male attire. In the years I've been dressing, I've only known 1 hetero drag queen and he would spend the entire night in female attire even after the show, where the rest of the performers would be out of the dresses ASAP.

So the reasons you mention are valid, there are many, many more. Based on your letter, I couldn't tell if you are a CD or if you're just curious about the lifestyle but if you feel the need to dress, or if you know someone that is than whatever your or their reasons for doing so, it's your or their reasons. Just remember at the end of the day, the girl clothes can be taken off and the guy clothes put back on. Crossdressing   is just an illusion and fantasy. The person doing it should be having fun and enjoying themselves. If they can do that with the comfort and security of being around friends than all the better. No one can be harmed by crossdressing. The clothing does not know if it's being worn by a man or a woman, it's just fabric.

So I guess the best and biggest reason for crossdressing is to have fun with it.

If you would like more info on hetro crossdressing, I would recomend you go to www.tri-ess.org .  Tri Ess is a "sorority" for hetero crossdressers and their wives to support and provide assistance. They are a great resource and I highly recommend anyone looking into the crossdressing lifestyle to start there. If there is anything else I can do questions I can answer, I'll be more than happy to do what I can.

Hope this helps.

Cheryl H.  

Transgender/Transsexual

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Cheryl H

Expertise

I can answer questions regarding male to female cross dressing and related issues. I will not answer any question dealing with pornography. If you are a minor and are asking adult related questions be prepared for me to either reject the question or tell you to ask an adult. Run on questions and that go on and on with various amounts of unrelated details will likely be rejected. I don't have the attention span to read 14 paragraphs crammed in to one about your high school crush before you get to the point. Fantasy and fetish inspired aka (Too good to be true) situations will likely be rejected. I wasn't born yesterday and I've encountered my share of TG fantasy. I can recognize the themes. Fictionmania exist for a reason. I'm a hetro cross dresser, this means I do not date men! I'm happily married with 2 sons. So don't bother asking me for a date... It's not going to happen and I will reject your question.

Experience

I am a life long cross dresser (male to female) and have been presenting in public for the past 10 years. I'm a member of Tri-Ess (Society for the Second Self). I've had the opportunity to get to know 100's of transgender people and have worked though and with those that are new to the transgender community. I have assisted many young and new "girls" when venturing out for the first time and worked with their families to help come to terms with many of the issues related to this life style. I am not a doctor or have any type of degree in this field, but I have cross-dreesed my entire life. Who better to ask a question about transgender issues than a transgender person. I am willing to answer any question I can concerning the Transgender lifestyle however there are some areas I will avoid.

Organizations
Member of Tri-Ess, and Sigma Epsilon. (Society for the Second Self, Atlanta Chapter.)

Education/Credentials
No formal "education" but I have 40 years of experience being a cross dresser. Who better to speak with than someone who has been there, done that, and has the t-shirt. I'm willing to lend an open ear "and shoulder" when necessary to who ever has the need.

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