AboutSusan M. Heim Expertise As the author of two books on raising twins and multiples, as well as a mother of four -- including two teenagers and preschool-aged twins -- I am qualified to answer any questions relating to the raising of twins and multiples, from birth through the teen years.
Experience I am the author of "It's Twins! Parent-to-Parent Advice from Infancy Through Adolescence" and "Twice the Love: Stories of Inspiration for Families with Twins, Multiples and Singletons." I write a regular column for Mommies Magazine called "Loving and Living with Twins and Multiples." I also write a blog called "Susan Heim on Parenting." I've published articles in TWINS Magazine, as well as many other publications. I'm also the mother of twins and two other children.
Organizations National Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs; Florida Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs; National Association of Women Writers; Southeastern Writers Association; Small Publishers Association of North America (SPAN)
Education/Credentials I have a bachelor's degree in Business Administration.
Awards and Honors My book, "Oh, Baby! 7 Ways a Baby Will Change Your Life the First Year" is a winner of the 2006 Parent to Parent Adding Wisdom Award, the only award program to ever be honored by Disney.com, as well as the winner of a 2007 iParenting Media Award.
Question Hello -
I have 4 month old, identical twin boys who were born at 33 weeks and 3 days of gestation. They spent 1 month in the NICU, but are hope doing wonderfully now. They are going to bed around 11pm - 12 midnight after their 6th feeding of the day. I have to pacify them 1-4 times through the night to get them back to sleep and I am holding off the morning feeding from anywhere from 6:30 - 8 am. I have a couple questions regarding their feeding and napping schedule:
- When and how should I set up daytime naps? The only set nap time is after their first feeding and 1/2 to 1 hour of awake time. This nap usually lasts anywhere from a 1/2 hour - 2 hours. The remainder of the day is a hodge-podge of awake time/play time/nap time and feeding in their boppies, swings, play gym, etc. How and when should I institute daytime naps and do I let them lay awake in their crib (and fuss) until nap time is over?
- They are eating anywhere from 3 - 4.5 oz/feeding. I am concerned that they are not eating enough throughout the day. Should I wake them up so they eat more? Or should I let them go 4 hours between feedings if they are ok with that? (It's amazing how long they'll sleep in their swings). They are gaining weight well, but are still getting 22 cal formula (supplemented breast milk or formula). They were born at 3lbs 10 oz and 4 lbs 7 oz and are now up to almost 12 and 13 lbs.
- Should I be putting them to sleep earlier or is that 6th feeding important due to their needed caloric intake.
Thank you so very much!
Answer Hi Erin,
Thanks for writing! Now is the time when you really need to start following a strict schedule. This not only helps you, but babies tend to respond very well to a schedule once they learn it. Many experts recommend that you follow a feed-play-sleep cycle. Feed them, then play with them for a while, then put them down for a nap. (This is usually recommended so they don't come to rely on the bottle or breast to put them to sleep.) They should be taking an afternoon nap, although it may not be as long as their morning nap (and you may not want it to be too long, or it could affect their nighttime sleep). When you put them down for a nap, don't rush in to rock or hold them if they fuss. Sometimes you need to let them cry a bit so they realize they can get to sleep on their own. Same for if they wake up too soon, let them fuss a bit. Also, don't forget that even though your boys are 4 months old, they are gestationally only about 2-3 months old, so it's not surprising that they may not be sleeping as well yet as full-term 4-month-olds. Many moms, like you, find that babies sleep very well in their swings, which is great. I don't see any reason why you shouldn't continue to use it. I would not wake them to eat unless they sleep way over their scheduled time. If the doctor is pleased with their weight gain, then it sounds like they're getting plenty to eat. The older they get, the farther apart their feedings will be. They should be getting to the age when you don't need to feed them every 3 hours anymore. Bigger meals at greater intervals may work just as well. You may not need that 6th feeding anymore. Babies tend to be very self-regulating. Unless they're ill, they won't starve themselves! They can usually guide you through the day as to how much they need as long as they're growing well. As for night sleeping, again, you may want to give them a little tough love if they're waking you up four times a night. By that third or fourth time, start stretching out the time it takes you to respond to start training them to get themselves back to sleep again. You'll have a few tough nights of crying, but they'll soon get the hang of it. I hope some of these ideas help. At this age, expect sleep issues still to be challenging (and they always feel twice as challenging with two), but if you stick to a schedule and let them fuss a bit more during nap/bedtime, things should be going pretty well by the time they're 6 months old.
Best wishes,
Susan Heim
www.twinstalk.com
