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Twins/Triplets/7 months old twins - bedtime

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Expert: Susan M. Heim - 4/25/2009


Question

Lilly and Manne
Dear Susan!
Our fraternal boy/girl twins are now nearing 7 months (5,5 months corrected) and have always had a hard time sleeping! We´re desperate to have them sleeping through the night but what´s worse is putting them to sleep in the evening. If they hear each other crying they both go into total meltdown. So the way we tuck them in now we each have a twin on seperate floors of the house. My husband has our boy and rocks him to sleep and I have our girl upstairs putting her to sleep using the ferber method. When they are both sleeping my husband puts our boy in his bed upstairs. At night my boy and husband sleeps in the guestroom while I take our girl in our bedroom (I have her because I still breastfeed her). She wakes up a lot at night but quickly goes to sleep with her pacifier or a quick feed( which we´re ending soon!) and he near enough sleeps through from 8-03 but then wakes up and cannot be put back to sleep for an hour or so.

It´s wearing a little thin not sleeping with my husband and having to go through the mess of putting them to sleep every night - how do we get them to sleep at the same time and in the same room? We´re so afraid they´ll wake eachother up at night which is one of the resons why we sleep seperately. Also, I´m starting work as a doctor with nightshifts soon so which method is the best for a single parent to put the two of them to bed at the same time?  

Thank you for answering!

The tired parents from denmark!

Answer
Dear Trine,
I hate to break the news, but it’s time to get tough (and before you go back to work)! Your twins have ruled your sleeping habits long enough. They’re old enough now for some sleep training. Start putting the twins to bed in their cribs and not worrying about them waking each other up. It will be difficult for a couple of nights to listen to them fuss, but they need to get the message that they have to learn to sleep together. If one of them wakes up, do not rush in to pick him/her up. The other child may or may not wake up (you’d be surprised at what they will sleep through sometimes!), but they will soon learn to sleep through each other’s cries. And they’ll start waking up less at night when they realize you’re not going to come feed or rock them. Do not breastfeed your daughter at night anymore. (After all, how will your husband breastfeed her when you’re working? And she’s old enough not to require a bottle at night.) Most importantly, get them trained now so it’s manageable for your husband when you’re gone. I know it’s hard to listen to them cry, but once you get them on a schedule, and start getting some sleep yourself, you’ll be so glad you did! It’s worth a few difficult days to get them sleeping together. I wish you all the best.

Warm wishes,
Susan Heim
www.twinstalk.com

Susan M. Heim

Expertise

I'm a mother of twins in elementary school and the author of three books on raising twins and multiples, and I love to answer any (nonmedical) questions relating to the raising of twins and multiples, from birth through the teen years.

Experience

I am the author of "It's Twins! Parent-to-Parent Advice from Infancy Through Adolescence"; "Twice the Love: Stories of Inspiration for Families with Twins, Multiples and Singletons"; and, "Chicken Soup for the Soul: Twins and More." I am also the founder of TwinsTalk, a website for parents of twins and multiples, and I write a blog called Susan Heim on Parenting. I've published articles in TWINS Magazine, as well as many other publications. I'm also the mother of twins and two other children.

Publications
TWINS Magazine, Mom Writer's Literary Magazine, Angels on Earth, Parenting Plus

Education/Credentials
I have a bachelor's degree in Business Administration.

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