AboutSusan M. Heim Expertise As the author of two books on raising twins and multiples, as well as a mother of four -- including two teenagers and preschool-aged twins -- I am qualified to answer any questions relating to the raising of twins and multiples, from birth through the teen years.
Experience I am the author of "It's Twins! Parent-to-Parent Advice from Infancy Through Adolescence" and "Twice the Love: Stories of Inspiration for Families with Twins, Multiples and Singletons." I write a regular column for Mommies Magazine called "Loving and Living with Twins and Multiples." I also write a blog called "Susan Heim on Parenting." I've published articles in TWINS Magazine, as well as many other publications. I'm also the mother of twins and two other children.
Organizations National Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs; Florida Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs; National Association of Women Writers; Southeastern Writers Association; Small Publishers Association of North America (SPAN)
Education/Credentials I have a bachelor's degree in Business Administration.
Awards and Honors My book, "Oh, Baby! 7 Ways a Baby Will Change Your Life the First Year" is a winner of the 2006 Parent to Parent Adding Wisdom Award, the only award program to ever be honored by Disney.com, as well as the winner of a 2007 iParenting Media Award.
Question Hello, I came upon this site by chance, and am hoping you can help. We have 28mo old fraternal twin girls who are having trouble going to bed at night. We moved them to big beds about 2 months ago, as they were climbing out of their cribs, and one of the twins had started to damage her crib from climbing and jumping around in it. Since the move to beds, bedtime has become a nightmare. we have stuck to the same bedtime routine we have had since they were infants(with some minor tweaking for age)and they get nice and calm for the stories and such, but as soon as we leave the room they get up and jump around, and play for as long as up to 2 hrs some nights. we have tried sitting in the room and rubbing their backs or heads, and this puts them to sleep but usually takes an hour or more, does not promote independent sleep, and takes away from the little time my husband and I have to spend with our older daughter and each other. On a whim one night we tried just leaving them be, and watched (we have a webcam in their room to monitor them for safety) and they got up, read some books and then when they were tired went to sleep. That was great, we thought we had our solution. but since then things have fallen apart. Now they get up and get books, but have been ripping all of their books apart, so we've had to take them away, and it has gone back to taking them forever to fall asleep again. They wake at 530 am regardless of how much sleep they have had, or when they fell asleep, and they are extremely prone to overtiredness, so sleep is critical in our house as when the OT sets in it messes up naps, makes them wake at night and early in the am, and just makes our day that much more unpleasant. what is the best way to go about handling this situation?? I want them to know how to go to sleep independently, and understand that there are rules and boundaries, but i also need them to get enough sleep for their sake and the sake of my sanity. Please Help!!
Thank you in advance for your help and time!!
Answer Hi Robin,
Bedtime difficulties are extremely common during the toddler years, especially with twins, and some of the most difficult problems to solve. Following are some strategies to try to get your twins to go to sleep. Some of these you may have tried already, but perhaps others are worth a try. You may especially want to try #3 for a while until they get out of this stage.
1. Make sure they get lots of physical activity during the day so they’re worn out at night. I can always tell when my twins haven’t had any outdoor playtime because they’re much less likely to sleep at night.
2. If they’re still napping during the day, it may be time to start cutting back on the amount of sleep they get during the day. Some kids do give up their naps at this age. They’ll be a lot more ready for bed if they haven’t been over-rested during the day.
3. Twins feed off each other’s energy. You might need to separate them just to get them to sleep. If they must share a bedroom, perhaps you can lay one of them down on a sleeping bag in the master bedroom, and then transfer him/her to bed once he or she is asleep. Being alone might bore them enough to put them to sleep.
4. Let them “read” by themselves in their beds. They think they’re “getting away” with not having to go to sleep, and yet looking at books might make them sleepy. (I know you already tried this one!)
5. If they pester you with requests for drinks or the bathroom, make a rule that there’s only one potty break and one drink break after bedtime, and be tough. Don’t let them whine and convince you that they just MUST get up again! Tell them ahead of time that they’re only allowed one time up. When they yell, “Mom, I need another drink,” don’t ignore them because they’ll just yell more. Say instead, “You already had your break. Good night!” Let them know you’re acknowledging them, but not giving in.
6. You might need to make their bedtime later. Some kids are just natural “night owls.” I know some parents who are able to get their kids in bed by 7:30 or 8:00, but mine have always done better with a 9:00 bedtime.
7. Make sure they have very little soda, caffeine and sugar, especially after dinner. Allow them a small glass of milk at night as milk has natural sleep-inducing qualities (but not so much that it makes them wet themselves at night).
8. Make sure they have a comfort object to sleep with, such as a special blanket or stuffed toy. Try to reserve it only for bedtime so they look forward to being able to cuddle with it at night.
9. Make sure the room is dark enough at night. If the moon shines in their room, get blinds. However, you might still need a nightlight for them if they get scared. My twins know that no “monsters” will come around when the blue light (their nightlight) is on in their room.
10. If they’re afraid to fall asleep because of nightmares, teach them that they’ll have happy dreams if they think of something they like before they go to sleep. Coach them to think about playing in the park or going to the zoo at bedtime.
11. Follow the same “winding-down” routine every night. Make sure they have a warm bath, soft pajamas, and cuddling during story time. Teach them how to watch the clock, and when the “big hand reaches the top,” it’s time to go to bed. They’ll have fun telling YOU when it’s time for bed.
Of course, these methods aren’t necessarily going to work the first night, but if you continue to follow them, you’ll soon be able to notice a difference. Remember to be consistent and firm, and your bedtime difficulties should diminish.
