I have 14 month old twin girls. I recently left for a month due to a family emergency, the girls have a good routine and were left with their grandma and grandad which they both know very well, since coming back one has started screaming while in her cot, either coming out of a sleep or before falling asleep, I am sure It's because she is suffering some separation anxiety,( also note, her father which she had a very close bond with recently left us) she is fine once in my arms but if i put her back into her cot she screams she seems to need to come out of the room and stay awake for a while and then resettlement, I am just worried the taking her out of the room is going to cause bad habits. But it seems to be the only way to calm her, and she tends to wake her sister if i leave her for too long. OS here anything I can do to help her be reassured I am back and not leaving again ?? I am worried it has caused some trauma to her.
I might suggest asking her if she would like a little special "mommy time" when she is upset. that way you keep it positive and take her out of the room, maybe to read a short book. The one I felt reassured my twins was the Runaway Bunny because the mom assures the bunny that she will always find him and love him. Also you can defer the "mommy time" if you really want her to get some sleep. Maybe promise her the mommy time in the morning.
My routine was to let each twin pick out a book before bed. We would all go over to one twin's bed to read and then we would switch over to the other bed to read the other book. Having a nighttime routine always made them feel safe and loved.
As they get older, start introducing special time with grandma and granddad, if you can, so they can continue to nurture that relationship and learn to be independent from you. Keep your chin up. Being a single mother of twins is especially hard.
Have you found your local Mother of Twins club yet? It can be a great support group. Go to NOMOTC.org to find a chapter near you. The women in the club are inspirational and have so many great tips. We're all in the same boat!