AboutElayne Glantzberg Expertise I can answer questions on PCOS, Clomid, spontaneous reduction, preterm labor, severe prematurity, micropreemies, NICU, how to raise triplets without outside help, life with triplets and more, cerebral palsy, visual impairments, Asperger's/autism, and breastfeeding.
Experience I have bgg triplets born in 1999 and three more boys born in 2002, 2006, and 2008, the last two by VBA2C (vaginal birth after 2 cesareans). My triplets were born at 26 weeks. My singletons were all full-term and fully breastfed. We have raised our triplets with no help and with a blind father. One of our triplets is also disabled with mild CP and mild autism, two have some vision problems, and one has had lung issues since birth.
Question I never expected thsi answer... can u elaborate?
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Followup To
Question -
Hello,
I have a problem that could risk my marraige!
I am 27,my husband is 31..
We already have two kids ..
an 8 year old boy concieved first try after going off the pill and a 3 year old daughter concieved when we were "less careful" .. so I seem to be rather fertile and with no ovulation or fertility problems ...
The problem is that my husband does not want any more kids while I can not picture myself with less than four kids!! .. He finally agreed that we can have one more kid ... a compromise for both of us ...
But deep down I know that if I don't have four kids I will not be able to make it through life ..
I was thinking of taking clomid (with doctor's monitoring of course) without my husband knowing ONLY for the chance of having twins ... this would save my marraige I gurentee it!! ... I do not want another person telling me it is dangerous because I weighed it out and I have been reseraching for almost a year now .. I am sure I want to do clomid ... I will not be telling my husband though ...
I need to know if I can increase my chance of multiples in any way? ... I am already taking folic acid, primrose oil capsules, vitamin B6, and prenatal vitamins .. I will also use ovulation predictors once we start trying (hopefully in May 2006).. I need advice!! I need twins (or even triplets) or my marraige will be unbearable!! ...
Thanks!
Answer -
I think you need to seek counseling.
Answer Multiples are an incredible stress on a marriage. I don't remember the exact numbers, but I believe the divorce rate in the first year of having triplets is %50 or more. Twins is almost as bad. There are so many factors. If you have triplets, you're most likely going to be on bedrest, with your husband having to work and care for you and your children by himself. Then they are born prematurely, and you have weeks or months of NICU, wondering if your babies will live and if you can pay the bills. The hospital bills for my triplets were $1.2 million. You also have an increased risk of disabilities, including cerebral palsy, blindness, learning disorders, and severe brain damage. The first year or two, you will be under the incredible stress of caring for multiple infants. Take all the sleeplessness, all the tears and frustration, all the money spent on diapers and clothes and bottles, and multiply it by 2 or 3. Then multiply by more if you have any of the birth problems I mentioned. Can you take it? Maybe; you want the kids. But can your husband take it, when he doesn't want them? My husband would flat-out divorce me if he ever discovered a deceit that big. What will yours do when he finds out?
Multiples are no picnic, and they are no easy short-cut to a large family. I love my children, but I wouldn't wish triplets on my worst enemy. How can you intentionally inflict that on someone you love?
If you really feel that your marriage is so unbearable that you would leave over not having more kids, I guarantee what happens with multiples is not going to be pretty. I suggest you seek counseling, personal or marriage, and make sure you and your marriage are rock steady before you bring more children into it. And be up front with your husband. Unless you want to try raising those triplets by yourself.
