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UK Relationships/long distance relationship


hello sir,
i am from india. .i did my graduation from pune. i fel in love with a girl. .we got in relation. .we made love every single day. .we were together always. .we are in relation from past three and half years. .we lost virginity to eachother in the very fourth month of our relation. .in india losing your virgin before marriage is a sin. .but still we went ahead. .our love and bonding made us blind. .i spent 3years in pune with my girl friend or you can cal as my wife. .
but now i have been shifted to another city. .i find things a little wierd. .i chat call and i try to stay in touch with her every single sec. .i am being restless without her. .she was always intrsted to tok to me. .but these days she is not so. .when i ask for the reason she getz irritated and bursts out. .i am trying hard to understand things. .all negative thoughts are runnin in my mind. .that she has an another affair. .she must be hanging out with someone else and so on. .
m really not understanding wot to do at this situation. .things are hurting me alot. .crying for her time everyday. .she keeps giving excuses all the time when i ask to tok to me. .
sir please help me out. .i am not able to be practical.. i dont want to leave her. .i dont want our relation to end. .please help me out. .

if you have any questions to give me a better solution. please let me know sir. .i will answer all your questions honestly. .
plz help me out. .

Hi Mohammed

I know that you want me to offer you some sort of technique, some plan for making this girl attentive and loving again. I'm afraid I cant do that. You must accept that any relationship only exists is BOTH parties want it to. One person , no matter how badly they want it, cannot keep a relationship going.
Long distance relationships are very difficult. For married couple with children it can be, pratically at least a little easier as they are working towards a common goal but for two young people who are just starting out in life and love, its difficult because young love needs closeness.

If you really miss her that much, and life is so terrible without her then maybe you need to consider drastic action like leaving your job and moving back to her town. I'd advise against that though. My advice , which you wont like, is that you have one final conversation with this girl and attempt to make her understand how confused and upset you are by her cooleness towards you.
If that doesnt work then Mohammed, you may have to simply accept that the relationship is over. Its not easy, and its not pleasant but it may be the case.

Good luck


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Steve Wilson


Any questions on families or relationships are welcome. As are any issues or problems that you have with communicating or simply being understood by those around you. I have voluntarily worked as a counselor in the past, both with individuals and families. I cant promise to have an answer to everything but will help as and where I can, without making judgements.


Both a former telephone counselor with a well known international support organisation and a former police officer within a major UK city. I've helped with numerous issues and worked with individuals and family towards conflict resolution.

Bachelor of Arts (Honours). I've received training in family and teenage counselling.

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