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UK Relationships/Long Distance Relationship


Me and my boyfriend met at summer camp this past summer, and fell completely head over heels in love. It was as if everything we had both been looking for came to us at a time that we weren't looking for it, and it has been the most amazing feeling ever. One problem. He lives in England and I live in New York.

I finished my Bachelors Degree just this past May and am now on the job hunt - my field was theater but I'm looking for any kind of work possible. He has this year to finish his degree in Maths with Education and then one year of teacher training. I spent 6 weeks in England with him living with him and his family, and it was the best time of my life, and now we are doing the long distance thing over Skype and phone all the time.

I have been hoping and praying to get a job to sponsor me for a work visa to go over there and be with him, but all the jobs that are willing to sponsor migrant employees are higher up and completely out of my level as a recent grad without much experience.

He is willing to apply for teaching positions here during his teacher training year next year, to come here for the year after if I can't make it over there, however a lot of teacher exchange programs require a minimum of three years teaching experience before sponsoring someone. However, mathematics teachers are in very high demand in the US, and I would go with him to any state where he got a job.

I can't even begin to imagine the thought of spending more than three years apart, even if we do see each other in between. Immigration laws are really complicated, and if you have any advice on what we can do to get to each other as soon as possible, it would be much appreciated.

Thank you!

Hi Katie

I'm afraid that the logistics of visas, work permits etc are well outwith my expertise.
An an ex-pat myself, (a Brit living in Asia) I do know that generally work visas are offered to experienced employees with a certain degree of accomplishment in their field, and often, earning above a stipulated salary. I can understand the need to do so but of course its tough on people starting out on their careers.
So basically you have two options; research yourselves mad trying to find a way to get some form of post-grad posting in your respective countries or, and here's what i'd suggest. Take a few months of doing something that you can both do thats not job our study related - take 6 months to go and travel round Europe or South America together , go and work for a charity somewhere together......I realise its not perfect because a) you need to fund it and b) it doesnt progress your careers but I need to point out that there may not be a perfect answer here.
What it does though is it allows you get the time that you need to learn about each other and it also gives you the opportunity to laugh a little, worry a little, fight a little and make up, all the things that normal healthy couples do, because , while I am not doubting the strength or sincerity of your love for one moment, there are things that you can only know about another person when you have experienced the monotony of day to day life with them.

Additionally ; has your boyfriend checked here......??
Seems to be plenty of information and its specifically targetted at graduates so guess the 3 years minimum thing wouldnt apply....

Also , have you considered Canada ,

Might be easier for him to get into as a Commonwealth citizen and perhaps for you as a "North American" neighbour.

Sorry I cant be more concrete in my advice but, as I say, its not really my field.

Take care and best of luck


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Steve Wilson


Any questions on families or relationships are welcome. As are any issues or problems that you have with communicating or simply being understood by those around you. I have voluntarily worked as a counselor in the past, both with individuals and families. I cant promise to have an answer to everything but will help as and where I can, without making judgements.


Both a former telephone counselor with a well known international support organisation and a former police officer within a major UK city. I've helped with numerous issues and worked with individuals and family towards conflict resolution.

Bachelor of Arts (Honours). I've received training in family and teenage counselling.

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