UK Relationships/can't move on

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Question
sir,
am a 19yr old boy,
my relationship started when i was in standard 11th..it lasted for about 2years.....
i really loved my girlfriend a lot....
she betrayed me.... i will tell you whole story...
my girlfriend was a nice girl but she is very stupid kind of girl.any one can fool her....
when i was in relationship with her she told me about her past....
her past was very painful.she was sexually harassed by many people in her childhood...even her dad harassed her when i was in relationship with her... i tried my best but couldn't help her..
she accepted me coz she saw me as a medium to recover from that pain which she suffered(this is Wat i think)in past
then she used to talk to a boy 2 years younger than her and that boy had crush on her...so he abused me 1 day and also warned me to leave her..... i asked my beloved to stop talking to him and dnt keep any kind of relation with him....
she did as i said.....but in a month or 2 she again started talking to him instead of knowing that the boy abused me verbally..... i warned my beloved but she didn't listened so i verbally abused my girlfriend....
and then she again left talking to him for 6months...
after that last year i cudnt talk much with my girlfriend as i was preparing hard for my engineering exams... i asked her to be patient till my exams r over....
but she disobeyed me and again started talking to him.... this hurt my esteem to a large extent and i again abused a her a lot...
and she broke up with me saying am an orthodox and i am bad....
was it my fault?? wat a man would have done if his wife used to talk to a guy who has verbally abused her husband and even has crush on her.....
after that i said sorry to my girlfriend a 100 times but she didn't patched up... then she told she kissed that boy 1 day this made me more angry and again i abused her and asked her not to talk to me ever...but she continued to text me after some interval of days...and i asked her not to talk to me each time...but now when am missing her a lot and i again said sorry even if it was her fault but she says she loved that boy not me ....she had strong infatuation with me......
sir
i cudnt forget that girl..... i truly loved her...i care for her. and wen i heard even her uncle molested her a few month ago then i became restless again.... i want her back coz i know she doesn't know wats good and wat is bad......
any 1 can fool her... even that boy now doesn't talks to her after that kiss... and she cant understand that he used her.....
sir i cant forget her..nearly every night i cry when i remember her... i dnt even remember when i slept with peace.....from 3years am crying..... when i was with her then i cried when ever she was being sexually harassed and now m crying coz she left me.....
was was it my fault.??. why am getting punished for loving her truly :-(
please help me out.... now she doesn't even wanna meet me for last time..... my heart says get back to her but my brain says she is stupid and characterless girl don't go for her.....
what shud i do??? plese help me..... am confused ..i want her coz i care for her.her past scares me the most and when i see her happy then am jealous that how she can be happy without me and when she is sad then am hurt coz she z my love.. vl i ever b able to forget her????? plese help

Answer
Rushabh,

There are many many issues to discuss in this question - too many to give you a satisfactory answer in one go.

I could break my answer up into many little answers but all that I can explain is actually written in a book that is essential reading for you. It will help you with this issue and will help you for the rest of your life. There is no quick solution or instant fix - you will need to learn several things to deal with the many issues you present here.

The book is called "Real Love in Dating". It is written by a Dr Greg Baer, and can be purchased through amazon.com. It will teach you everything you need to know and you can read it all in one go, instead of me writing you lots and lots of answers here.

If there is one thing you especially want to deal with now before you get the book delivered, then by all means write again, but the book can act as your relationship guide for the rest of your life - it is amazing, really.

Warm regards
Pete

UK Relationships

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Pete Uglow

Expertise

Marriage, relationship, divorce, infidelity, cheating, surviving an affair, individual counselling, couples counselling, coaching, life-coaching, parenting.

Experience

Together with my wife Nikki, I run Real Love UK, the only fully certified Real Love coaching organisation outside the US - also the only Real Love coaching organisation anywhere in the world that specialises in healing the pain of marital infidelity and relationship breakdown - anger, addictions, depression, break down of trust, lack of intimacy - in fact any relationship issue.

Publications
10 Steps to Help Your Marriage Survive an Affair - An Introduction to the Amazing Power of Real Love. (Nov 2012)

Education/Credentials
Certified Real Love Coach

Past/Present Clients
www.realloveuk.com/testimonials

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