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UK Relationships/I am easily swooned. Please help!


Help, I am easily swooned!

I just came back from a trip to the US. And like any other international trip I made, I am overwhelmed by the compliments I received from passers-by and people I had meetings with on my looks. Back home I don't feel that attractive. This time around something different happened. A guy that I met in US who was from London (he was also on Business Trip) asked me out. Me being always naive, thinking that people genuinely want to make friends agree to the a night out (my boss had a different idea, he said that the guy just wants to sleep with me). My initial plan was to bring him along to my usual night hang out with my boss at a bar nearby. But that night my boss had another plan so I texted the guy saying I don't have plans and that he could call my colleague if he wants to join them.

He replied asking me if I want to join him instead. He just came back from a game organized by the conference organizer and since I had no plans he asked me to join him at a bar nearby. I didn't know how to say No, so I gave various reasons not to go. To cut the story short, he ended up coming at my hotel at 1.30am! He gave reasons that I would be fun on a night out. When I came down at the lobby, he looked very sleepy and a bit like he had too much drink that night. He was really pushing himself to stay awake and carry a conversation with me. We talked about my religion, music and he complimented me - saying I look very beautiful several times (I was at my melting point after that).At one point he asked something so weird, he wanted to see me dance. Of course I said no. Our conversation ended 30 minutes since both of us have an early meeting the day after. I sent him a text thanking him for stopping by considering his condition. He replied telling me he was delighted to see me and looking forward to a night out that involves dancing with me in the future.

I thought he was sweet and stay in touch via Skype now that we're back home. I may have developed feelings for him and constantly looking at my Skype to see if he's online. We talked on Skype (each time I initiated). How do I stop this? He did asked me if I'll be coming to UK and will let me know if he's coming to where I'm at. Why must I feel all mushy about this. He does not initiate anything, I started to Skype him so far. Please help!

Hi Lisa

Sorry it has taken a very long time for a response. I have been overseas.
Firstly let me ask: what is wrong with being a little mushy?

You certainly wouldnt be the first person who got a little lovestruck. If its distressing you or making you feel unhappy then thats a different thing completely and you need to cut off contact but if its harmless fun then I really wouldnt worry about it.

Two things will happen, either you'll become closer and a relationship of some kind will develop or the calls will be come less frequent and will eventually fizzle out, and either way, there's no real harm in it.

Just relax, try not to contact him every day but when you do talk to him , enjoy it, it not doing either of you any harm.

Good luck


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Steve Wilson


Any questions on families or relationships are welcome. As are any issues or problems that you have with communicating or simply being understood by those around you. I have voluntarily worked as a counselor in the past, both with individuals and families. I cant promise to have an answer to everything but will help as and where I can, without making judgements.


Both a former telephone counselor with a well known international support organisation and a former police officer within a major UK city. I've helped with numerous issues and worked with individuals and family towards conflict resolution.

Bachelor of Arts (Honours). I've received training in family and teenage counselling.

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