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UK Relationships/how should i handle this?


I think my friend is on the downlow, even though she told me she was a christian. im 29 and shes 34 and females. i love making new friends but after this ive become withdrawn and afraid and now i keep to myself and . my friend constantly stareing at my butt and touching my arm and she'll leave it there for about a minute or two and check to see if i watching her, shes undressed in front of me, and she told me from day one what she wanted from me she let me know she wanted me to spend time with her and care for her and be there for her, i told her you have a man she kept smiling at me and put her head down. she gets upset if i dont claim her exp we were out chillin and some woman asked were we sisters i said no we friends and she was like oh so u aint gonna claim me i said as what we friends she was like oh i see how u is ive noticed she says see u dont get it quite a bit.....

well she tld me she was gonna b moving and asked me to move with her i said no, so she spent the whole day with me b 4 she left and was like well since me n u arent like that i guess ill have my kids call u auntie and she had the saddest look on her face then she started smirkin at me i askd her wats up she said oh nothing, so i said ok then imma stop talking to you she said yeah ok u TRY ME(0= well she calls me and asks me how am i doing and informs me of what shes been up too and then she lets me know that she passes by my house sometimes and doesnt know if she should stop by, i said uh no im still not feeling good and she just laughed a lil and said oh and jumped to another subject. i think shes a tad obbsessive.

why would you pass by my street there are plenty of main roads to drive on. well we stopped talking for a bit, she wanted to be friends again, i declined because of her actions like shell pass by my house for nothing or she acts very uncomfortable around me when she sees me and when shes with someone, she tends to hold allot against me which one of the reasons why i stopped being friends with her. i told my friend im sorry for being a bad friend in the past and not being their like i should have been lately and she says you good, everyone has their problems but she tends to hold alot against me.

for example if i cant hang with her cuz im busy she gets very angry she had came out of the closet not too long ago and told me that she thought that me and her were datin for the past year and wanted her kids too call me mommy, i told her i never ever liked her liked that, and we are just friends. there was a time where i was busy and didnít answer my phone and she was like U ANSWER THE HOUSE PHONE DONT U with this attitude well after that i was feeling uncomfortable so i stopped chilling with her.

well one day i had ran into her at the mall and she was sitting there smirking at me and was like oh so you do leave the house and she kept staring at me with her hands in her pocket and moving around (she wouldnt sit still) and she was balling up her fist with an angry look on her face and then her other friend came by and sat next to her and my friend quickly moved away from the girl and just stared at her and then my friend looked at me very sadly but she did not introduce me at all.

my friends think she may harm me physically based off what ive told them and told me to stay away from her for good and stop all contact because if i dont its gonna take a turn for the worse and thats not good. she recently moved and we havent spoken since then. she just called me after months of being angry with me saying we should catch up she has movie tickets......would you go?

i seen her a couple of days ago and she was glaring at me and balling up her fists and laughing and smirking, so i kinda think its a set up to make me pay for the pain i caused her... she had contacted me to go to the movies and i said no i dont feel comfortable around you after what happened betweem us, how about we talk on the phone... i even offered to be her friend  and she said no, its okay everything is fine, no harm i think if i go all im going to do is piss her off some more and possibly make her want me even more than she did before and she may even try to beat the crap outta me....cuz she cant have what she should i handle this, should i just give in and be her girlfriend, or should i offer to be her friend, or should i stay away from her and protect myself along with getting a restraining order?

Hi Leslie

I think the best option for a while is avoidance . So try to avoid places where you may bump into her, try not to answer her calls etc. If you do bump in to her, be pleasant, say hello but keep walking and keep your head down.
if she asks you a question or asks you out or whatever then again, be polite , say no, and then apologise and say you have to go, then hang up or walk away .
I'm pretty sure that if you keep that up for a few weeks she'll get the hint and drop it.
if she doesnt then you do probably need to talk to a lawyer and find out how you can legally restrict her from comtacting you.

But for a month or so try avoiding her , but if you do see her dont get dragged into conversation, dont be nasty but dont be too friendly - a neutral hello and then walk away.

I'm pretty sure she'll get the hint.

Take care

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Steve Wilson


Any questions on families or relationships are welcome. As are any issues or problems that you have with communicating or simply being understood by those around you. I have voluntarily worked as a counselor in the past, both with individuals and families. I cant promise to have an answer to everything but will help as and where I can, without making judgements.


Both a former telephone counselor with a well known international support organisation and a former police officer within a major UK city. I've helped with numerous issues and worked with individuals and family towards conflict resolution.

Bachelor of Arts (Honours). I've received training in family and teenage counselling.

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