UK Relationships/Re: Clarity


QUESTION: Thanks for clarifying what a spiritual connection was! My other question is: So a spiritual connection isn't that physical. What does it mean when people say that you feel someone, as in a soul attraction?

ANSWER: Do you know the feeling of meeting someone for the first time yet feeling like you have already known them for ten years?

Or have you ever felt irrationally, strongly attracted to someone? This attraction might manifest as (or be confused with) romantic or sexual attraction, but at the same time you know it runs way deeper than that. It’s like there is something in your core and soul that irresistibly pushes you to connect with that person.

Or maybe you just feel that you resonate with someone at a very deep, mysterious level, without being able to explain it at all.

A whole bunch of soul-level circumstances can cause this kind of resonance between you and other people. Here are a few common ones.

Soul-Level Agreements
At soul-level you have agreements with other souls to do spiritual development work together in this lifetime. These agreements can be decided upon after or even before you are born.

We usually have hundreds of these agreements. Depending on the choices we make, we meet some of these souls, and others not.

So it’s not like we necessarily meet those people. But when we do meet them, we immediately have this sense of deep recognition. It’s like you had an appointment with them and they just showed up for that appointment. You just know this is something big, something meaningful, something that happens at a deeper level. It’s like, wow.

This does not necessarily mean that you should marry that person, though. In some cases it is specified that the work together will happen within the frame of a romantic relationship – though not necessarily long-term. Some short-term relationships can also be very beneficial and growth generating.

Other times the nature of the relationship is undefined, so it could be a romantic relationship, but also a friendship, a business partnership, a teacher-student relationship… Whatever best serves your growth at that time. Soul Affinity
There are souls that you have never met in any past life before and have no agreement with, but they feel familiar or rather strangely similar to you. That’s the case when you guys belong to the same soul group (basically, the place your soul comes from – this place greatly shapes your soul), or have the same energetic strengths and soul-level talents.

That’s a bit like recognizing someone who comes from the same city or does the same job as you. You feel drawn to them because you just feel that you have something in common. This can be pretty intense, especially if you feel you haven’t really found your spiritual tribe prior to meeting them.

Vibrational Match
We are usually attracted to people based on the energy they radiate.

When they have a similar energetic vibe as we have, they feel familiar and comfortable to us. We probably aren’t crazily attracted to them then, but we like to be around them.

When their vibe is a match for the kind of energy we would like to have more of, then we feel strongly attracted to them. By being in their presence, we can adjust to their energy, and this allows us to learn, grow, change, manifest new results in our life, and shift our own vibration.

Soul-Level Gifts
Consciously or unconsciously, we always strive to express our soul-level gifts and talents in our human existence. Doing this all alone sitting in a cave doesn’t lead to much growth or choice, so we usually express our gifts by interacting with other people. Some people more than others allow us to fully express our gifts and step into who we are at soul-level. We feel tremendously attracted to these people.

For example healers will tend to feel irresistibly attracted to all kinds of wounded birds and unhappy or struggling persons. I know that from my own experience. When I see someone who has this vibe of pain about them, I just cannot help it, I feel like walking up to them and hugging them. It’s my nature.

Teachers will be drawn to students who are ready to hear their teaching, and so on.

Living our soul purpose means expressing our gifts and doing what we came here to do. We intuitively feel it when someone will give us the opportunity to do just that. Then we strongly want to interact with them!

When this is the case with someone, you need to be aware of what’s going on. Which also means that you need to be aware of your soul-level gifts and purpose. When it wasn’t clear to me yet that I was a healer, I would mistakenly get involved with people who would be better served being my clients, because I was feeling so drawn to them that I thought I must have a crush on them or something. This kind of attraction just didn’t make any sense to me back then.

Unhealthy Energetic Connections
There is a whole bunch of different connections between two souls that can cause us to feel very attracted to the other person, but that are inappropriate and not doing you any good. That’s the kind of stuff I clear away in my sessions.

These connections keep you energetically bound to the other person, whether you want it or not. Sometimes it manifests as you feeling preoccupied with them or worried about them or just thinking about them a lot or wanting to spend time with them. You might feel annoyed or drained by them, but you won’t necessarily always feel bad about them. It can even look like being in love with them.

Sometimes this kind of connection causes negative energies to circulate in you, negatively affecting your whole life and your other relationships, without you even linking this to the relationship it originated from.

This kind of inappropriate energetic bonds can create very strong feelings of belonging, recognition or attraction in you. These don’t come from a healthy place though, and the resulting relationships usually are quite draining.

So you think you feel attracted?
I’m going to be a wet blanket now.

Feeling drawn to someone in this very special, deeper way doesn’t mean that much.

It can feel wonderful and be a beautiful thing. It can also be caused by stuff that’s far from being beautiful.

Even when it is a truly beautiful thing, there are hundreds and thousands of people you can have this kind of beautiful connection with.

When our mind doesn’t have any other explanation in its frame of reference, it easily confuses this special something with romantic feelings. I warn against over-romanticizing. There are many reasons you could be feeling what you are feeling. Very often, a romantic relationship is not the most appropriate expression of it.

All this being said, do trust your gut when you have these feelings. They ARE meaningful and point to something, even if this something isn’t as positive or spectacular as we would wish.

It feels great to meet someone and just know you are called to connect with them. Just like I feel called to connect with you. There are so many reasons you are attracted to individuals at Soul-level and every one of them has a reason and meaning behind them. The relationships don’t always work out, but in the end the growth that comes from connecting with another on such a deep level is absolutely beautiful.

I am a healer Soul and from finding this out, it’s also helped me to stop and ask myself why I want to run and help another. It certainly doesn’t make the connections any less beautiful, in fact – they now mean more!

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: I have/had a young man in my life. I am deeply attracted to him, but I wouldn't call it love. I don't know why I feel this way about him. We met online, we go to the same college, and we became friends. Then we had a falling out with one another. A part of me at the time when I was hurt by what he did towards me that contributed to the falling out, thought I should be over this guy, he hurt me. A big part of me was/still is very attracted to him. I felt hurt whenever I tried to suppress my feelings towards him, but it hurt my core when I tried. The more I accepted my attraction/everything, the more natural it felt.

I read an interesting article about Twin Flames and it really resonated
with me.

Do you think that my attraction to him can be that?

Chemistry is the inexplicable, ineffable magic that happens when two people are profoundly attracted to each other, magnetized by each other's voice, smell, body and gestures and infused by a feeling that one has hit the equivalent of the mate lottery and stumbled upon the right fit. There are biologically borne effects when a chemistry combusts between two people: feelings of pleasure, a quickened heartbeat and euphoria, elicited by the brain's love chemicals dopamine, norepinepherine and phenylethylmine.

This is why couples stay up until dawn talking, lose their appetites and experience extraordinary bursts of energy.Chemistry opens you to receive another being; you grow to enlarge yourself beyond what you would otherwise be, know and perceive," Levine said. "We don't feel that with just anyone--a feeling that is so powerful and rewarding that it motivates people to work hard."A relationship must meet three criteria to qualify as having true "romantic chemistry":

* Mutual - One sided attraction is simply "attraction", "infatuation" or maybe even "lust." Once any of those terms become what both sides are feeling for each other then it is mutual and satisfies one requirement of "romantic chemistry."

* Effortless - "Learning to love someone" isn't generally referred to as "romantic chemistry." The whole idea is that there's an effortless connection, a natural rapport between people which earns the special moniker. Two people who feel like old friends, even though they've just met, qualify as feeling this natural, effortless connection.

* Sexual - "Romantic chemistry" without sexual attraction is merely "chemistry" or friendship. When two people feel "romantic chemistry" they not only feel naturally like old friends, but they also feel a sexual attraction to each other. The term "sexual chemistry" is used when referring only to the sexual component of romantic chemistry.

Love is about how the other person makes you feel. The fact of the matter is that love involves non-verbal reactions--synaptic (chemical) connections within our brains--despite how unromantic that sounds.
Twin Flames;;This reunion is of two complete and whole beings. All other relationships through all our lives could be said to be "practice" for the Twin Flame, the ultimate relationship. When Twin Flames get together, it is for some kind of spiritual service work. This is their primary reason for finding each other, because through their union a huge birthing of creative energy is released, to be used for their mission together. More and more Twin Flames are attempting to get together now to help the planet and humanity make a big shift forward in consciousness.It is more intense than any other union, and this intensity is at a soul level, not as much in the physical or even emotional bodies. This doesn't mean that there isn't a good attraction at those levels as well, but the strongest attraction is of spirit. This is one of the distinguishing characteristics of a Twin Soul.

'Many people think they have met their Twin Flame because the attraction is so intense, but it is a karmic attraction, one of need or bodily desire rather than the Divine Love of Twin Flames. Your chance of meeting and staying with your Twin Flame depends on how evolved your soul is, and how much of your baggage from this and past lives you have cleared. The biggest reason Twin Flames have to separate after coming together is their individual emotional baggage. Because in the presence of your Twin Soul, there can be nothing between you, nothing blocking your closeness. This means that everything comes up for healing that you haven't previously healed. Everything! When Twin Flames reunite, both of them experience an acceleration of their spiritual growth and awakening. They get on the fast track of learning about esoteric wisdom and experiencing other states of consciousness.
Guidance is strong with these relationships, and usually one or both have a good channel for communication with Spirit. Their connection is telepathic, and hugging each other is like coming home for nourishment.

Synchronicity plays an important part in Twin Soul meetings... I like to say that synchronicity is God's way of getting your attention. You may find similar experiences in the same time-frames before you even met,~ marriages, births, divorces, illnesses. You are a spiritual being. Your Twin Soul relationship awakens you to your true self. Manifesting your Twin Soul relationship is part of your awakening to your true self. You are a soul with a body. It is this concept that you must embrace and understand to manifest your Twin Soul relationship. It is a relationship between souls. In order to enjoy this relationship you must transition from an ego/personality/body with a soul, to a soul with a body, which is your true state of existence.
Those are only reminders that we are a spiritual being encased in an ego driven physical form, it is not a sign that you should abandon the relationship. Instead it is a sign that it is time to begin our spiritual journey as a soul in this physical world. We are being pushed to break out of the ego/personality/ body existence and step into the true self. Meeting your Twin Soul is the alarm clock that says it is time to wake up.

First difference is that this relationship is the beginning of a spiritual journey. Even though it touches your emotions and may even stir your libido it is still a spiritual union. It is said that one does not meet their Twin Soul or Twin Flame until they have learned many lessons of love, loss and forgiveness through close Soul Mate relationships, that the heart is made resilient and strong through pain and loss, and must be so to face the intensity of being with the other half of their soul. Many people who have met their Twin Soul had experienced a "Dark Night of the Soul", or a major spiritual transformation just prior to meeting, or upon meeting this soul.

It's almost as if you need to be "emptied out" emotionally, spiritually and mentally as a test of your spirit. Meeting your "other half" can be a magical, maddening experience that opens your perceptions. Some experience an opening of their psychic awareness as their heart expands in this unbounded and unconditional love. The fact is, your life will not be the same, and whether you perceive this as a gift or a curse is the challenge of your soul's evolution. The Twin Soul connection is always a triad involving the Divine Spirit/All That Is, two people connected by soul, connected to God.
Before one can physically unite with their Twin  Soul, one must do the conscious work of healing and becoming whole within their self. Twin Soul love cannot exist in a codependent, ego-based relationship, or from a perceived "need" that the other person will make you whole. Both must often face separations while they strengthen their own connection to Spirit and find their strength and purpose on their own. Each half will find balance in their male/female, yin/yang before union.

When both halves of the Soul become strong pillars on their own, have healed and resolved karmic ties in the present life, then they can unite to fulfill their Divine purpose, but the challenges do not end. There is an intensity that can be frightening when dealing with your mirror, your weaknesses and strengths magnified, unresolved issues and wounds painfully open to push you to further healing, or cause ego to run from the relationship in fear. It's important for Twin Souls to find their greater purpose, whether it's a task they will accomplish together, or alone, there will be work to be done. This relationship marks the beginning of a spiritual journey in which you get to know as much about your self and your inner essence as is possible and you grow spiritually. If you think a Twin Flame relationship is strictly about having someone to “call your own” this relationship will be a shocker to you.
What happens during the relationship is that you realize that you must become a spiritual being in order to make the relationship work on a physical level. If you are not ready to begin a true spiritual journey then you are probably not ready for a Twin Flame relationship. If you are not ready to release all the things you think you know and believe about how a relationship should work, you are not ready for a Twin Flame relationship. If you are not ready to release the baggage from previous relationships and realize this is a unique and different experience, you are not ready for a Twin Flame relationship.

That said, if you are truly ready then your journey begins by looking within for that which connects you to your Twin Flame. You must first become one with your inner essence/soul. From there you will be directed on how to proceed with the manifesting of your Twin Flame relationship into the physical. Also be aware that your “ego” and your soul/inner essence can not share the same “house”. So you have some choices to make. When you have made them amazingly enough you will have taken the steps to find your Twin Flame or the steps to work out the relationship in the physical. Since souls which are the base of Twin Flame relationships do not “dangle carrots” ~ Know that if you have met your Twin Flame it is because the relationship is meant to manifest in this lifetime in the physical.
Sometimes the only thing not “right” for you is other people’s opinions of what is right for you. Whether it manifests or not is determined by you and your connection to the only ones who should be involved in the relationship, and that is the souls. Interpretations of events in the relationship is best sorted by your inner advisors or someone who has the experience of working with and making progress in their own Twin Flame / Twin Soul relationship.

When you are introduced to your Twin Soul / Twin Flame it is the souls way of saying it is time to begin a new spiritual journey, it may take you away from all that is familiar, that is a choice you must make. However make no mistake about the fact that it is your journey. It does not belong to your friends or your family. It belongs to you and your soul and your Twin Souls’ soul. THE RELATIONSHIP ~~ First of all - if your ego is the first thing that enters the conversation/relationship with your Twin Soul you lose. If your pride and your ego enter the conversation or the relationship it is done. Twin Flame relationships serve the purpose of elevating the participant to the highest spiritual level that can be achieved.
Meeting the "other half of your soul" is generally so life changing and profound that there is NO question that you have met your Twin Soul.... you just know. Twin souls will both recognize this extraordinary bond, whether they are evolved and whole enough to acknowledge and act upon it is another thing. Meeting with your twin soul brings about an internal spiritual revolution, a deeper connection and understanding of the Divine and the Universal Oneness, this is the greatest gift of knowing your twin flame.

Twin soul love is not to be confused with an obsessive/compulsive disorder, it's not a desire to "possess" another, but truly a challenge to love unconditionally and without expectation, to be whole and complete within yourself before joining with the other whole and complete side of your soul. The longing and desire to be with your twin soul is intense, but through growth and perception can be seen as the greater longing to join with the Divine, and that is the true lesson, you are two halves of a much greater whole.
This is not a relationship of hearts and flowers, but one that will be tested in fire and will endure beyond time and space. Only in "letting go" can we be prepared to receive what is truly ours. There are some that believe the "reunion" with our twin flame is truly within, that we carry the essence of our beloved within our soul, and we are challenged to manifest that love in all we do, without attachment, without expectation, we become ONE. Because all things must be created on the spiritual/astral/higher plane before it manifests in your life, the twin soul relationship becomes a true challenge for us. Because we do not truly realize that we are creating most of the time with our thoughts, good, bad or indifferent. We begin the creation process in our lives without us being aware that we are creating.

The twin flame relationship requires us to be completely aware of the spiritual side of our lives. It cannot be addressed in the hit and miss fashion that most of our lives are treated to.. When you learn to focus on a event in the spiritual you realize that you have more control than you think over your life. The key is that spiritual focus which connects you to the soul ~ the author of your fantastic relationship ~ also the one with the inside knowledge on manifesting your life in a positive manner. It then becomes like having the KEY to the front door of the bank and the combination to the vault and the legal right to use both as you desire.  

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I have been teaching men and women how to find the satisfaction they seek in relationships for more than 25 years,presents a new framework for looking at people problems which expands the range of possibilities for change. my active approach provides help in solving seemingly insoluble relationship problems in a timely way.I view psychotherapy as a respectful partnership. My style is "active" rather than "silent", as I believe people can evaluate and choose the ideas that are useful for themselves. Knowledge and experience with a wide range of approaches enables me to be flexible in tailoring my approach to fit the needs of each particular person. The therapy relationship provides a safe laboratory for experimenting with new ways of relating.My special interest and expertise is in working with people on achieving more satisfying relationships. Through identifying patterns of handling conflict and developing strategies for change, any relationship can improve: at work, with a spouse, with family members, as well as difficulties in establishing a close, intimate relationship. Individuals, couples and/or families can do this relationship work.I have voluntarily worked as a counselor in the past, both with individuals and families. counsel for my church

Doctorate (Combined Program in Counseling Psychology & School Psychology) Dissertation Topic: School Violence Prevention Masters of Science and Specialist in Education (Counseling and Human Services) Spirituality and Care of the Soul in Psychotherapy

I hold advanced degrees in Counseling (PHD) and Education (MS). achieved a minor in music while also completing a dual major in Psychology and Education (BA). It means i have been trained to the highest possible level by the most experienced professionals in education and mental health care. It means i can help you — safely and professionally — unlock your full potential.I've dedicated my life study to finding the best ways to help other people. I have a sincere desire to open up your world, remove blocks, and unlock hidden potential.Doctorate (Combined Program in Counseling Psychology & School Psychology) Masters of Science and Specialist in Education (Counseling and Human Services) Dual Major in Psychology and Education with Minor in Music (Piano Addictions, Impulse Control and Eating Disorders, MDD, Bipolar Disorders, ADHD, and Co-morbid Disorders, and PTSD.

Awards and Honors
•Resolving Family Conflict: Innovations, Initiatives and Advanced Skills •Self-Injurious Behavior: Assessment, Treatment and the Recovery Process •Art Therapy and Anxiety: Healing Through Imagery •Turning Bullies Into Buddies: A Quick, Powerful and Fun Way to Teach Kids How to Stop Being Victims •The Truth About Children and Divorce, Anxiety Disorders: Research, Diagnosis and Treatment •Crisis Debriefing for Youths and Adults: Effective Techniques to Help Survivors of Crises •Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy: The Basics of Helping People Get Better •Autism: “Building Bridges from Isolation to Interaction”, Multiple Perspectives on Children’s Learning, Behavior, and Development •Ethics and Laws for the Helping Professional, Preventing Medical Errors for Mental Health Professionals, Domestic Violence Update

Past/Present Clients
Attended the following for licensure requirements: •California Psychology Law and Ethics Update and Review •Child Abuse •Human Sexuality •Chemical Dependency

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