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I have been seeing a woman who is 10 years my senior over the last 3 years or so. She is married woman. Since Easter this year, I have stopped all communication with her and decided to split with her, although I never actually openly expressed it that I want to finish with her. The reason being - I felt over the years that I have always been the one leading the relationship by arranging dates,where to dine out, where to meet and eat etc, even down to the fact that I have to make a conversation, so I always have to initiate in everything. All this has made me bored of the relationship as it seems she is very dull as I always have to initiate. I have always given myself chances to be with her each time about this then I recently decided to put my foot down and stopped all communication as the last time we met, she simply never communicated with me.I was fed up. Since then we never spoke, just recently she greeted on facebook with a "Hi". I replied but nothing else followed.

I have told her about this once before but she denies it all by saying that its me that doesn't open up to her much, which is absolutely wrong. I am a divorcee and her behavior also reminds me of my ex wife as she was also similar.

I just wanted to know, on this basis, have I made the right decision in just leaving her ? Do guys always have to lead the relationship ? I have known her 3 years, so she should be confident enough to decide on things. Am I right in this ?

Answer
best not to force a relationship/Sometimes it can be quite difficult to not force something when we want it badly; but forcing someone to be in a relationship or love you is a recipe for total disaster. Surprisingly, some people don’t even realize when they’re forcing love. They go through the motions, making excuses for why the other person isn’t reciprocating their actions. The reality is if you are always on the giving in of love and never receiving it, it may not exist in the other person.Consider these six signs to ensure that you’re not forcing love or a relationship that either doesn’t exist or simply isn’t meant to be.u asked him out. Every other plan has been made by you. He simply accepts, and at times declines, your invitation. However, he never makes the arrangements. If he wants to see you, allow him to make arrangements some times. It can very well be a case of him not having to do anything because he knows that you will take care of it. So to be on the safe side, allow him to have an equal say in when the two of you see each other. If he doesn’t initiate a date or make time to see you, then don’t force the issue.{PLEASE SUBSTITUE HE TO SHE-HER] You Always Have To Ask How He Feels ALL THE TIME

If you’re constantly doing a ‘how do you feel about me?’ check with your significant other, either he doesn’t’ care to share, doesn’t’ know, or doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. Either way it’s the signs of an unhealthy relationship. When you’re unsure of how your man feels about you and he never cares to share, it’s important to not make up feelings for him that actually don’t exist.He Disregards Serious Matters

Unless you’re dating a child and not a grown man, at times your relationship will call for serious conversations and he should be ready to discuss the matters at hand. By nature, women may want to ‘talk’ more than men, but if he’s always changing the subject when you’re talking about your future, how to make your relationship better, or anything that calls for a serious tone, you may want to evaluate the relationship.You Initiate The Communication 80 % Of The Time

If it were up to you, the two of you would talk multiple times a day. If it were up to him, he would be fine speaking to you once or twice a week. If you find yourself being the only one  sending good morning or goodnight texts or the only one in the relationship doing a ‘just checking on you’ call, you may be forcing something that is not really there. If a man wants to speak to you, he will make time; and keep in mind just because he answers your calls doesn’t mean that he can’t live without you. If he’s just as serious about you as you are about him, he would initiate texts or call more.You Hear No More Than Yes

No one likes to feel rejected, especially if the rejection is coming from someone that you care about. If you’re in a relationship and you’re constantly met by rejection, it may be time to reevaluate the situation. If your significant other is not willing to compromise or at least allow you to have things your way sometimes his “no’s” may say a lot about how he feels about the relationship.i would move on and get someone who is more compatiable

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any questions,concerns,issues,advice from relationships,family,friends, common sense approach to couples counseling, men and women are intrinsically different and the key to solving relationship issues lies in understanding and honoring those differences and I am here to counsel and grant reconciliation,understanding and hope, spiritual wisdom and healing.Anything dealing with relationships i am here to help.Types of problems such as divorce, separation, death; post-traumatic stress after experiences like rape, theft, auto accident; life changing experiences such as illness, loss of job, moving; important decisions such as ending a relationship or abortion; and sexual difficulties,cheating,depression,how to express yourself. questions on love, romance, dating, and infidelity;Breaking up can be difficult. Have you wondered how to get out of a relationship or how to stop dating someone?get the rules for breaking up and find out what you can do (and not do) to make things easier for both parties.Have you become friends with someone you were in love with in the hopes they would one day see you as more than a friend? Or do you want to be more than just friends with somone you know now? If you've ever been trapped in 'the freind zone' -- or are in it now ,let's talk about it/ When should you have sex in a new relationship? What does a man think when you have sex with him right away? Can sex on a first date ever work out? When someone who makes our heart beat faster comes within a one mile radius of us, most of us feel anything but cool…. So what do you do? Get invaluable tips from relationship advice on what to do when you feel shy and unable to approach the one you want.

Experience

I have been teaching men and women how to find the satisfaction they seek in relationships for more than 25 years,presents a new framework for looking at people problems which expands the range of possibilities for change. my active approach provides help in solving seemingly insoluble relationship problems in a timely way.I view psychotherapy as a respectful partnership. My style is "active" rather than "silent", as I believe people can evaluate and choose the ideas that are useful for themselves. Knowledge and experience with a wide range of approaches enables me to be flexible in tailoring my approach to fit the needs of each particular person. The therapy relationship provides a safe laboratory for experimenting with new ways of relating.My special interest and expertise is in working with people on achieving more satisfying relationships. Through identifying patterns of handling conflict and developing strategies for change, any relationship can improve: at work, with a spouse, with family members, as well as difficulties in establishing a close, intimate relationship. Individuals, couples and/or families can do this relationship work.I have voluntarily worked as a counselor in the past, both with individuals and families. counsel for my church

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Doctorate (Combined Program in Counseling Psychology & School Psychology) Dissertation Topic: School Violence Prevention Masters of Science and Specialist in Education (Counseling and Human Services) Spirituality and Care of the Soul in Psychotherapy

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I hold advanced degrees in Counseling (PHD) and Education (MS). achieved a minor in music while also completing a dual major in Psychology and Education (BA). It means i have been trained to the highest possible level by the most experienced professionals in education and mental health care. It means i can help you — safely and professionally — unlock your full potential.I've dedicated my life study to finding the best ways to help other people. I have a sincere desire to open up your world, remove blocks, and unlock hidden potential.Doctorate (Combined Program in Counseling Psychology & School Psychology) Masters of Science and Specialist in Education (Counseling and Human Services) Dual Major in Psychology and Education with Minor in Music (Piano Addictions, Impulse Control and Eating Disorders, MDD, Bipolar Disorders, ADHD, and Co-morbid Disorders, and PTSD.

Awards and Honors
•Resolving Family Conflict: Innovations, Initiatives and Advanced Skills •Self-Injurious Behavior: Assessment, Treatment and the Recovery Process •Art Therapy and Anxiety: Healing Through Imagery •Turning Bullies Into Buddies: A Quick, Powerful and Fun Way to Teach Kids How to Stop Being Victims •The Truth About Children and Divorce, Anxiety Disorders: Research, Diagnosis and Treatment •Crisis Debriefing for Youths and Adults: Effective Techniques to Help Survivors of Crises •Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy: The Basics of Helping People Get Better •Autism: “Building Bridges from Isolation to Interaction”, Multiple Perspectives on Children’s Learning, Behavior, and Development •Ethics and Laws for the Helping Professional, Preventing Medical Errors for Mental Health Professionals, Domestic Violence Update

Past/Present Clients
Attended the following for licensure requirements: •California Psychology Law and Ethics Update and Review •Child Abuse •Human Sexuality •Chemical Dependency

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