About Blaire Palmer Expertise Stuck in a rut? Want to change your life? Feeling stressed or that you`d like more control over your life? Ask me how Life Coaching could help.
Experience I am a full-time Personal and Professional Coach helping my clients to close the gap between where they are now in their life and where they would like to be.I specialise in relationship coaching but can also help with any area you want to upgrade in your life. While I won't tell you what to do I will give you lots of ideas and help you see things in a different way.
Organizations Committee member, International Coach Federation. Full-time Personal and Professional Coach, Coach University Student, Online Coach for Flametree.co.uk.
Publications Evening Standard, Jewish Chronicle, Flametree.co.uk, Commercial Sense Magazine.
Expert: Blaire Palmer Date: 8/7/2001 Subject: My Marriage
Question My husband and I are divorcing. Since the separation I have been taking good care of myself and have lost 40 pounds. We have two small boys together and I was wondering if someone says they dont love you and leaves, is it possible for them to fall back in love with you? Weve both made our share of mistakes but I dont want to lose him. Are divorce is final in 2 weeks. He tells me he loves me one day and says the next that he doesnt that he is confused. Is there anything I can do to try to save this relationship or is it just wishful thinking. Thank you
Answer It is a shame that there is such a time pressure here. Is it possible to delay the completion of the divorce until you both are clear about the way forward? Just as people sometimes jump in to marriage they sometimes jump in to divorce. Why the rush?
Having said that, you deserve someone who really wants you and is committed to working at the relationship. Often, understandably, people feel if they let a relationship go, they are passing up their only chance of happiness. In fact, it could be that you are creating a vacuum in to which someone or something even better can come.
Also, you talk about whether he loves you and you say you want to save the relationship but you don't say you love him. Maybe this is an oversight but it isn't all about how he feels. It's about you too and what you need. You have made some changes since the separation. What about him?
Ultimately, you have to trust that you can handle life without him. Once you know this (and you CAN handle it, believe me), then the world opens up with possibilities. Maybe he will fall back in love with you (someone who is not afraid of being on their own is very attractive), maybe someone better will come along, maybe you'll find life after divorce is full of opportunities you never had when you were married – freedom, accomplishment, independence, new friends, more time, more self-belief, more fun!
We can't MAKE other people fall in love with us (We wish we could of course!). But we can do something about how much we love ourselves. You don't NEED him to feel whole. Now you have a chance to feel complete on your own. And, if you do that, who knows what wonderful things the future will hold?
