About Michal Leah Kanovsky Expertise I can answer questions about relationships. If you tell me about a particular argument or occurence that happened in a relationship you`re in (with a lover, family member, or friend) I can try and offer some perspective. If you want to tell me in general about an entire relationship, I can try and map out the power structure (as I see it) and give you advice to help make things healthier. I can also offer advice as to getting out of bad or destructive relationships without too much suffering on any side.
Experience I am a philosopher who studies (and theorizes) on the relationships between people. This includes lovers, family, and especially friendships (as these can sometimes be the most confusing). I have written many essays and stories on the topic of power in friendship . I am not an expert in all relationships, but I hope to be able to give advice and learn more about relationships in general through the dialogue.
Expert: Michal Leah Kanovsky Date: 1/21/2003 Subject: married man trouble
Question To make a long story short.. I have been involved with a man for 3 years, he is married.He is on the other side of the world but manages to get back over a few times a year,we talk every day, and I truly do love the man, and do believe his feelings for me, says we will be together etc, she did find out something was up and I suppose forgave him, now he is saying the thing to do is for me to come over to his home and knock on his door and bring the situation to light and he will leave the home.I know the relationship is not the best of starts for us but don't think I should have to go to those lengths for him to become single... just wondered what your thoughts on this situation were? should I do it? Should I not?
thanks,
L
Answer Dear Missy,
I don't think you should have to go to those lengths to help him become single again. It is rather insensitive of him to even ask for something like that. It is also extreemly incosiderate of his wife's feelings. This guy sounds very selfish to me and although it may be true that he loves you, it seems as if his love revolves around himself. He should be a little more concerned with how you feel and not try to put you in a position that would make you the protype "obsessive other woman".
If he was a mature individual he would speak with his wife, tell her the truth, and gain his freedom that way. Deciding to "surprise" his wife with your knock on the door is a childish way of handling things or shaking things up just to see what happens. Don't do it.
