About Blaire Palmer Expertise Stuck in a rut? Want to change your life? Feeling stressed or that you`d like more control over your life? Ask me how Life Coaching could help.
Experience I am a full-time Personal and Professional Coach helping my clients to close the gap between where they are now in their life and where they would like to be.I specialise in relationship coaching but can also help with any area you want to upgrade in your life. While I won't tell you what to do I will give you lots of ideas and help you see things in a different way.
Organizations Committee member, International Coach Federation. Full-time Personal and Professional Coach, Coach University Student, Online Coach for Flametree.co.uk.
Publications Evening Standard, Jewish Chronicle, Flametree.co.uk, Commercial Sense Magazine.
Question Hi-
I was wondering what assistance you might be in a repeated relationship issue between my boyfriend and I. We are both single, in our 40's and for 9+ years have a very good relationship except for the times which reflect problems in his life (jobs, ex-wife) when he acts negative toward me and our relationship. I am only a layman, but I see him as having symptoms of depression at those times. He will not seek counseling, and has not to my knowledge, because he is an elected official in the public eye and that route doesn't appeal to him for privacy reasons.
At these times, he doesn't want to get together as much, is sullen if we do, and doesn't laugh or smile as he normally would.
I would like to know how coaching would help me cope with this?
Whether I should ride it out or just not see him during these periods? When his trouble is over, he is no longer moody and things are good between us again.
Any advice appreciated.
He is right now being threatened that he may not have his elected job due to downsizing of population of his district. I am hoping for some ideas of how to be supportive of him throught this without getting hurt (which I am) myself.
Thanks
Nadine
Answer Hi Nadine,
It sounds like you have a very strong relationship fundamentally but his mood swings are obviously taking their toll on you.
I think coaching could help you identify what YOU really need at these times. In relationships it is of course very important that we are there for our partner, that they know they can rely on us for support and that they can trust us. However, in doing this we sometimes put our own needs last.
I would want to support you in discovering how to get YOUR needs met at these times. As you say it may be better not to be with him when he is feeling down. But what can you do for yourself during these periods so that you are not simply waiting at home, worrying about him? Having someone to talk this through with whose only job is to support you could also be hugely valuable to you
Putting yourself first is very difficult for most of us. But if you do this then you will be stronger and that can only be good for both you you and for the relationship in general.
I can offer you a free coaching session if you like. Just call me on 020 8752 1159 to arrange a convenient time. The coaching takes place by phone so it doesn't matter where you are based. Look forward to hearing from you, Blaire.
