About Rhyn Essence Expertise I can freely answer all questions relating to internet cyber-relationships, given the emotional turmoil and complete euphoria that this subject entails at different times.
Experience Ahem! I have been upon both sides of a very rickerty fence.
Likewise in reality I have had to deal with a wide range of personal issues in my life having two failed marriages behind me and a definate third on the way. As a result of meeting my true spiritual twin in an online chatroom I am now the happiest that I have ever been in my entire life.
I am very much aware of social and domestic problems that exist for all couples regardless of their circumstances.
Expert: Rhyn Essence Date: 5/25/2001 Subject: Why did he do it?
Question I caught my hubby having cyber-sex and though he denies it I know he's been phoning her too. Am I at fault here or is our marriage?
Answer Hi Fran,
Well in order to answer your question without asking you too many personal details I'm going to have to offer some possible causes and effects.
If your husband is highly sexed and these days he doesn't demonstrate this to you...then I suspect that he is suffering some undefined emotional stress which makes him need to masturbate in order to get relief. There is the chance that he may be highly sexed and has always sought additional relief in this manner...masturbation...I mean. Its perfectly normal provided its always been his personal preference but you'd be aware of this.
Cyber-sex provided its kept within certain boundaries is a safer alternative to 'playing around' its basically no different to having fantasies about someone else whilst making love to your partner, a deed that most of us have experienced from time to time. It in itself does not indicate that there's anything lacking in a relationship except perhaps a little excitement.
The boundaries of cyber-sex as a safer alternative have to include trust, honesty and a lack of emotional commitment to the other cyber partner. Sadly most of us are not strong enough to keep our emotional needs seperate and this is an area that needs to be looked at very carefully. The human need to express ourselves by bringing more of our personal character into an online relationship usually leads to attraction though not always by both cyber partners.
If you have evidence from a phone bill that he has been calling her then you really need to address this problem at its source which is actually the cyber act itself and not any suspected marriage problems. Its interesting to note that you are asking me whether you have these problems and not simply detailing what is wrong with your relationship.
This is a very difficult question to ponder without knowing a great deal more about your personal circumstances. Understandably you may prefer to seek marriage guidence from a professional but before you do at least try talking to each other. Otherwise please feel free to send me further details concerning your problem and I will try to resolve this for you.
Regards
