AboutDaniel Reynolds Riveiro Expertise I can answer questions about Ukrainian places of interests and activities, including extreme sports like climbing, skiing and multi-sport racing (yes, they have them in Ukraine). I can also answer questions about Ukrainian culture, customs, language, politics and dating.
Experience I am a Peace Corps Volunteer currently living in Ukraine
Question thanks for that, but we aren't technically going out , yet, is there any particular way i can "woo" her? is there some thing i should about treating her friends. would randomly bringing her flowers to her be a bit out of place considering we aren't dating yet? is there a set way to ask her out? i could really use all the help i can get on this one. what are some big No-No's as far as treating her? should i just go by classic respect? or are there some culturally differences i should be wary of?
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The text above is a follow-up to ...
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i live in America. there is a transfer student here who i really like. but she is from Ukraine. she claims that i don't respect her in the way i should. what are some ways i can be culturally polite to her. how can i respect as HER culture would deem respectable?
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Ben,
The dynamic between Ukrainian men and women is a lot like it ws in the 1950s in America. Ukrainian men ALWAYS bring flowers on a date (always an odd number; even numbers are bad luck). They choose where they will go on a date, take a woman's coat, open the door for her, hold her chair, compliment her, and pay for everything. Also, there is not a lot of nonmonogomous dating in Ukraine. From the first date, guys and girls will only date each other until they stop dating (that said, cheating is also fairly common). This does not apply to everyone, but it is the general standard. The most common date in Ukraine is to go for a walk and talk. So bring her an odd number of flowers and take her for a walk. Without more information I don't know what she means by "respect". Hope this helps.
Answer I remember asking all these questions when I first got to Ukraine two years ago and now feel silly I asked them at all. If I have learned anything it's that ultimately Ukrainian women shouldn't be treated any "differently" than American women. Ukrainian men treat women differently from the way American men do, but that is one of the reasons American men are so popular in Ukraine. If she's in America she's probably even more interested in western values and will want to be treated as an equal (as in America) rather than an object (which is often the case in Ukraine).
That said:
A) You don't have to do anything with respect to her friends. If they like you, it helps, but ultimately it probably won't matter.
B)There is never a wrong time to give flowers to a Ukrainian girl. Bring her three and ask her to go for a walk. If you want to be slick, ask her in Ukrainian: (Hochesh huliate zi mnoiyu?). If she says yes, she's interested. If she says she is busy, ask when she's not. If she's hesitant coming up with another time, she's not interested. It doesn't mean anything's wrong with you, it just means you're not her type.
C) There aren't any particular "no"s save treat her with respect. Generally you shouldn't try to kiss her on the first date, but if she accepts a second it means you're together and kiss away.
D) It couldn't hurt to read up on Ukraine. "Borderland" and "An Unexpected Nation" are two good histories and would give you a good base to ask her questions. She'll probably be really happy to tell you all about Ukraine, her hometown, her family, etc, so ask, ask, ask. Plus, she'll probably be impressed if you have some real knowledge and have a real interest in the country.
