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Urology/Penis size and how its keeping me from enjoying life


QUESTION: Hello Dr. Stephen W. Leslie,
  As you can tell from the title that i am struggling with issues regrading my penis size and how its keeping me from fully enjoying the great aspects of life. If you don't mind I would like to explain how this all started. I am a 19 year old male and I have finished puberty about two years ago and it was when I was seventeen that all this started. Seventeen years of age is when i first masterbated and measured my penis which was when it was erect and it came out to be ranging from 5.1-5.6 inchs NON BONE PRESSED and 6.1-6.3 BONE PRESSED. These are still my everyday measurements. Now when I was seventeen i was depressed about my size so what i did was i went to online forums and posted my pictures of my penis and would tell everyone my measurements and then see what everyone thinks, I started getting comments like small penis, God help you, Girls will laugh at you, You cant satisfy any girl and stuff like that. They also told me average is six inches but to me there is no such thing as a true average cause its not like every single penis on this earth was measured so we can come to a conclusion to what is the true average. correct me if i'm wrong. After hearing all those nasty comments it ruined me but i ended up being able to get a girlfriend and she was gorgeous and she was a virgin who didn't care about size and she loved my penis so the relationship was good until it ended about 3 months ago and now i'm back on this and its decreasing my joy in life. I keep thinking to myself that she was a virgin and thats why she was happy with my size cause she didn't have much to compare too. My biggest problem right now is worrying that my measurements aren't truly my measurements. Even though i'm measuring right i still think i'm below 5 inches or worry i am and thats why i keep measuring myself and its hurting me inside and my mind. I keep thinking to myself since i'm a skinny guy if my bone press measurements are even useable during sex. By the way i forgot to mention that my girth is 5-5.1 inches last time i measured.  

I hope its okay for me to send a few pictures so you can evaluate them and then tell me what you think and if i have anything to worry about. The photos on there consists on bone press measurements and non bone press so you aren't confused.

My struggle is also worrying that my next girlfriend isn't going to be a virgin and i wont measure up to her or other men and she will judge my penis size or wont say anything to hurt my feelings. I know size doesn't matter but that doesn't help me feel better cause each vagina comes in different shape and sizes just like penis sizes do so how can i know the next girl i meet is the fit for me or the opposite. I have many many issues concerning this.


Your apparent measurements are within normal limits.  And be aware that too large is as bad and maybe worse than being smaller than average.  It isn't the size that makes the difference.

Also, length is less important than girth.  There is very little extra stimulation from a longer penis to the female partner and many do not like very long penises because of discomfort on the cervix and uterus.  The main areas of sexual sensitivity in the female are just outside and just inside the vagina.  Your girth is normal so it is unlikely your future performance will be below average.  

Your only issue is your anxiety over this so I advise you to try to put it out of your mind.  The advice you got from the online forums is about what you would expect from non-professionals who don't really know.

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QUESTION: Thank you for answering my question and would like to ask a follow up question if that is okay with you. Did you read that new study that just recently came out how that had a certain number of Australian women and made them watch naked pictures of men on the internet and rated what they found attractive and all them came to the conclusion that a male being tall and well endowed is the most attractive. That study is concluding that size does matter to women. Did you see my pictures to make sure i was measuring correctly? When you talk about big penis's hitting the women's uterus and cervix, well since they all come in different shape and sizes then tech bigger would be good for some people correct? About this jelging issue and how i been reading many positive feedback from it and many positive stories about gains and seen it. Wouldn't that mean its okay?


No, I did not review your pictures.  That would be inappropriate in this type of general information forum.

I did nto see the Australian study, but other studies I am familiar with have indicated that the majority of women actually prefer an average size and that girth is more important that length.

The fact that pictures of more well endowed men may be somewhat more attractive to women only indicates what pictures can do.  It's something else when they actually have to deal with it.

Also consider that by the time you are in a position where your female partner can actually see what you have, you are pretty much passed the "attractive" stage.

While it's true that women's anatomy are also in different shapes and sizes, the fact remains that the longer the penis, the more likely it is to encounter, press or pressure the cervix.

Regarding jelking, please review numerous postings on this forum with many, many, many men indicating long term injuries to the penis involving ED or nerve damage or both from jelking.  The penile anatomy is limited by the length of the unstretchable and inelastic membranes covering the erection bodies.  In the unlikely event you are actually able to stretch them, you risk injury to the erection process and to the delicate nerves and arteries of the penis which do not stretch.

The fact that you are reading stuff on the internet saying it's OK to do jelking does not mean it's acceptable.  Proceed at your own risk, but we strongly recommend that you forget about jelking.

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QUESTION: It would help me a lot better if you could review my pictures but if you can't due to this site then it's a rule you and I have to follow even though it would help me better. What happens if I women sees my erect penis and ends up saying I can't feel it, it's too small or she laughs? I understand she isn't the one but that would lower my self esteem greatly and what would you recommend for a guy like me who is so caught up in this anxiety and is lowering his esteem? I'm also a Christian and wanna wait to have sex until marriage now and trying to hold off with masterbating. How do I come to terms with my size and to love it the way it is? Also which forum on here would be appropriate to review my pictures and I don't think I wanna do the excerises cause I don't wanna take the risk of injuring myself.


In the unlikely event that you at a point with a female partner who then indicates disappointment with your anatomy, you will undoubtedly be quite embarrassed and hurt and that relationship is obviously doomed.  However, be aware that most women are sufficiently knowledgeable about how such comments affect their male partners and so they are quite unlikely to actually say things that are so potentially hurtful.  There is no way to eliminate the possibility of a negative comment from the female partner either relating to your performance of your anatomy, but that's life and it makes no difference how large the penis might be.

Becoming comfortable with what God has given you is outside the scope of this forum.  You may do better talking with your clergy or a psychologist.

There is no forum on this site that will review your pictures for the purpose of giving you an assessment or reassurance.  We only answer general questions here.

Good luck.  


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Stephen W. Leslie, MD


Questions concerning erectile dysfunction, kidney stones and prostate disorders including prostate cancer. I have a special interest in kidney stone disease prevention.


Full time practicing urologist with 30 years experience. Associate Professor of Surgery and Chief of Urology at Creighton University Medical Center. Editor in Chief of eMedicine Urology internet textbook. Author of only NIH approved book written for patients by a urologist on the subject of kidney stones "The Kidney Stones Handbook". Inventor of the "Parachute" and "Escape" kidney stone baskets and the "Calculus" stone prevention analysis computer program.

American Urological Association, Ohio State Medical Association, Sexual Medicine Society

Men's Health, Journal of Urology, Urology, Healthwatch Magazine, Emergency Medicine Monthly, eMedicine, "The Kidney Stones Handbook", and numerous articles in various newspapers. He is also the editor of the Urology Board Review by McGraw-Hill used by urologists to study for their Board Certification Examinations.

Graduate of New York Medical College with residencies completed at Metropolitan Hospital New York, Albany Medical Center and University of Wisconsin-Madison.

Awards and Honors
Thirlby Award of the American Urological Association. Rated as one the country's Best Urologists by the Independent Consumer's Research Institute

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