Expert: Jim Meadows - 2/25/2004

Question
Dear Jim,

My 20-year-old son is living at home while he works a full-time job and attends technical school full-time.  He is completely responsible for his own schooling costs, as well as car insurance, payments on the one unsubsidized school loan, etc.  We can offer “room and board” and help in emergencies, but that's it.  (His younger sister will be starting college in the fall.  She, too, will be totally responsible for the costs of her schooling, and will also be living here while working and going to school 20+ miles away.)

When my son got his first job as a paperboy at age 14 I started him with a savings account at a branch of the only bank in town that hadn't yet been robbed.  (This is the TRUTH, and was at his request.)  The rule was that at least ˝ of every paycheck go into the account.  When he graduated from high school at 18, he closed the savings account and opened his own checking account, with an ATM access card.  Even though we had nothing to do with his checking account, his mail from the bank still comes to the house with both his, and my, name on it.  He doesn't seem to mind, but I'm wondering why that wasn't automatically changed?  Is there any advantage to keeping my name on his account?  

My real question is about how he conducts his banking business, whether it could lead to any problems.  I'm very methodical in how I write checks, going from one to the next one in the book.  My son, however, due to constantly misplacing his checkbook, has been writing checks from three different books.  He also doesn't keep track of the checks he has written.  Between the job and work he has no time to spend his money, and sometimes doesn't even have time to deposit his paychecks.  He'll take maybe 3-4 paychecks at a time when he does finally go, which his workplace has made comments about.  There really isn't any danger of insufficient funds, however I am still concerned.   This is not a problem while he's living at home, but when he gets his own apartment, and pays all his own bills, I can see these bad habits having very bad consequences in the future!

His checkbooks have a separate register (or whatever it's called).  I'm thinking about taking him back to the bank and having him order checks with the “tab” either at the one end of the check, or at the top.  I think he'd be more inclined to keep track if everything was right there.  

Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.  I realize this isn't a world-shaking problem but as his mother I feel that I've failed in some way to impress upon him how important it is to conduct banking business the correct way!  

Thanks for your time.  Take care!

Sincerely,
Ralphine  

Answer
Dear Worried Mom, One thing you haven't done is fail you son. Most parents, me includeded would be pround to have such an independent hard working son. I would advise however that you consider changing the account to just your son's name. This is never automatically done by the bank.

Your son will have to figure out on his own, how he wants to manage his account. Most banks offer internet access to bank info. Many young people never look at paper just info from the net re their account.... You're right about "top stub" check books. I think they are easier.

Sounds like you've done a great job. Remember the reason we raise kids is so we can kick them out of the nest. Sounds like he's flying just fine. Good Going, Jim