AboutMark Behar Expertise Almost any question or concern about sexually transmitted infections, abnormal Pap smears, anal cytology (anal "Pap smears"), gay men's health issues.
There is no such thing as “d/d free” or “clean” (free of infection), so why do so many of us deceive ourselves into thinking that some people are indeed totally free from a potentially infectious disease, like HIV, herpes, hepatitis, syphilis, chlamydia, warts, gonorrhea, etc., just because they say so? Clinical laboratory tests are not perfect, and having a “negative” or “nonreactive” test does not mean that a person is free from infection. Perhaps at the moment the test was taken, the person was uninfected; or, perhaps, the test wasn’t sensitive enough to detect presence of the infection. There is really no way that anyone can determine that they are truly “disease free,” and there are over a hundred of infectious conditions that can be spread without your knowing anything.
Rather than trying to “prescreen” or “serosort” a potential sex-mate with deceptive questions that are impossible to know by today’s technologies, a wiser option may be to consider everyone infected with something, and either use appropriate protective measures (“safer sex”), or accept the responsibility and conseqences of possibly “catching” something from someone who’s hotter than expected (pun intended!).
There is much research that supports the contention that an HIV positive person reliably taking HIV medications, and having an undetectable viral load, presents a lower risk for transmission of HIV than people who may think or say they are HIV negative, but are not. Food for thought!
Experience Family Practice PA since 1981;
Volunteer Clinician for Brady East STD (BESTD) Clinic, Milwaukee, since 1977; answer STD questions submitted to their web site.
Professionally lectured at national and regional Physician Assistant and Nurse Practitioner conferences, and at national gay & lesbian health conferences on topics including HIV/AIDS, herpes, hepatitis, STDs, human papilloma virus (the cause of venereal warts), abnormal Pap smears, gay and lesbian health issues, among others.
Organizations Co-Founder, Lesbian, Bisexual, & Gay Physician Assistant Caucus of the American Academy of Physician Assistants, Inc.;
Wisconsin Academy of Physician Assistants;
American Society of Colposcopy and Cervical Pathology (ASCCP); Board of Directors, National Association of Black and White Men Together: A Gay, Multiracial Organization for All People (NABWMT)
Publications Journal of the American Academy of Physician Assistants (JAPA)
Education/Credentials Physician Assistant Certified, since 1982;
Masters in Physician Assistant Studies;
Colposcopy Recognition Award, American Society of Colposcopy and Cervical Pathology (ASCCP);
Awards and Honors Colposcopy Recognition Award (CRA), from the American Association of Colposcopy and Cervical Pathology;
Distinguished Fellow, American Academy of Physician Assistants;
Fellow, Wisconsin Academy of Physician Assistants
Past/Present Clients Brady East STD Clinic, Milwaukee, WI
Question QUESTION: hey i need some help so me and my girlfriend want to have sex but were both afraid of something going to happen pregnancy(not so much) but like STD and STI and all that other insurable things i mean like i have condoms and all but i dont think i can get some birth control pills cuz they are prescribed not like get them off the counter and yeah...and were both virgins and like what are the risks really if i did use my condoms correctly and like everything went well you could say what are risk of diseases?
ANSWER: Hello Binh,
Since you both live in the US, you may wish to look in a phone book for the nearest Planned Parenthood Clinic; if you live in a city, there is a high likihood that one exists nearby. Depending on the laws of your state, you and/or your partner may be able to get a health exam, condoms, good advice, as well as an effective method of birth control. Many states allow even teenagers to get such services without your parents knowing, however, it is always a good idea to communicate with an understanding parent, grandparent, or older family member (sister, auntie, godmother) about such things.
Condoms are a fairly good, but not perfect way to prevent both pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. They are certainly better than nothing! But if you or your partner are free from infectious diseases or germs, then you can't spread anything if you don't have anything!!
It really requires a great deal of communication so that both of you know exactly what the other one means. For instance, you mentioned you were both "virgins." Some people define "virgin" as never having traditional penis into vagina sex. So having oral sex means you are still a virgin, yet oral sex (mouth to genitals) may still place you at risk for STI. If you have a fever blister/cold sore (caused by the herpes virus), and you have oral sex with your "virgin" partner, that person is at very high risk of developing genital herpes, even though they may never have had sexual intercourse (penis into vagina).
One last thing about condoms. When you wear one, the condom will ride up to the mid shaft of the penis, exposing that skin to any infectious germs from your partner, if they have any. The rubber may also cause some rubbing of the pubic hair, which can increase the irritation and possible skin infection.
The worst possible consequence of early sex, of course is not a STI, even like herpes, hepatitis, wart virus (which is associated with cancer of the cervix in women), or HIV/AIDS. It is unplanned pregnancy. That not only affects your life and your partner's life, but also the life of a new baby, that will take 20 years to grow up and become fairly independent! If you were to get gonorrhea or another STI, you may become embarrassed, have to get treatment, etc., but there will be few memories of it 20 years from now!! Not so for a kid!
Good luck!
--mark
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QUESTION: So me and my girlfriend are both virgins no sexual activity and were sure we dont have STD or any of that....and we have protected sex which means like there is no chance of anything bad happening right?
Answer Hi Again, Binh,
If you and your partner are totally without any infections, then it is impossible for either of you to catch something. Wearing condoms adds another level of protection.
Being "virgins" has nothing to do with anything. Like I explained above, being a "virgin" means different things to different people.
I cannot tell you whether "anything bad" will happen. If the condom breaks and your partner is not using any other method of birthcontrol, and she gets pregnant, that, in my opinion, would be "very, very, bad." If something unexpected or unanticipated that would happen, that could also be "bad."
I cannot give you 100% certainty that everything will work out withou a problem. It is highly likely that everything will indeed be okay, but there are no guarantees.
