Expert: Christopher Pinckley, cpt - 10/19/2008

Question
hello

hope you  wide your chest for reading my crises , I m someone who live in imaginations & contemplations , searching for truth , meaning , create solutions , results , deductions for anything happening around him , sometimes I separate from mine to other person imagine talking with moon,sea,trees,flower,insects , expect disaster , thinking in development , social issues more than myself , awe musical ear accompanying me in all situations , incidents happened to me , noticed that I compose some tones using my piano without learning anything in music ,   don't think in money as something satisfy some personal expenses where it is in majority to tiny , but I believe that's too necessary , also when I was study engineer I was too proficient in math,physics,mechanics sciences also design theories more than practical applications using my hand or any body effort specially that my health is too weak , I like planning for something more than executions , later I detected that the above feeling translate as an artist that's my own deduction need your opinion in that  , really I start to create poems , stories , plays , screen plays but I still beginner really , so I couldn't let that being my lifestyle income until being prof & well known , if there is no constraints I may devote my life for writing comics,stories,plays,screenplays,compose music , directing short & documentary movies in my opinions that's not dispersion because all classified as an arts , but that's against to cruel life we live , so my problem is whats the job may be suitable for me , from your opinion according to what I describe myself , who I m ? , m I a failure person , disturbed as people & my family told me , or what ?

you will said to me you are an engineer why you didn't try to work for awhile until getting what you want , I tried that before , from the first day my passion let me try to re correct bad systems , want to create new solution which lead to my colleagues jealousy moreover each day pass when being employer I feel with something lose on my life , feeling tired exhausted , also I hate work in practical things so I resigned from my work

sorry for prolong but need comments , interpretations about what I feel , because I afraid being sick or live in illusion suggestions   

noticed that I m not US or canda residnet

Answer
Hello friend,
it seems to me as if there are a couple of things happening here.  The first thing we should discuss is the "time period" right now in the Earth.  This particular time period has many people all over the world questioning their lives and their reality.  It is a very stressful time, but also one which the Earth needs.  We are evolving into a higher version of ourselves.  However, this process is rather painful and some of the syptoms of this growth include the things that you mentioned in your letter to me.  Just know that you are not alone, many people are experiencing the exact same pain.

Now, to address some the issues here.  I think a good place to start is with creating "healthy boundaries".  The first thing about boundaries is realizing that you have something worth protecting.  Your own space is worth protecting.  Your right to have an opinion, to feel, to have a personal physical space around you, all of that is worth protecting.  It's ok to tell someone "no" or to tell someone that you are "not interested, thank you".  If someone asks you what you are doing it's ok to tell them that you are not intested in sharing right now.  You don't have to be rude, but you also don't have to go out of your way to provide a reason to say "no" to someone.  It's your right.

Another part of boundaries is "external validation".  A lot of people with boundary issues are always seeking approval or acceptance from someone.  This leaves you wide open for someone to walk in and take your power.  And, people will do this.  A person is going to give you the same level of respect that you give yourself.  They will do it without conscious awareness that they are even doing it, or "unconsciously".  So, become aware if you are asking your coworkers or family members, or friends, or anyone at all-what you should do, or how you should do it?

I feel like a good next step for you could be to just decide that you are undecided.  If you are having difficulty deciding about what you would like to do with your life, or life direction, then that's ok.  But, BE ok with it.  Do you understand my meaning here?  I am saying to consciously choose that you are undecided about what you want with your life.  This will provide a lot of freedom for you.  Because if you can do this, then you can completely create a new version of you.  Now that you know you don't know, decide to do whatever is right in front of you.

Deciding upon something, anything, is very powerful-and will "empower" you.  I feel like this could be the biggest lesson of all for you, is Empowerment.  Realizing that it's ok to be powerful and that it's ok to tell people to 'step back'.  I could be wrong here, this is just what I'm getting.

Anyway, let me know how it goes!