AboutKerry D Sim Expertise I help people become clear about what they say they want, and hopefully clear about why they are not getting it. I do not answer questions like "How do I make a million dollars?" or "Where do I find my soul-mate?" or "What is the perfect job or career for me?" I also don't do "romance" question, like "What shall I do if my boyfriend/girlfriend confuses me? I don't understand my lover, what shall I do? I will answer questions from people who find themselves unclear, or confused about their purpose in life. I also help folks with limiting frameworks, beliefs, and emotional blocks that keep them stuck doing the same things over and over, while expecting different results.
Experience Have been a personal development coach for 7 years. Trained in Energy Techniques, including Provocative Energy Technique. Considerable, and varied personal life experience, and have created a very practical relationship workshop, complete with effective communication tools. I specialize in hearing and speaking the truth, and it is unimportant in the process whether you like the truth as it exists, or not.
Education/Credentials Coach training from Coachville.com school of coaching. Energy techniques training via Emofree.com and EFT Downunder. Life experience and training from many full years of living on this planet. I also have a certain amount of formal education, which, as far as I am concerned, is not necessarily pertinent to this endeavor.
Question Good day,
I was wondering how does a shy, avoidant, withdrawn 32 year old man who has lost all of his life, no friends but intelligent, genuine and of good character become a GO GETTER.
How does one become a GO GETTER?
How does one carry about himself that people take him seriously and believe him?
Answer Hi Sam,
Short answer is to simply change your mind about who you are.
Henry Ford once said: "If you think you can, or you think you can't, you are right."
So far you say you are a "shy, avoidant, withdrawn 32 year old man who has lost all of his life, no friends..."
So you are right about that.
In addition, you say you are "...intelligent, genuine and of good character..." - you are right about that too.
Do you notice that the first description is external, about ways you act; and the second is internal, more like values, or your ways of being inside? Interesting that your actions are not very congruent with your way of being.
So to reply to your first question: How to become a GO GETTER? Before even starting down that path, I suggest you clarify at least two things with yourself:
1) What does GO GETTER mean to you? Be as specific as possible.
2) Do you think/believe you can become one? Do your values support such a change?
Re: your second question, how to get people to take you seriously and believe in you... well, truthfully that isn't even your concern. There is no possible way you can convince, force, manipulate people to do this.
People will take you seriously and believe in you when you take yourself seriously and believe in yourself. As long as you act victim-like (as you are doing with the description you have provided in this note) people will treat you like a victim. It is that simple.
People will believe that which you transmit about yourself.
And from what I am reading here, you are transmitting shyness, withdrawl, avoidance, and victimhood.
Not many people are going to be attracted to that kind of energy. Some may, but I suspect that when you have attracted that kind of person in the past, your genuine intelligence and good character found the relationship untenable... maybe even toxic. Am I right?
Anyway, my simple answer is: find some clarity about what you really mean by GO GETTER, what is standing in your way of changing, and own some truth and acceptance about your fears.
Shyness, avoidance, withdrawl = fear of something - right? If you know what it is (your fear) acknowledge it, accept it, and choose to let it go. If you don't, or don't want to know, I'd suggest you do some work on it.
If you don't let this kind of stuff go, you will delay (or prevent) yourself from becoming the GO GETTER you say you want to be, and you will continue to resist accepting and believing in yourself in general.
If you are interested in working with me as your coach around finding this clarity, send me another note follow up. I will provide you with a link to my website, and a schedule of my fees.
