AboutJacky Tustain Expertise If you are feeling lost in some aspect of your current life I can help you work out what you want or need and then give advice as to the next steps you will need to take to get there.
Experience I am a practising Life Coach in the UK and specialise in helping people rediscover themselves and what they are looking for in their lives.
Organizations IAC
Publications I regularly write articles for various websites and my own blog.
Question hello jacky my name is antoine and im a 31 year old guy with a wife and two kids and i feel like such a loser because my wife is the mostly bread winner of the house i work part time for fed -ex i tried almost everything i went to school to get my cdl to drive 18 wheelers graduated but most jobs want u to leave your family to get experience so my wife didnt lke that and me neither now im 5000 in debt with no driving job i was looking for something local tuff right now so im always on the internet looking for jobs everyday and they had a casino dealer class open they make good money but i think im about to get cut i went thru the interview process and made it to get cut i just want to cry i try so hard i want a good career to make my family proud i dont know what to do i have a good wife i need help before it gets to late please help me im living in shreveport louisiana i just want to do good thats all i have no crinamal record or nothing why is it so hard i try try try please help thank you
Answer Hi Antoine,
Well, first of all, there is hope. You have hit a bit of a rough spot in your life and just need to take stock, re-evaluate and work out a plan to take yourself forward? Sounds easy, well it is easy in theory but it may not be in practise.
Lets take a look at what you have got (and some positive things to focus on). You have a loving wife and kids. You have some work. You have a qualification that you worked hard to get.
Considering the driving work, did you discuss or realise that you would have to work away to get the experience? If it is to get experience, how long is it for and would it be worth thinking about doing it for the short term? Would you and your wife be willing to make that sacrifice so that you can regain your self respect and pride? Even if it is for a year or two would that be so bad if it meant you earned good money and your wife didn't have to work so hard? Sometimes you have to make sacrifices to get what you want in the long term but if you can see the bigger picture and know it is not for ever it can be worth it. Bearing in mind the financial investment you have made to get to this point it seems that a little more personal investment may make sense. If your current options look bleak, taking some driving work while you research other options may be your best option.
If the driving work really is not for you, both from your perspective and your wife's then you need to reconsider what you would like to do with your life. First of all, accept the money spent as gone. You need to pay off your debts, but you can learn a lesson from this mistake and now you need to move on. No-one was hurt, nothing illegal has been done and as a human you are entitled to make mistakes as that is how you grow in yourself. Who knows, the skills are still there and perhaps you will find a way to use them in the future.
As for the future. Looking for work can be hard. Especially if your skills and experience are limited. However it will be harder if you go out looking like a man with low confidence and esteem, desperate for any work. Neediness scares people off. They will think there is something wrong, so tuck that feeling away.
Have you sorted out a good resume? If not spend some time creating a good one, there is plenty of advice on the web about how to do this. Make sure you sell yourself well, this is your ticket through the door to work. By working through your resume you will take stock of your good points and your achievements, you will become aware of what a good, hard-working, dependable and honest guy you are. This should lift your spirits in itself. Bear in mind you can create different versions of your resume for different types of work.
Remember in your search that you have needs as well as the employer, consider them carefully before applying for any job.
Search for work everywhere - newspapers, internet, work agencies (I assume you have them in the states?). Get a list of local employers and send a copy of an appropriate resume with a good covering letter to them asking if they have any vacancies. Talk to your friends and associates, let everyone know you are looking for work. Work found through your 'network' is more common than you realise.
While you look for full-time employment keep yourself busy. Look after yourself - exercise, keep a good routine going, eat sensibly and don't drink too much. Take the pressure of your wife by helping more around the house and with the kids. Tell her you want to help some more and ask what she would be happy for you to do. If the job hunting, housework and your part-time work still don't keep you busy find some voluntary work, apart from the reward received by giving to others, this sometimes can lead to other things - you never know!
