Expert: Kerry D Sim - 6/1/2009

Question
I'm extremely confused and down about career, life, purpose, etc. I'm so totally lost I don't know where to start. I took a career test only to find out the jobs I thought I was great at are totally against my inner workings. You said, "I work with folks willing to accept responsibility for their own choices, and to face what is true, whether they like the truth or not. If you don't know how to do this, you have come to the right place - I can help.", That is me so I guess my questions are: how do I find a career and succeed, how do I find my life's purpose, how do I set and achieve goals? Thanks! :)

Answer
Bob,
There are three separate questions here, and they are all rather more complex than can be answered effectively in this kind of forum.

That being said, here are some thoughts...

Since you took a career test and found out that the jobs you might be great at go against your "inner workings" - my question is, "What is more important to you - satisfying your inner workings or taking a job that will (presumably) allow you to succeed at a career?

Also, perhaps you might take some time to define what "career" and "succeed/success" means to YOU. Tell yourself the truth, do not allow other people's voices (family, friends, authority figures) to influence what your inner self really means by these concepts. This will likely be a challenge since there are probably any number of folks suggesting (telling) what would be good for you.

When/if you get a clear answer about YOUR idea of career/success, pursue it. Simple as that.

This comes under the heading of "accepting responsibility for yourself, and facing what is true."

Same applies, by the way, to any other choice. For example, should you choose to pursue a career in one of those jobs that go against your "inner workings" in order to make a living, or build up financial resources, or whatever, that too would be a choice and you must accept responsibility for making it, and the results that flow from the choice.

Whatever choice you make, take the position "This is the best choice I am willing to make at this time, with this information, and the resources I have at the moment." Not only is this a way to accept responsibility, it happens to be true (and it matters not whether you "like" it or not. The truth ain't always what we like!

And, another truth: every choice has a cost. It is called "opportunity cost". Make one choice, take one fork in the road, and you give up the opportunity to travel the other fork. People (are you one?) tend to paralyze themselves and become indecisive because they fear the "opportunity cost" (opportunity LOST?) of the road not taken.

In my judgment that simply means one has CHOSEN to paralyze oneself. Indecision itself is a choice.. and that too has a cost, and more of a double whammy cost because NO road is chosen.

In any case, whatever the choice, (even indecision) it is your responsibility to accept the results, and in the best case scenario, learn from the experience, move on the information you get about yourself, and continue making choices and accepting results (whether you like them or not). At some point you will learn what habits, motivations and even what blocks and fears you use to guide you when making choices.

In the worst case scenario, you will be confused and probably frustrated for awhile then have the opportunity to "learn from the experience, move on the information you get about yourself, and continue making choices and accepting results (whether you like them or not). At some point you will learn what habits, motivations and even what blocks and fears you use to guide you when making choices. "

This falls under the category of clarifying your "inner workings."

And this in itself, this gaining knowledge about your own inner workings, is actually a great result for you (and anyone) to get... and might I add, it is a result well worth the cost of being uncomfortable, down, fearful and whatever else you are reluctant to invest in such an outcome.

It will not necessarily get you a big house, a big car/truck/boat/etc, but it will get you to a place of self awareness and courage in your ability to honor yourself.

Good Luck
Kerry