AboutKerry D Sim Expertise I help people become clear about what they say they want, and hopefully clear about why they are not getting it. I do not answer questions like "How do I make a million dollars?" or "Where do I find my soul-mate?" or "What is the perfect job or career for me?" I also don't do "romance" question, like "What shall I do if my boyfriend/girlfriend confuses me? I don't understand my lover, what shall I do? I will answer questions from people who find themselves unclear, or confused about their purpose in life. I also help folks with limiting frameworks, beliefs, and emotional blocks that keep them stuck doing the same things over and over, while expecting different results.
Experience Have been a personal development coach for 7 years. Trained in Energy Techniques, including Provocative Energy Technique. Considerable, and varied personal life experience, and have created a very practical relationship workshop, complete with effective communication tools. I specialize in hearing and speaking the truth, and it is unimportant in the process whether you like the truth as it exists, or not.
Education/Credentials Coach training from Coachville.com school of coaching. Energy techniques training via Emofree.com and EFT Downunder. Life experience and training from many full years of living on this planet. I also have a certain amount of formal education, which, as far as I am concerned, is not necessarily pertinent to this endeavor.
Question Hello, my name is Mike. I'm 23 years old who is a graduate from Johnson & Wales University with a Fashion Merchandising Degree. The school is located in Charlotte, where I lived for three years. The problem is that I was forced to move back home with my family after I lost my apartment. Things are not going well for me. While living in Burlington, I have to depend on everyone to get me everywhere I need to go. I have no car or driver's license, and there's no public transportation. I live with my parents and siblings. I did everything I could to fix that, but I never can get that much support from my parents or anyone because of their busy lives. I never get to go out and socialize with anyone. I'm always stuck at home. I've lost my independence, my inspiration, and its hard trying to be myself there.
My dream is to move or work in a metro city, well any metro city where there's public transportation, nightlife, and fine dining. I describe myself as an modern/artistic person who loves to cook up gourmet meals, and renovating such as fixing up a home or anything with a new twist. I've also tried moving back to Charlotte, but I have no luck with the job search. I really would like to live in NYC. My recent trip to NYC was just a couple months ago in April. It was my first time there alone. I knew what subways to take and how to catch a cab. I couldn't believe that how quickly I adapted myself there. I believe moving to a metro city would be the best thing for me. It would become my life again. I can regain my independence back, and would become more inspired with my dream goals. This has been going on for years and I don't know how to fix it. How can I have my independence again?
Answer Mike,
You can gain your independence again by making a simple choice. Choose between what you have now and what you say you want.
You say it is "...hard trying to be myself here." Well, it is hard trying to be oneself in most any circumstance. If, as you say moving to any metro city would be the best thing for you, and living with your parents isn't ... what are you going to do about it?
Right now you are acting like a victim. These are victim phrases: " I have to depend on everyone - I was forced to move back home - its hard.."
It looks like you made, and continue to make choices about your life. You were not "forced" to move back, you chose to move back. You do not "have to depend" on everyone, you choose to use others to take you where you want (not "need") to go... and that is because you have, for whatever reason, chosen to not have your own transportation. You continue to choose to remain in a situation where you say it is "hard" rather than moving into a different situation.
Sounds more like you are choosing the situation that is more comfortable, in the sense of familiar, rather than making a choice to bail out and trust that you can handle it. This is not uncommon.. many people make this choice, believing it is better to deal with problems you know than to invite problems you don't know.
To answer your question "How can I have my independence back?" the obvious answer seems to be by simply choosing to be independent. One definition of independent is to make one's own decisions and choices, act on them and accept the results of those actions.
That being said, you may still meet the definition of independent, if you continue to choose to live with your parents, have no driver's license, etc. The only change then is to accept the results of those choices - which from your own description, it appears, you are not.
There's the saying, "Give me the grace to change what I cannot accept, accept what I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference."
