How to Get What You Want in Life/Finding my Purpose

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Question
Hi Mr.Dickeson!

My name is Jessica.  I am a 25 year old recent college grad from Arkansas.  Since my graduation, I have been working as a secretary for a local church.  This isn't exactly what I had in mind for my first "real" job, but, with the tough economy, it was literally the only thing I could find.   

Despite having a job, a nice family and group of friends who support me, and a generally "good" life, I feel like something is missing.  Inside, I have always felt I was meant to do something, but I have been unable to discern what it is I am supposed to do with my life.  This intense feeling of not being complete (for lack of a better word) is very bothersome and makes me feel trapped.  I then get in a cycle of feeling guilty for wanting more, when my life is already so blessed.  I often begin to worry that this feeling of wanting more is just myself being narcissistic.  

How do I find what's missing?  How can I find my true purpose?  

I would greatly appreciate your feedback on the matter.  Thanks so much!

Answer
Hello Jessica!

Congratulations on your graduation and employment. Yes, the economy WAS bad. But it is quickly turning around, for every one.

So what is 'missing' in your career. Well, wanting to know "what" is missing, is a good first step. Many people just accept life as it is given to them, and live day-to-day. They do not know if something is missing, or even what is missing, so they just exist.

The problem with that is people. When you do not know what is missing in your life, others will decide what they believe you want and need, for you. And you may not like what they decide for you.

I look at life as a long road. WHICH road I go down, I can decide, or I can let others decide for me. At age 13, I decided to choose my own road "of life." And being 13, I had absolutely no clue how I was going to even get on my 'road' or how I was going to achieve anything that I wrote down.

And THAT is the first step. Write down! what you want in life. For example; employment. Any one can write down a "title" for a job they believe they want. Until you work the job, how do you know that is the exact job you want. Forget the title; write down, in much detail as possible, the work environment you want. Inside, outside, or a mix of both. Travel, never travel, management, no thanks; want to be independent, and so on and so on.

Next - "share". You get excited, and you want to 'share' what you wrote down with family, friends, co-workers, and so on. The minute they look at what you wrote down, they make sure that they tell you all the reasons why, what you wrote down, will never come true for you.

And then you quit, before you even try.

Happens all the time.

Now, add more to your list. What type of transportation do you want. How do you want to live. Where do you want to live. Don't forget entertainment, vacations, etc, etc. Your goal is to plan your entire life. I even included my death goal; age 120. Right after my birthday. Sure, doubtful, but this is MY goals, not any one else.

As you go through life, you will add more things to your list. I have added more things 3 times over the years. I learned new things, so I added more to my own list.

Next comes the envelope; put what you wrote down in an envelope and date it a year later. Next year, open the envelope and check-off all the things you wrote down that came true for you. Reseal the envelope for another year. And for the rest of your life.

Parts of this that will make you crazy; a calendar. Never works. Everything comes true, but at their own dates. Not yours. And patience. I have had things I wrote down come true quickly, others took weeks, others took months, others took years and years. We all 'want it now.' But that just does not work.

OK, back to my list. I wrote I was going to marry a model.

Right, I was 13 and my parents were poor. Dirt poor. At age 16, I started dating a girl who WAS a model. Other boys did not talk to her. Too pretty. At age 18, 1 month out of high school, we got married. Still married. She still takes 2 hours to get ready every day.

Check....

I wanted to live in a nice and affordable home. We bought a really cheap lot. Paid it off 5 years later. Then the lot was the down payment to qualify to build a house. Over the years we have constantly added on to and remodeled the house. Now it is a wonderful home, not just a house. Everyone around me keeps moving, never satisfied. They do not know what they want.

Career. I had no job skills, at age 18, and no college. I knew I wanted to have an office with a view of a lake, a company car, and business cards. A few years later I am working delivering coca-cola to vending machines. A guy comes up to me at a City department and ask if I would like to work for the city. Paid 5 cents an hour more than my Coke job. My wife and I went to college at night, one class per semester. Shared the book to save the money. 9 years later, we got our college degrees. No loans. I immediately got promoted; office with a view of a lake, business cards, and company car... Worked until age 59, quit, now I am looking for a new career. Don't know WHO I will be working for. But I know what kind of job it will be. Just have to wait....

See how this works?

My goal list is about 80% done. The last 20% will be the best.

Now go out and take control of your life, your future.

Remember; if you do not know where you are going - YOU'VE ARRIVED!  

How to Get What You Want in Life

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David Dickeson, A.S.

Expertise

Since age 13, I have always know what I wanted in life. And with persistance, time, patience, determination, stubbornness, and WRITING DOWN exactly what I wanted in life, I have achieved almost everything I wanted in life. Knowing EXACTLY what you want in life changes everything! You have direction, purpose, and are excited about each day. Other people can 'advise' you, but YOU decide what you want your life to be!

Experience

I retired at age 60. So I sat down to write down the next 60 years of my life. Now I am age 62. Does NOT include going to McDonald's at 7 AM and demanding a free cup of "Senior Coffee." I do not need coffee to live. I have exercising.

Education/Credentials
I have an Associate of Science Degree in General Busines

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