How to Get What You Want in Life/What to do


Hi John,

I need help figuring out what to do in this situation. I've spoken to you before but I can't quite remember why. I think it was about property I own, but I am not sure. I will speak about it again just in case. Ok, I am 26 years old and I live on property that I manage. It was inherited from my grandmother to her three daughters, including my mom. I have been the only one that lived at this place for 5 years and taken care of it with maintenance and other things. I have been in the process of getting the deed transferred into my name from theirs, but it has been a slow process because I haven't been focused too strongly on that, and plus I had to wait to get their consensus for that to be done.

Well now, one of my aunts decides that she wants start living on this property. There is a house that needs repairing and a mobile home that I live in. I had planned to repair the house to move in it, which would be a long process. So, without even considering my needs and preference she has decided she wants to fix up the house and live in it. The house and the mobile home are very close together and shares the same yard. I like my own space and I really would prefer to build a foundation for myself and my life and having an aunt and her two kids or any other relative live that close to me is not ideal.

I have decided before in the past that if she moves on this property, I would move and most likely out of state. The thought of paying rent is not something that I really want to do. The reason I said living out of state is because if I have no roots set down here in my state, then I would rather it be out of state where there are more opportunities than there are here. I have never lived out of state and I've never paid rent so I don't know how financially secure I could be. I own my car outright, I do not have really any other expenses besides a phone and student loans.

What do you think I should do or how should I go about this situation. I am so fed up with my family. I do not want anymore ties to them financially or property wise because of situations like this. I do not want their decisions about things to bleed over into my stuff. Ideally, I'd rather move out of state and not have any ties to them besides just communication.

Thanks John


The first thing I would say is to look for the silver lining in this cloud.  Or as Napoleon Hill, author of Think and Grow Rich said, "In every adversity there is the seed of an equivalent or greater benefit."

I think you have the right to be a bit upset about your aunt suddenly deciding to move onto the property after you have been taking care of it for five years.  It certainly would have been better to have anticipated something like this an prepared for it by having a written agreement.  But there is nothing that can be done about that.  I believe absent some written agreement, your aunts probably have the right to move on and or exercise their ownership rights to the property.

So there are two possibilities.  First, if you really like the property and want to stay there by yourself - it being your own property, the best solution is to buy out your mother and your aunts.  I don't know what the property is worth, but I believe you could arrange some financing on it and buy them out.  I would only suggest that if you have a very strong desire to remain there and the price is right.  I see no reason to over-pay for the property.  This would give you the clear right to do as you wish  with the property and you could maintain your privacy.  You don't mention if you have siblings or what your mother wants to do.  If your mother has no interest in the property, you would only need to buy out your other two aunts.  But this is only if  you have a very strong desire to live there.

Back to my original thought.  Examine this event for the silver lining.  You do not sound like you are doing that much with your life.  You have a student loan, so I am assuming you went to college. Are you working to your full potential?  You mention moving to where there are more opportunities.  Have you given any strong consideration to where you might want to live?  What are the employment opportunities for your chosen field in other areas?  

I think at times being uprooted can be a very good thing.  We often get in a rut and won't take action because there is nothing to spark a move.  You are now faced with an uncomfortable situation.  I would view this as an opportunity to explore the other opportunities that are available to you.

You have never paid rent, but I would not let that stand in your way.  If you don't step out and take a chance you will never know how far you could go or how much fuller your life could be.  You are young, have almost no "baggage" in the form of debt, obligations, etc.  Now is the very best time to see what possibilities lie beyond West Virginia.  

I would seriously exam the ties you have to West Virginia.  If they are not that strong, now is an excellent time to look for other areas that offer more potential.  Life is much fuller when we challenge ourselves to accomplish more.  This sounds to me like a perfect opportunity to get out and see what where you might find more meaning in your life.

Please follow up to let me know any additional questions or thoughts.


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John Chancellor


How to set and achieve goals, how to find your major purpose in life and the power of focused action. Why you need an emotional attachment to give you the drive necessary to achieve goals.


Coach and trainer. Author Lessons In Life.

Business degree, certified coach

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