How to Get What You Want in Life/Why can't I pursue my dream?
How come I keep watching tutorials + youtube videos vs actually starting to make beats / songs myself?!?
For the past 4 years or so, I've bought and sold and bought and sold the latest and greatest in audio production software, along with many pieces of hardware for producing beats (hip-hop)...
I've been in the vicious cycle of watching all the tutorials I can for each DAW / software I've bought and tons of youtube videos of people using them...then something new comes out and I sell and buy it and repeat the process!
But for the first 1-2 years I was mainly watching youtube videos of tons of people making beats ,etc...
I do not have musical training and do not know much at all in terms of theory, etc...
My main question is why would I not have just started making any beats at any point along the way with any of these DAW's or hardware? Why couldn't I have made a few beats here and there? Why was I so stuck on the tutorials and watching other people for all these years?!
Where was (is) that desire to get my "feet wet" or "hands dirty" and just dive in?!!
I mean, I didn't even make a solid completed song in 3-4 years?!! Just a couple bars here and there...why?!?
It's been the greatest desire and gravitational pull I ever had towards anything, but I never actually started?!?! If it's my greatest dream ever, why not start? Why would I have wasted all these years "learning" and not applying anything? Biggest mystery ever for me. Any intellectual / physiological insight would be GREATLY appreciated!
When we 'work' toward our dreams, we have to do something we would not think of doing;
Work toward our dreams, not toward a 'label.'
It sounds like to me that you want to be directly involved with the technical aspect of making great music. Thus the reason for purchasing all those various machines that you have bought over the years. Also the reason why you are not writing songs. That is the goals of others in your profession.
Singers need a lot of people behind the scenes to make them look good, and sound good. I believe you are on the right direction. Just need to modify your goals.
Hope this helps. Have a great day.