How to Get What You Want in Life/Indecision


Dear sir
I am not able to decide whether I should marry a working girl or a non working one.
and that indecision is there since many years and I am 36 now.
My mother keeps on throwing one after other rishta on me but I keep refusing. My state of mind is very confusion and I am freezed. Now since past six months, I don't talk to anyone mostly. I don't call home unless I get call from them.  
Marriage is the most important thing for me now but I keep delaying decision on this. I might lose good offers (might have already lost many). Life is a hell. Always anxiety of not taking decision. I am not able to take good care of myself due to this. My room looks like dustbin. I feel guilty about all the offers that i have rejected without even talking to these abt of these girls.   

I have a girl in mind who has better education than me, but when I think of talking to her, I am like I am doing injustice to  others.
Possibility of proposing or approaching one acts against the possibility of approaching other. That has made me freeze with days paying by fast and Mr living like day to day survival mode only. Eating food also feels like repetitive work. I feel hugely bored as there is no change in life and I am not doing what I should do. I am not courageous. I am not taking action.

Whosoever is on matrimonial site or whosoever I know, attraction to one of them is deterrence against attraction to other.I want to approach above only when I am sure that i can marry the person. It is like i have to choose among two or more good options.
What do  i do in such kind of situation.

Because of this stuck situation, my life is on halt and I am not able to do things that I want. I want to read more, I want to learn physics,
I want to travel, drive car and develop other skills but everything is on back burner as marriage is the most imp thing now.

I have almost abandoned taking calls from friends, relatives as naturally even asks about marriage. And how long I can say I am not able to decide. My self esteem also suffers when I am like pending
a decision for so long.

I can be high acheiver if i fix this one issues of marriage as I am very insecure about finding the right person.
I am quite knowledgeable, doing well in career but seems that this one
Issue of marriage is solve, I will be able to unlock my potential as my
Carnal needs come in my way of acheiving my full potential.

Please suggest solution

I am also confused with your confusion.
Your query start with "marrying a working or non working girl" then it moved to "how to stop delaying marriage" and then moved to "how to get married to a girl you want".

In short: marriage is always a gamble especially arrange marriage. You can not judge a person in 5-10min. Do not delay your marriage. Make a list of your liking or disliking and also a list of your hobbies/interest.. Talk to girls, you and your parents interested in and discuss your liking/interests. The girl you find as a close match with your interest is right for you.

Rest for making a good relationship, you both have to do many compromises. That's a separate story and leave it on time and god.

Girl who attracts you, understand your interest and complement you is good for you .

As per working and non working wife is concerned, I personally suggest working as working girls are more confident and independent. Also they try to raise child as independent. Though its personal choice and of course your family financial situation if you need a working or non working partner.

Hope I clear your queries but I will suggest you to not delay your marriage just talk to girls and try to match your interest

All the best...  

How to Get What You Want in Life

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Himanshu Gupta


I can answer question regarding the confusion they have in their professional life or personal life. I can answer general question and give general advice on what they should do in such situations. Give details of your problems in any area like family, love, romance, parents and I will try my best to provide you suggestions which if you like then you can try. I will not answer on specific career development area i.e. medical, engineering etc. because the norms may vary from country to country but I can surely help with suggestions of which area you should take depending on your passion.


I am doing voluntary counselling from past 10 years. I can solve situation based problems especially regarding personal life and situations. Please elaborate the conditions and each aspect which will help me in better understanding.

Organization of Pharmaceutical Unity with Bioallied Sciences (OPUBS)

I obtained my PhD and involved with non profit Education Organization and journals. I am more involved with scientific field with interest in dealing with human behavior and life situations.

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