How to Get What You Want in Life/Confusion about inlaw relationship
I am 31 yr old married since 6 years and with a kid.
my husband is a nice guy. I cant say he is perfect but nor bad also.
he takes care me and my kid ofcourse he is not so romantic at times.
but cares me a lot. helps me in kitchen. and we have good understanding with each other. to tell in a line, we both adjust to each other very well.
we do have ocassional arguments but we leave them there and dont drag.
thing is my husbands family. my Mother in law and brother in law family.
To be honest with my feelings, i dont like my Mother in law. initially i was not but as time progresses as i got to know much about her i dont like her.
i feel her raising of kids is not good as kids wont understand others feelings ...including my husband...
they r dominant and correct me in a dominant manner.
I dont like..it...
i can tell up front if my husband behaves rudely to me but i cant tell to his family.
I raised it to my husband to speak to his family but he refuses
he says they r from village and thats how they hv grown up.
i was raised with kind words and loving gestures.
though i am able to fight back with my husband on this am not able to do the same with them.
AS a indian Daughter in law...raising voice on in laws is not correct.
i get so tensed up when they come home as they comment everything right from my weight to my home maintainance.
it gets so irritated.
and my mother in law says am dark and her son is fair and got a bad deal.
she speaks this only infront of me not when my husband around
if i tell him , he says let her talk infront of me i will answer.which she never does.
always she compares me with my co-sister like how she cleans kitchen and how i clean...and many more....
i am really fed up with these people and i dont want to talk to them any more. but my husband loves his family and visits them regularly along with me.
At times, i feel like running away from all of themm....
I cant do it ...my daughter is my responsibility and also i dont want to leave him only because of this issue as a person he is nice...
Thank you for sharing your life. Hope my response will help you to have a different view to the situation.
I can understand that you dont like comments from your in-laws but Before that:
Do you want to ruin your relationship and your kid`s future for these occasional events?
Always remember, if two people want to walk together in same direction then one have to hold others left hand with his right hand..No two people can walk in same direction by holding both right or both left hands. Two people have to be different to walk together.
You present an example in front of your kids in how they will behave in future.
Read these points with open mind:
1. You was born and got your parents (You have not made your choice). They comment you, taunt you, compare you or be strict with you if they dont like what you have done or if there mood if off etc. Did you left them for that? Why?
2. When you want some one or your in-laws to accept you as there daughter then you should accept them as your parents.
3. When your husband supports you then you should focus on your kids, family and yourself. Nothing stay for ever. Not even the problems..
You will feel much better once you see towards your kids and family.... ignore, give them smile and do your work...
This is everywhere, people will comment and taunt you more if you react to it in arguments and anger...if you dont react then things will change..
This is not just one side, I even see cases where boy is doing everything (no contribution from Girl side) and then girl family taunt and comment boy and compare him with others... so its with everyone..and believe me no one like there in-laws..very rare...if you will find some better compatible in-laws..
On the lighter side as Indian I will suggest you to see this movie "Lage Raho Munna Bhai". This movie is good and show you some ways to handle...especially even if you dont like something then how to make other realize them there mistake and live happily...
Hope this helps... hope things will work out with you...