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Weddings/my son doesn't want a wedding

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Brandy wrote at 2008-02-18 22:35:17
I think it is way out of line to think that it is strange that neither wants a ceremony or reception.  I also think it is out of line that you are encouraging this person to force a party on a couple that has made it crystal clear that none of that is wanted. It sounds like this person, who claims"I feel compromise would be a good way to start this marriage" is more concerned about their own feelings than the couple's feelings. What else do they need to say or do to let you know that none of it is wanted? Throw a party for yourself if you want one that bad. And within the article "Their obligation is to show up", um, no it is not. Not if they didn't want it in the first place. Sounds like both of you are overbearing parents who need to turn around and find the line that you keep crossing and go back behind it.


NoWayWedding wrote at 2008-07-31 15:21:15
Chill.  They just want to BE married, not GET married.  That's actually a very healthy sign that they are more focused on the long term relationship than on one day.  And there are hundreds of couples out there just like them.

If you love them, leave them alone, and just accept them.


Em30 wrote at 2009-04-08 08:19:21
I think you should respect their wishes. I am a bride to be, and I feel pressured to have a wedding, and I am being guilt-tripped by everyone because there are one hundred more people to invite and we are already at our 100 limit. I never even wanted a wedding! I just want to marry my fiance. I think it is important how we live our life together- having a wedding is not important to me. It is only important to everyone else and all it is doing is causing me stress. Planning my wedding feels like torture, like something I have to do because of guilt. Please don't pressure them at all to celebrate or have a wedding. That would be the best gift you could give them.


Josie wrote at 2010-07-26 11:39:18
I know this question is old, but I just found it and thought I might add something to help anyone else that stumbles across it.

If your child is engaged and doesn't want a wedding, you DO NOT throw them a party and tell them they MUST show up.

By saying that they don't want a wedding they are indicating that they don't want to be the centre of attention, which also probably means that being insensitive enough to force them to turn up to a party your thrown so that YOU can celebrate THEIR union is horrible.

You haven't listened to them at all!

If they were interested in celebrating, they would organise something themselves, with guests of their choosing. This is not an occassion for you to show off, its about them and what they want.

Cleary a party is not something this couple would've wanted. It's unfortunate that there are people to blinded by their own need to be praised that they can't see how uncomfortable forcing something like this upon them would be.


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Alan Mckenzie

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All music and entertainment related questions for wedding ceremonies and receptions. Questions on timelines, unique reception ideas, hiring wedding entertainment, finding entertainment professionals and even other things like: How to(and why you should) make a seating chart (don't put the talkers near the dance floor!), The different TYPES of DJs/Bands and how you can find the right one for your event. We also offer a "Grooms Workshop" to help educate the newly engaged GROOM.

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Over 23 years experience as a Disc Jockey with the last 18 years as a wedding entertainment specialist. Experienced in planning, helping to coordinate and entertaining clients and guests in a professional, fun and elegent manner. In addition I have taught several seminars on interaction (as an entertainer), microphone skills, business plans, keeping yourself educated, digital DJ'ing and more.

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American Disc Jockey Assoc., Pacific Coast Disc Jockey Association (Past President & also a founding member), Southern Calif. Entertainers Assoc., ABC (Association of Bridal Consultants), Bridal Assoc. of America, Oxnard Chamber of Commerce.

Publications
Mobilebeat Magazine, Ventura Wedding Guide, Santa Barbara News Press (wedding suppliment article), Respond.com, Bridesandgrooms.com, Rainbowproductions.com, Foreverwed.com, Ultimatewedding.com, Bridalgoddess.com, Buyersclub.com (their wedding section), WeddingZone.com, WeddingPlanningHelp.com and of course on our website at: http://www.amazingsounds.com as well.

Education/Credentials
I teach seminars for other entertainers on subjects such as; Marketing, Advertising, Web Search Engine Optimization, How to help your clients even BEFORE they hire you, Pricing your services fairly, Knowing the REAL cost of doing business, Ethics for DJs (buying music, licensing, insurance, etc.). I have also attended (and continue to do so) numerous seminars specifically related to mobile dj's as well as workshops and seminars for coordinators, speakers, team building, presentations, voice skills and more.

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Past President of the Pacific Coast Disc Jockey Association, also past Vice President and a Founding Member. We also are the ONLY Entertainment company in Ventura and Santa Barbara counties that has passed the rigid qualifications to become a "Certified Wedding Professional".

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We keep our clients information confidential. However, if you need some, please specify how many and we will contact some of our clients to get permission to give you their contact information. We never just 'assume' that a client is a reference, we ASK them if they would like to be one and, if so, how they would like to be contacted (email, phone, text, etc.).

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