AboutBrenda Cascio Expertise As founder and CEO of GraciousBridal.com, I am pleased to offer suggestions for those puzzling situations such as wanting to give personal gifts to bridesmaids that have totally different interests, how to show appreciation to guests on a budget, what small things that can be done to make a huge impact for the ceremony and reception.
Experience At the helm of graciousbridal.com, I am up-to-date on the latest trends. Our products have been featured in the finest wedding and style magazines. I am essentially a consultant to consultants. Because many wedding consultants are a small operation, they don't have access to the vendors, markets and other consultants that we have. Therefore, we use our resources to find those elusive items. Having a party and want to re-create the garden at Tavern-On-The-Green? We provided the marbelized balloons. Are you wanting a garden party with lanterns strung through the trees? We have provided the lanterns with coordinating parasols and hand fans. Want to plan a wedding merging two cultures, I can help navigate you through the potentially sticky situations (now is not the time for a social faux-pas!) It is important to be aware of the various customs in different parts of the country too, and I am more than happy to assist brides, moms and consultants in this.
Education/Credentials Degree in Fine Arts and years of experience in design and marketing prior to becoming involved in the wedding industry.
Question It's my understanding that I should only invite those guests to the bridal shower who will be attending the wedding. I'm having a destination wedding in another state, does this rule still apply? If so, how do I include those friends and family who will be unable to attend the wedding?
Answer Thanks for the sticky question!! Actually, the rule of thumb is: If they are invited to (not necessarily attending) the wedding, they may be invited to the shower. Which has always made sense because it would be quite tacky to request a gift, but not their presence at the wedding. However, in light of the proliferation of destination weddings, there are many people that would want to wish the bride and groom well, but cannot travel. I am assuming that someone is hosting the shower for you (Shockingly, I have seen a bride host her own shower before); therefore she may have her finger on the pulse of the guest list. Perhaps you are all very close at work, and this is customary, or dear old aunts that just can’t travel. I had to go to my arsenal of information because, today, things are somewhat different. Consulting with three respected advisors about this sticky situation, I received the following three answers:
A. If a bride, for any reason, does not or cannot invite someone to the wedding, then they should not be invited to a shower. These friends and family members will probably send a wedding gift anyway.
B. I’m sure her co-workers and close relatives understand, and would want to participate in the celebration, so it would be acceptable to invite them, as long as it is customary in that social group to do so.
C. Here in New York, ALL of my friends have gone home, out-of-state, to get married. We host showers for each other, knowing that an invitation to the wedding is not forthcoming – she knows we will be unable to attend. I can’t imagine not having a shower for each other.
So, perhaps I have muddied the waters, or cleared the air for you. In any event, to be a gracious bride, I would consider the personalities of your two families, some are very strict about etiquette, and make your decision accordingly.
Brenda Cascio,
www.graciousbridal.com
