AboutShannon M Mason Expertise As an accredited Professional Bridal Consultant, I can answer questions involving all aspects of wedding and event planning. From budgets and organization to menus and timelines, each part of the planning process is just as important as the next. Whether you are looking for answers to traditional wedding questions or you want to venture outside the box, ask away! If we don’t have the answer we will find it for you!
Experience I am the owner of New Beginnings Wedding & Event Management and have been planning weddings and events for 13 years. I attend networking and training classes on a regular basis to keep abreast of the latest trends and fashions.
Organizations 21st Century Nuptials, Coordinators Corner, Jacksonville Bridal Association
Education/Credentials Professional Bridal Consultant - Association of Bridal Consultants
My fiance and I are planning a wedding is disney world for jan 2010. it is a lifelong dream of his to me married in disney, and we want to honor that. Unfortunately, disney weddings are very expensive. we were planning on having a small wedding to begin with (40 people) and found out that if we limit the number of people at the actual ceremony to 18 guest we save 10,000(very great as each of us have grad school debts to pay off and want to buy a house one day). the guests at the ceremony will be our parents, grandparents ,a best friend since high school apiece and our siblings.our problem is that of his 2 siblings (all are older than him) 2 are married and we would have his siblings in law at the ceremony. our reasoning is that it is a short ceremony, 15 minutes and they will be at the reception and because it is in disney they will not be bored during the ceremony. his mother is not understanding at all. she 1- says we "cant" have people at the reception if they are not at the ceremony (even though we tried to explain that it is done) 2- that the siblings in law are in his "immediate family" and he is "wrong" and 3- that since he was in their weddings, they must be at his. she has gone so far as to say she will not come to allow one of them. ironically, they have yet to comment on the sitatution but we think they will understand. how to we handle his mom and respect her position while trying to make her see our reasoning? are we wrong?
ANSWER: Megan & Kyle:
I am trying to understand all that you have presented here. Please correct me if I am wrong in my interpretation.
You are looking at having a small Disney ceremony and want to invite just very close friends and family. However, you want to leave out the in-laws of your married siblings.
If this is what I am understanding correctly, then unfortunately, you and Kyle are in the wrong. Your in-laws are part of the immediate family and should not be excluded.
I would go back and speak to your coordinator and let her know the situation. See if they can squeeze in 2 more people and include the spouses.
I hope this helps and if I have misunderstood, please send a follow-up so that I can answer any additional questions.
~Shannon
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: no, you're right. thats basically it, we cannot under any circumstances have any more people at the ceremony- its the rules of disney- its legal issue. so what are your suggestions- to have no siblings there at all if the 2 siblings in law can't be there? I thought it was okay to have people not be at the ceremony but be invited to the reception?
Answer You are correct that it is acceptable, though not encouraged to include people in your reception that are not invited to the ceremony. However, these are members of your family whose spouses will be attending the ceremony which is where etiquette states they should be invited to the ceremony as well.
If it is a matter that you simply cannot have any more people at the ceremony, then I would suggest only including those that are must haves. Obviously your parents, your witnesses and those that you cannot live without. However, if you plan to invite one sibling then you need to invite them all.
I know that this is a difficult decision and my suggestion is to sit down with the parties involved and explain it to them. Let them know that you don't want to exclude them from the party but you only have limited space at the ceremony. Perhaps you will get lucky and the in-laws will understand and work with you.
