AboutWendy Wuitschick Expertise As owner of Sorelle Weddings & Events in Southern California, I can answer any question you may have regarding your wedding. I have been involved in the wedding and event industry for over 13 years and have worked in many areas within the business. Whether you are planning a small intimate affair or a lavish Hollywood style event, I can assist you with anything you want to know.
Experience
Education/Credentials Experience is the best education. Over the past 13 years I have worked as a Catering Manager for a banquet facility, a Banquet Waitress and Office Manager for an offsite Caterer, a Party Rental Specialist, a Sales Manager for a Bridal Salon, an Event Coordinator for two LA based charities, and an Assistant Floral Arranger.
Awards and Honors I have received honors from the Make-A-Wish Foundation of Los Angeles for my assistance with their yearly fundraidser and from Heads Up Therapy for my run as President and my fundraising efforts.
I am certified by the International Institute of Weddings as well as a member of the Association of Bridal Consultants, the International Institute of Weddings, and a board memeber for the Los Angeles Chapter of National Association of Catering Executives.
Expert: Wendy Wuitschick Date: 6/30/2008 Subject: Groom's parents refuse to cut their guest list
Question Our daughter is getting married in October. It is our first wedding. The reception hall they booked holds 340 at round tables, which is what our daughter and we decided on. The guest list was as high as 500 at one point with 270 being the groom's parents. My husband told the groom to either find a bigger hall or to have his parents prioritize their list. They cut their list to 220 and instructed the groom to inform us the list was a dead issue and we were not allowed to talk to them about it. Because we are paying for the hall, we think we should be able to decide how the hall is set up, which ultimately will dictate how many quests it will seat. Because we do not want to invite more than 10% more than the hall will hold, we set our list at 375. We called the groom's parents and met them at the reception hall so they could see what we were talking about. We decided not to get our daughter and her fiancee involved. We thought we could reason with his parents. We told them based on etiquette they could invite 125 guests. Because they have a large family, we told them we cut our list to 95 and gave them our extra 30 so they can invite their family. We asked them to prioritize their list into "A" and "B" lists with 155 on the "A" list. We told them if more people declined than we anticipated we would invite the people from their "B" list first. Because they didn't acknowledge they would do this; we wrote a letter thanking them for meeting with us and restating our request. The first chance they got they invited our daughter over to their house and showed her the letter. The mother turned on the waterworks. Because our daughter is a "peace Keeper" and wants everyone to get along, they knew she would be upset with us; which she is. We came across as the bad guys. We think we are being more than fair. If the groom's parents do not cut their list; what are our options? Thank you.
Answer Hi Nancy:
I am so sorry the groom's parents are being such difficult people. However, you are in the right here and they need to respect the fact that you are paying for this wedding and therefore can dictate how many people you can reasonably afford to pay for.
That being said, the best way to handle informing them of this is to invite everyone over to dinner, including the bride and groom and tactfully, but firmly explain the situation. Let them know that you have a budget set that you cannot go over and while you understand that they have friends and family that are important to them that they wish to invite, you too have people that are important to you that you want there. Then tell them that if they want to invite more than you can afford to pay for, they will have to be responsible for paying for them. While they can argue if they really are that petty, expecting you to pay more than you can afford will make them look bad.
However, if this isn't about not having the money and simply just a case of you and the groom's parents not getting along, then you need to find out what the bride and groom want since this is their day and it should be about them. Many times parents lose sight of that fact and all it does is cause tension and hurt feelings. Since your daughter likes to be the peace keeper, make sure she conveys what she truly wants and not what she feels will make everyone happy.
I suggest doing this with everyone present so no one can say your daughter was coerced if you get my drift!
I hope this helps. Should you have any further questions, please feel free to contact me again.
