AboutWeddings Etc LLC Expertise Wedding traditions, fashions, ceremonies, wedding planning, coordination, customs, how to handle situations that arise, responsibilities, budget planning.
Experience I''ve been a wedding coordinator for 16 years. I authored a WEDDING PLANNING GUIDE, a Bride''s Workbook, that is available in local bridal shops. Tattered Cover Bookstores in Denver, CO as well as local Borders Books and through my website. I''ve worked with weddings from just 2 people to 350 guests and all budget ranges. I've also written and teach The Art of Wedding Coordination to those who want to become wedding coordinators.
I am getting married June 2010 and I feel like I am in the middle of a bridesmaid horror story. I didn't think that I would have to face this situation because I wasn't asking much from my bridesmaids and I am a generally relaxed and open minded bride. I honestly do not care what they wear as long as they somewhat match. Looking at a lot of pictures and talking to several people I think matching means the same colour and dress material. Syle can vary.
I put in a lot of effort taking each girl out individually and finding out what kinds of dresses suit them best. I spent a whole day with each girl and tried to understand their body type. The three girls have VARY different body types. One is 5'4", plus size (14+) and short waisted (Girl 1). One is taller I'm thinking 5'8", size around 12 with a full figured body type (Girl 2). The last is a size small/petite 4-8 size max, 5'4" and smaller chested in comparison to the other girls (Girl 3). I basically tried to choose styles that they told me they liked and such that it is easy to match. I liked the dessy group (dessy) as they have lots of dresses in the same colour and fabric type. I choose organdy material and went with purple (not really my choice) and told them to choose what they liked out of 17 dresses.
It is very hard to coordinate a date with these girls because of their schedules. Two girls work (which leaves out weekedays) and one goes to school and works most weekends. They also live in 3 very different parts on the city, one is North Brampton, one in Woodbride and one in downtown Toronto. I offered my time and money to be a cheuffeur to those with transportation issues.
What happened was I sent out a nicely worded email telling them of my choice of store, manufacturer and dress types and asked them to get measured. There are pictures online, however, they all called back to ask if they can try on the dress before ordering. I think this is fair so I scheduled a day for Girl 1 and 3 just to get measured. Girl 1 was open minded, however girl 3 was not. Girl 1 did not get to try on her dress that day and unfortunately girl 3 did not either as the store told me they had the dress in stock to see but did not. I think this is what started it all. Girl 3 went ahead and tried on many dresses (took about 1-2 hours trying them all on) and hated everything. Considering her body type I am certain it is not the fit she is worried about but the fashion and style. Girl 1 was VERY patient and just waited for her. Girl 3 insulted the store staff, took up my time and Girl 1's time and we ended leaving the store (even asking for a deposit back because of the chain of events) and went to another store. Store #2 had more fashionable dresses, however some of them were not appropriate for a wedding (WAY TOO TIGHT or too ornate (too many jewels, bubble bottom that would not fit the other 2 girls etc...). Girl 3 was stuck on all the inappropriate dresses, with few options left for the other 2 girls. I left that day eating a chocolate bar and drinking a little too much wine from the stress. Girl 1 did the same.
I don't know how much more patient I have to be. I think I have to call Girl 1 to apologize for ruining her day. I told my fiancee and he thought that I didn't have a backbone and I'm being way too nice. He said normally I choose one dress and they all wear it wether they like it or not. He understands how Girl 3 can be and never gets along with her. She will be my future family and I would like to start off with a good relationship with her. I would like to stick to my original plan and just tell Girl 3 what she will be wearing (no questions asked). Is this too harsh? I am not a bridezilla but I think she is forcing me to be one. Do you have other good website ideas (like the dessy group)for my girls (with lots of options for dress fabric and colour???). Do you think I am in the right with Girl 3?
Answer Hi Melissa,
I'm out of town doing a destination wedding, but will be back in my office tomorrow. I'll get you an answer tomorrow.
I just got home and apologize I wasn't able to get back to you sooner!
Check out this website for dresses chloeandreese.com.
What you need to do is go shopping by yourself, with your maid of honor or your wedding coordinator, if you have one, select the dress or dresses you want your girls to wear then just tell them you've made your decision. If they don't care for the dress, then you may be better off without them in your bridal party. The last thing you need is someone wanting to control what you want. This is your day and it sounds like you've going way beyond being patient.
The option is there to select the designer, color and length and let each bridesmaid select her own style. This also can look really nice. The gowns will fit each figure and still be the same color and fabric.
You may also need to give them a deadline as to when they have to be measured and the dresses ordered. This may get them on the ball as well.
No, you aren't being a bridezilla...you're just asking your friends to help make your wedding beautiful and to help fulfill your dream!
Stick to your guns. Hope this helps. Please let me know if I can be of any further assistance. You may find some additional information on my website that will be helpful. www.weddingsbytanya.com.
