AboutWeddings Etc LLC Expertise Wedding traditions, fashions, ceremonies, wedding planning, coordination, customs, how to handle situations that arise, responsibilities, budget planning.
Experience I''ve been a wedding coordinator for 16 years. I authored a WEDDING PLANNING GUIDE, a Bride''s Workbook, that is available in local bridal shops. Tattered Cover Bookstores in Denver, CO as well as local Borders Books and through my website. I''ve worked with weddings from just 2 people to 350 guests and all budget ranges. I've also written and teach The Art of Wedding Coordination to those who want to become wedding coordinators.
I'm hoping you can give me some advise on how to proceed with my wedding. I was planning a destination wedding to Jamaica. I got an amazing deal on a Sandals resort so I need to act fast. After consulting with my family it has been decided that they would go wherever we would want to go. okay thats great! So here's the problem.............. We spoke to my fiances parents. his mother is very traditional and I'm sure would prefer us to have a church wedding but understands that times have changed and people now do what they want to do rather then what they are expected to do. She said she was willing to go which made me the most excited girl on the planet!! The next day she calls and says that my fiances father is not willing to go. Says it's just not his type of thing and he's not budging. I've never been so upset in my life. If It as a money thing I would understand this..........but it's not, in fact they said they would rather give us the equivalent money that it would cost them to go for the reception or for something else. My fiance is honestly afraid to push them any harder to go. He thinks that they won't come no matter how special the day is to me. I've even offered to pay for them myself!! So I guess my question is do you have any advise on how to convince them to go? I even though about flying them down for one night if they just don't like the beach but my fiance thinks that's a bit unrealistic. I guess I'm just not the type of person that can just say too bad, if they don't want to go then they'll have to miss it. To me it seems like if the parents aren't there then it's not nearly as special. I need help!! I'm just soo hurt that they wouldn't' (not couldn't) do this for us.
Thanks for any input
Answer Hi Sarah,
Unfortunately, your fiance's father is making this about him and not about the two of you! I'd say go ahead with your plans and leave the choice to him whether he goes or not. It's a power play and if you bend now, it will continue whenever he doesn't get his way.
You might consider a compromise, that if he comes, you'll do a reception when you get back for family and friends who can't go to Jamaica and see if this would work.
Hopefully this will help. Don't beg! Stand your ground and enjoy your day with our without him!
