AboutAlan Mckenzie Expertise All music related questions for wedding ceremonies and receptions. Questions on timelines, unique reception ideas, hiring wedding entertainment, finding entertainment professionals.
Experience Over 23 years experience as a Disc Jockey with the last 15 years as a wedding entertainment specialist. Experienced in planning, helping to coordinate and entertaining clients and guests in a professional, fun and elegent manner.
In addition I have taught several seminars on interaction (as an entertainer), microphone skills, business plans, keeping yourself educated, digital DJ'ing and more.
Organizations American Disc Jockey Assoc., Pacific Coast Disc Jockey Association (Past President & also a founding member), Southern Calif. Entertainers Assoc., ABC (Association of Bridal Consultants), Bridal Assoc. of America, Oxnard Chamber of Commerce.
Education/Credentials I have attended several seminars specifically related to mobile dj's as well as workshops and seminars for coordinators, speakers, team building, presentations, voice skills and more.
Awards and Honors Past President of the Pacific Coast Disc Jockey Assoc.
Past/Present Clients We keep our clients information confidential. However, if you need some, please specify how many and we will contact some of our clients to get permission to give you their contact information.
Question QUESTION: Hi, I'm coordinating my sister's wedding in (1)next week and I'm starting to get the jitters. This is my first event and I don't want to be the cause of it not being perfect. Can you offer me any advise - big or small- on how to superceed in this position and make it pleasantly rememberable? The very large wedding party consists of (3) MOH, (14) BM, (2) jr brides, (2) jr bridesmaid, ring bearer etc ... What on earth have I agreed to do? When do the jr brides(maids) walk in? Do you have any suggestions for the bridesmaids walk since there are so many of them? Please respond asap, as we're only 8 days away. Appreciatively, Shai the new coordinator
ANSWER: Dear Shai,
WOW, have you got your work cut out for you!! When you say that you are "coordinating my sisters wedding" I certainly hope you are talking about the ENTIRE event and not just the ceremony... That's really the EASY part believe it or not.
The hard part comes with the coordination of the reception afterwards with all the after ceremony pictures during cocktails, getting everyone lined up and ready for the Grand Entrance, finding all the right people for the special dances (Mother/Son, Father/Daughter, First Dance, etc.) the Toast and don't forget about the cutting of the cake and those are just the few 'basic' events...
Anyway, for the CEREMONY itself, here are a few things to help answer your questions:
First of all, there's no question you will need to PRACTICE the ceremony at least 1 day before (not more than 2 or people forget).
The best way to practice is to get everyone lined up how they will look at the alter. This way you can arrange them by height, etc. if needed. The Jr. Bridesmaids are the farthest away from the bride, then the bridesmaids and finally the (3) MOH's - same goes for the guys, put the ring bearer at the END and then the Groomsmen and then Best Man/men If these are uneven numbers, it might look a little funny, but oh well. And you can always have 1 Groomsman/Best Man escort TWO ladies back down the aisle if needed.
Of course have the B&G in the middle and also have the parents and grandparents positioned where they will be seated.
Then practice the EXIT first! Yes, the EXIT first. As everyone exits(including parents), they should stop at the point they will be STARTING FROM and stay there all lined up for the START of the ceremony walk. Now you should have them all lined up. Practice the walk TO the alter - with such a large party you should use several songs for the different people or you will run out of time.
You need songs for:
Seating of the mothers and grandmothers - just one song will do, but DO NOT spread these folks out! They should be NO MORE THAN 20 seconds apart and less if they have a long walk - time it out and try to make sure all of them are seated within 3-4 minutes.
Then we have all those Bridesmaids and the MOH's... wow, 17 of them eh? Well for that you can go two ways... 1) A very long song (over 4 minutes) and then space them about 10 seconds apart (that gives about 3 minutes for seperation time and another minute for the final one to get up to the alter) OR 2) Have the song re-played over and over until they are all up there and space them out a little more (better for pictures if they are spaced about 20 seconds apart)
Next you need music for the Jr.BM's/Jr.Brides - With 4 of them, you can give them their own song also - follow same timing as for parents/grandparents.
Next comes the Flower Girls and Ring Bearers - either use the same song for them or pick a special one just for them. Remember, the Flower girl(s) are the LAST ones down the aisle before the bride and her father. - BUT, they along with the Jr.brides/Bridesmaids will all line up at the END of the row of girls - same with the ring bearer. Boy, I wish I could draw a picture here! :)
So, when they all finally get up there, it will be (from left to right as you are looking from audience area);
Flower Girl(s)
Jr.Brides/Bridesmaids
Bridesmaids
MOH's
then B&G with Officiant
Best Man/Men
Groomsmen/Ushers
Ring Bearer
IF the Ring Bearers and/or Flower Girls or such are very young and won't stand still up at the alter, you CAN have them sit down after doing their jobs.
Some tips for BM's and Escorts. When standing at the alter, HANDS should be placed LEFT HAND over the top of the RIGHT (showing wedding rings of those already married) this way they look better in photo's - ALSO, tell them to ALL to TURN AND FACE THE AISLE to watch all the others come down, when the bride arrives, everyone turns and faces the B&G. Oh, and tell them NOT to lock their knees while standing - don't want anyone to faint and trust me, I have seen it happen!
One last thing - Ring Bearer should NOT have the REAL rings if they are tied to a pillow (those are usually fake ones) - just have him give the pillow to the Best man who 'pretends' to take them and flips the pillow over and gives it back... OR, and even BETTER option if you can do it on short notice... Get a small wooden TREASURE CHEST (from a Michaels or other craft store) put in some of that foam that florists use (the green kind) inside and put the rings into that foam to hold them. Boys don't mind carrying a TREASURE CHEST instead of a pillow AND you can let them KEEP the chest as a gift afterwards!! Maybe even give them some chocolate 'coins' to put in after the ceremony (and pictures!!) are all done. They will like that!
Hope all this helps... Good luck!!
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: I didn't want to overdue it by asking about the reception but if you could help me with that part as well, I'd be eternally grateful. I just want this to be perfect for them. My wedding was a disaster due to a lack of coordination, communication, & knowledge, and I wouldn't wish that on any bride. For the reception, I think timing may be 1 of the most important things but what comes next? This isn't a career for me, she asked me to coordinate and I agreed. What was I thinking? What are some specials things that I can do for them that will really bless their day. Are the BM & MOHs the only ones who should give toast? Any advice you offer would be heaven sent. Thanks again. I really dont think you know how much you've helped me thus far.
Answer Shai,
This answer will be MUCH shorter... Well, a little anyway...
The MOST important thing for the reception (In my opinion) is the FUN!! Making sure that the guests are having a great time and that everyone will remember what a great time they had years later.
Ask yourself this:
Can you remember what FOOD you ate at a wedding you went to over a year ago? Probably not... But if I asked you "Was a FUN wedding?" or "Did you have a great time" (not just good) you would probably remember (good or bad)... Then I would ask "What made it good/bad?" That will give YOU some more answers...
Remember, each wedding should be a CUSTOM event! Some people like to go wild and crazy, others want to be formal and subdued, but EVERYONE wants it to be memorable!
Now unless you are serving Filet and Lobster, people will likely forget the food, but if they have a good(OR bad) time, they will remember it for a long time!
My suggestions are to make sure that EVERYONE has FUN! Talk with the entertainment (DJ/Band) - ask them what they can do to make things memorable WITHOUT having to be CHEEZY about it... If they don't know, then you have the wrong people and you will need to see about hiring a professional EMCEE who CAN make sure people have a great time - OR, if you are outgoing enough, do it yourself!!
Next, when it comes to the toast, the USUAL is for it to start with the Best Man (read below about coaching the toasters), then the MOH, then it's up to the B&G if they want others involved. Others could be the rest of the wedding party, the parents (brides goes first if so) and even opening it up for EVERYONE if you want, but that can take lots of time - figure at least 2 min for the BM & MOH to speak and 1 min for others as a base...
Coaching them: Tell them this IMMEDIATELY BEFORE THEY SPEAK, not any earlier or they will forget...
Get the BM & MOH - pull them aside and tell them to hold the microphone at chin height and out about 1 inch AND (VERY important) that when turning their head, MOVE THE MIC ALSO (otherwise when they turn their head, nobody will hear them)...
Also, have them PUT THEIR GLASS DOWN while speaking and then, at the very end, pick up the glass while saying to the audience something like "Now if you would all raise your glasses" (this should be done at the END, not the beginning - it's no fun to hold a glass in the air for 2-3 minutes!!)
LASTLY, tell them that should they feel a little emotional during their speech, or if they "GET CHOKED UP", it is because they are not breathing properly... All they need to do is stop, lower the microphone, take a DEEEEEEP breath, BLOW IT OUT and bring the mic back up and continue... It REALLY works!!
Some FUN things to do are:
Interactive dances (Cha,Cha, Slide is newer and more fun)
Contests about the B&G - if it's a buffet, get a list of 20 questions (or more) from the B&G and do a trivia to release tables - use questions only the B&G's parents can answer for the first two - like "What TIME was the Bride born?" "How old was the Groom when he got his first hair cut" - of course always point to the parents table first to get the answer and no matter what they say, it's correct!!
Also, save the CAKE for about an hour after dinner... Then do the CAKE, Bouquet Toss and Garter all in a row... this gives the caterers time to cut the cake up while you do the Bouquet and Garter toss... Don't wait too long or people will miss out on the cake, but don't do it early because many people leave right after the cutting of the cake.
Again, good luck to you!! And remember, HAVE FUN!!!
