Weddings/Maid-of Honor issues
so I asked my best friend in the world to be my MOH. She and I have known each other for a decade. She is the sister I never had...or at least, she used to be. I'm getting married in 33 days. I've been having major problems with her. Once it came down to really planning the wedding, I was never able to talk to her about it. She is never excited for me. She will even change the subject almost immediately after wedding talk starts. My Wedding, like I said, is now only 33 days away, and I'm getting down to the wire. Everything is DIY. My bridesmaids have been more than helpful, as a matter of fact, the one has done more than the MOH and she is away at school right now and only home on weekends. My MOH and I work together, she tells me everything. So I know when she has things to do and when she doesn't. But every time I ask for her help getting things done, or even need to vent to her, she ignores me. She has told me atleast 5 times that she would come over to help get things done, but she has cancelled every time. Usually I am not a person to sit by and let things go. I feel like she is letting our friendship go and she can't even be bothered to tell me to my face. I've been told recently to just let it go. ignore her, don't ask her for anymore help because it's clear she wont help at all. I've really just wanted to talk to her about it. But I know talking to her will lead to an arguement and that more than liekly she will no longer be in the wedding, either because I told her not to be or she will just quit. I'm not really sure what to do. I dont want to lose my best friend, but at the same time, I'm really sick of feeling like nothing important to me matters to her at all.
First, congratulations on your upcoming wedding! You are in countdown, pressure is mounting and there is too much to do and you don't know how you can do it all, especially since it is mostly DIY. That is, if you are a normal bride. The good news is, you ARE a normal bride, and everyone feels like this. It only looks effortless, but it's not. Even though your life has revolved around the wedding, it's a little bit of an eye-opener to realize that others aren't thinking about it 24-7. At first thought, it's hurtful that your MOH hasn't stepped up to the plate. Especially since you need her now, more than ever. But I ask that you just step back for a moment. You have been friends for over a decade and been there for each other. Maybe, just maybe, her life is looking pretty bleak (think Kristin Wiig in Bridesmaid's). Or maybe she is exhausted of "the wedding" and just needs a break. I recommend that you don't confront her about this now and can assure you that you will have a different perspective later. She is your maid of honor and if she just zoned out through all of the planning, then she will be justifiably embarrassed later, but at least you took the high road, and you won't have to be ashamed of how you behaved. Any confrontation now will be a stain on the whole event. Keep your feelings to yourself if you don't trust that an argument won't break out. Be thankful for your bridesmaids that are doing a lot for you. And keep in mind that the wedding party is not a job. It is an honor to stand by your side to witness this special occasion. An honor that costs a lot of money -- buying a dress, a shower gift, bachelorette party, perhaps hotel accomodations and wedding gifts. Taking time off of work. Perhaps hiring a baby-sitter. This will be the most important day in your life, so fervently protect yourself from any distractions or strife to keep the day happy and loving. Many blessings to you.