Weddings/Questions Answered by Expert Brenda Cascio
| Subject | Date Asked |
| post-wedding thank yous | 1/22/2012 |
| Q: My daughter was married in June, 2011. My husband's sisters hosted an elegant shower luncheon for ... A: Oh....how we wonder.....were they hiding under the bed when we were teaching them etiquette? Surely ... | |
| Color for Bridesmaid dress | 11/10/2011 |
| Q: Pleasant Good Morning! My wedding is in Spring 2012 with champagne/red/black color scheme. I am ... A: Sounds like a beautiful wedding. If you have only one bridesmaid and one maid of honor, you have a ... | |
| intimidating list | 11/1/2011 |
| Q: and the only step I have taken so far in planning the wedding is finding the venue. The owner of the ... A: Congratulations on your engagement and welcome to the task of planning your wedding. It does seem ... | |
| Destination Wedding/ invite protocol | 9/19/2011 |
| Q: I've recently gotten engaged and we have decided to have a disney destination wedding. Both of us ... A: I absolutely don't know where to start on this one. But here goes. Lets first talk about the ... | |
| Post Wedding Celebration | 9/2/2011 |
| Q: My daughter is having a wedding with about 300 people invited. Not small by any means, and not ... A: What a conundrum. I am also in the planning stages of hosting a wedding for my daughter -- same ... | |
| Last name on the invitation | 5/7/2011 |
| Q: My husband is in the military, we got married in a small civil ceremony so I could stay with him. I ... A: Tricky, tricky! But it is certainly do-able with a little finesse. It is not appropriate to put ... | |
| Does my dress match my flower choice? | 3/26/2011 |
| Q: I have attached a photo of my wedding dress. It is the one on the right with the back detailing and ... A: First, congratulations! And, the dress is gorgeous, not too modern, but classic with a contemporary ... | |
| Invitation Wording | 3/7/2011 |
| Q: I am trying to figure out to best way to word my wedding invitations. I have searched the internet ... A: Well, here you are, navigating the sticky situations of a wedding. You are wise to give it ... | |
| Seeing the groom before the wedding | 1/24/2011 |
| Q: My best friend is getting married at p.m.. Will she be "allowed" to see the groom before the ... A: There are no laws or rules, just traditions. Many brides still adhere to the tradition of not ... | |
| Tuxedos | 1/21/2011 |
| Q: My fiance and I are getting married in June of 2011 and are looking for a Burnt Orange Tuxedo. I ... A: If anyone had a burnt orange tuxedo, it would be here in Austin, TX. I've yet to see one, however, ... | |
| Wedding attire for my aunt | 11/13/2010 |
| Q: I am getting married in April at a beautiful church in Atlanta, GA, with a reception following in a ... A: Looks like the spam folder swallowed this question...thank you for your patience. Your wedding ... | |
| Proper Attire Military Wedding | 11/7/2010 |
| Q: I am attending a 4PM wedding in Charleston at The Citadel Nov. 13 - reception immediately following ... A: I found this question in my spam folder. I apologize. Regarding the attire at a military wedding, ... | |
| wedding gifts | 9/21/2010 |
| Q: I was married Sept 11. We had an open basket for envelopes at the very nice reception. My problem is ... A: This is a situation best left to "word-of-mouth" by the closest friends and family members. Mom ... | |
| Destination | 9/11/2010 |
| Q: I am interested in a destination wedding. Not too far, I live in NY and I would like it in Miami ... A: Many brides are finding that a destination wedding keeps the costs down considerably. For the bride ... | |
| What time to start the wedding ceremony? | 8/1/2010 |
| Q: I was thinking of having the ceremony at 4:30 in the afternoon followed by the reception. Is this ... A: My own wedding was at 2:30 in the afternoon. My daughter's recent wedding was at 6:30 in the ... | |
| Proper Gift Giving as a Guest | 6/16/2010 |
| Q: I was asked to accompany a gentlemen I have been recently seeing to his niece's wedding. I have only ... A: Since it is a recent relationship, your gentleman friend probably will not be adding your name to ... | |
| reception | 5/13/2010 |
| Q: Michael and I have chosen to have a small wedding (27 guests) and a reception about a month later. ... A: That is a confusing situation. There is no precedent, so you will have to make up the invite. ... | |
| bridal shower | 4/26/2010 |
| Q: My sister is hosting a bridal shower for her daughter at her house and wanted to invite 3 of her ... A: Obviously the bride is in the wrong, but that's not the only problem. Some brides tend to get quite ... | |
| Split family help | 3/21/2010 |
| Q: My husband father of the bride is willing to pay a large portion of his daughter's wedding. I have ... A: You sound like a very gracious step-mother (why don't they write about those more often?). Weddings ... | |
| Grandma who wants to help | 2/26/2010 |
| Q: I'm getting married next year and i'm so lucky that so many of my family member want to help out, ... A: I think it's wonderful that she wants to help. Yes, just guide her into the preferred favors. ... | |
| step mother | 2/11/2010 |
| Q: Help, I'm the stepmother of the groom. How do i fit into this wedding? What should I wear? I have ... A: Things go along so smoothly, then a wedding comes, and whoops - a bump in the road. It can bring ... | |
| Reception Only Etiquette | 1/20/2010 |
| Q: Brenda, I am getting married in a few months and am having a small wedding. We are planning on ... A: I can see why you are stumped! I have played around with the wording of this for a couple of days. ... | |
| wording the invitation for deceased father | 12/29/2009 |
| Q: My husband passed away 3 and a half years ago. My son is getting married and I know the "correct" ... A: Parental designations on wedding invitations are handled in one of three ways for the groom. 1. ... | |
| Reception-only Invitation | 10/31/2009 |
| Q: My fiance and I are having a small wedding ceremony (10-15 min with 15 people) immediately preceding ... A: We were recently invited to a reception following my cousin's private wedding ceremony. We knew ... | |
| wedding invitations | 10/29/2009 |
| Q: what is the time frame to send out invitations for a wedding i have been told 2 months is this ... A: Two months in advance is customary. This allows guests to make travel plans, and any necessary ... | |
| Evening wedding itinerary | 10/23/2009 |
| Q: I'm having an evening wedding with hor d'oeuvre reception, but I'm having trouble figuring out the ... A: Weddings can make even the simplest things confusing, so just stop and take a deep breath. Aaahh. ... | |
| mother of bride dress | 10/1/2009 |
| Q: I am 50 years of age and always thought that the mother of the bride should pick out her dress and ... A: No things have not changed, and yes, this is poor manners and disrespectful. Your daughter should ... | |
| define please | 9/16/2009 |
| Q: can you tell me the difference between maid of honor and matron of honor A: Maid indicates a maiden, unmarried woman. Matron indicates a married woman. It is not necessary to ... | |
| "Save the Date" cards for reception following our destination wedding? | 8/18/2009 |
| Q: and... HELP! My fiancee will be married next March in Mexico, in a private ceremony with our ... A: Save the Dates can be short and sweet, no need to give all the details. And get used to someone ... | |
| Reception | 8/17/2009 |
| Q: The invitations for the wedding have been mailed and I just noticed that the words "reception ... A: Absolutely! Most people will assume it is at the same venue, especially if it is known that the ... | |
| Reception | 8/15/2009 |
| Q: The invitations for the wedding have been mailed and I just noticed that the words "reception ... A: Most response cards don't include "reception following", that is either on the invitation or a ... | |
| Sinamey hat | 7/31/2009 |
| Q: Can I wear a dressy Sinamey hat to an outdoor wedding starting at 6:00 pm? A: Hats are very appropriate for outdoor weddings, and so festive too!. Sinamay is a summery material, ... | |
| Thanking | 7/23/2009 |
| Q: My Mom doesn't work and my stepdad, whom I never lived with is paying half (total is $20,000) for my ... A: The answer is both. Of course you will want to thank him in a note where you can be more personal ... | |
| Renewal of vows | 6/24/2009 |
| Q: My Husband and I got married last year at City Hall. Now we're having a "wedding" this year because ... A: I can't say it any better than Sharon Naylor, so I am going to link to her answer which takes into ... | |
| immediate children at wedding | 6/9/2009 |
| Q: My brother is getting married in August at a park and then having the reception in the backyard of ... A: I didn't see your further question, sorry about it taking so long. Some situations are just sad, ... | |
| immediate children at wedding | 6/9/2009 |
| Q: My brother is getting married in August at a park and then having the reception in the backyard of ... A: Strange as it may seem, brides don't always take their future sister-in-laws requests. It is her ... | |
| My Son's Stepmother | 6/2/2009 |
| Q: My son and his fiancee' are making their rehearsal dinner plans with my son's stepmother, as his dad ... A: It would be so nice if we could just give pat answers and that was that. This situation is not one ... | |
| guest book | 4/25/2009 |
| Q: Where should the guest book be located. Bride's Mom & Aunt say it should start at the church and ... A: Either is appropriate. If it is a large wedding, it is nice to have the guest book at the church so ... | |
| wedding attire | 4/20/2009 |
| Q: I have been invited to a 2:00 Catholic wedding and the 6:00 reception. Can I wear the same dress to ... A: It is totally appropriate to wear the same dress to both events. However, if the reception is ... | |
| Wedding Planning Contract | 4/1/2009 |
| Q: you certainly sound like a wonderfully experienced person, and this is why I have chosen you for my ... A: I would definitely have an attorney draw up the proper contract, and if you google "online attorney ... | |
| presents to the bride & groom | 3/30/2009 |
| Q: What should my boss send as a wedding present to her daughter and her about-to-be husband? This is ... A: That varies from region to region, and pocketbook to pocketbook. "not too much money" is quite ... | |
| MY WEDDING | 3/21/2009 |
| Q: I KNOW THAT THE MAID OF HONOR HAS ALOT OF TASKS TO HELP THE BRIDE BUT WHAT EXACTLY IS THE MATRON OF ... A: The Maid of Honor and the Matron of Honor have the same tasks. The only difference is that "maid" ... | |
| Wedding Invitation | 1/29/2009 |
| Q: I am having a small wedding of 140 people. We have decided to invite very close family and friends ... A: As many people are choosing to have more intimate weddings, we have seen an increase in the number ... | |
| wedding expenditure | 1/12/2009 |
| Q: What is the reasonable amount/percentage of the combined income of two people planning to wed that ... A: Calvin, honey, that is the million dollar question! Or the $30,000 question, or the $15,000 ... | |
| Invitation wording | 1/6/2009 |
| Q: My fiance and myself are getting married in May of this year. She is divorced and does not want to ... A: The proper etiquette is to use the legal name. Did your fiance have her name legally changed back? ... | |
| colour coordination | 12/19/2008 |
| Q: I was thinking of having peach and lime green as my colors but don't know if they look good ... A: Sounds lovely. Peach and lime Green are traditionally spring or summer colors -- you could stretch ... | |
| Shower after the wedding when most guests would be at wedding | 12/8/2008 |
| Q: My niece was supposed to get married in August 2009, but she's in the military and is being deployed ... A: Well, I am big on breaking tradition if there is no reason for it. But a wedding shower is ... | |
| recently engaged, thank yous | 11/13/2008 |
| Q: I am receiving "congratulations on your engagement" cards from my fiance's family, but no gifts. Do ... A: No, it is not necessary to send a thank you card for a congratulatory card. When you see them, it ... | |
| who to invite? | 10/20/2008 |
| Q: I have a problem. I have a very large extended family and community of people that I constantly ... A: Yes, this is a minefield (I know that you don't want to hear that!), but you can handle it as ... | |
| seating at the church | 10/13/2008 |
| Q: My step daughter is getting married in a church. I understand her mother is in the first pew and ... A: The stepbrother is usually seated in the pew with his parent (whether that is the bride's stepmother ... | |
| wedding guest attire | 10/10/2008 |
| Q: I have two weddings this month. One at 5:00 (church with country club reception in Myrtle Beach) ... A: Must have been a hiccup in the system, I answered this on the 9th & just received notification that ... | |
| attire | 9/30/2008 |
| Q: I have a wedding to go to early October and I don't know what to wear. It doesn't state on invite if ... A: Those are always difficult situations, especially since a California ranch can be quite upscale. ... | |
| Christmas ornaments | 9/23/2008 |
| Q: I am getting married December 6 and would like to include a card in my invitation envelope that asks ... A: Unfortunately, the wedding invitation is not the place to ask for a gift - as cute as the idea of ... | |
| wedding gift | 9/22/2008 |
| Q: I knew a couple yrs. ago that received a glass goblet that was used (I think) to drink from if they ... A: OOps! clicked the wrong button. (I'm evacuated still from Hurricane Ike, so a little out of sorts ... | |
| Step moms and step grand parents | 9/4/2008 |
| Q: We just found out my daughter is getting married in March. I have a couple of questions concerning ... A: First, congratulations on your daughter's upcoming wedding. You will be quite busy for the next ... | |
| post destination wedding celebration | 7/27/2008 |
| Q: My son is planning a destination wedding in Italy with approximately 20 guests in attendance. We ... A: Of course you are confused! The proclivity today of having destination weddings has thrown ... | |
| wedding | 7/22/2008 |
| Q: I am Methodist and having a traditional wedding ceremony with the exception that my 2 kids are being ... A: I, too, had a 2:30 wedding. Though it is easier to secure the church at that time, it lends itself ... | |
| Divorced Families | 7/17/2008 |
| Q: I am marrying a guy who's parents are divorced and do not exactly get along. I am having issues as ... A: It would certainly be a nice gesture to have the stepmother who raised him light the candle. Should ... | |
| Divorced Families | 7/13/2008 |
| Q: I am marrying a guy who's parents are divorced and do not exactly get along. I am having issues as ... A: Have you considered having just the mothers light the unity candle? Though you may have wanted your ... | |
| Etiquette on Clarifying No Children | 6/30/2008 |
| Q: I am getting married at the end of August and have decided to not invite any children aside from my ... A: This is a common concern. Again, it falls under the word-of-mouth situation. There really are no ... | |
| Too many people coming | 5/23/2008 |
| Q: We did not realize until it was too late that we sent out more invitations than the wedding location ... A: Since un-inviting guests is not an option, there are two choices, find another venue that can handle ... | |
| 2nd time and we're both different | 5/19/2008 |
| Q: ... I'm (originally) from the city and he's a redneck. He wants "city hall and & 6 Pack" and I ... A: Regarding: Should I say "no gifts"... or just not say anything". An invitation NEVER includes the ... | |
| Post-Wedding Gift Etiquette | 5/7/2008 |
| Q: I have a couple of questions about wedding gifts and thank-you notes. The first is how long should ... A: Sounds like you are right on top of everything! I'm not one of those people that wait for the ... | |
| no children at wedding | 5/1/2008 |
| Q: My granddaughter is having a formal wedding and does not want any children there. Her fiance has a ... A: Whew! This is one of those sticky situations. Let's work off of the assumption that the bride ... | |
| invitation wording | 4/18/2008 |
| Q: I am stuck on how to word our invitation. My dad is paying for the entire wedding, but I want to ... A: The wording would be as follows: Mr. John Anthony Smith and Mrs. Carol Jackson request the pleasure ... | |
| for the minister, photogs, caterers | 4/10/2008 |
| Q: My mom is hosting my ceremony at a relatives home. We are of course on a very strict budget. She ... A: Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. Sounds like you are taking care of all the details! ... | |
| Flower Girl not invited to rehearsal/reception | 3/4/2008 |
| Q: My SIL has asked that my 6 year old daughter be the flower girl in her upcoming wedding. However, ... A: Tonia, Well that makes it easy! Just talk to the bride as a sister-in-law. "I understand your ... | |
| Flower Girl not invited to rehearsal/reception | 3/4/2008 |
| Q: My SIL has asked that my 6 year old daughter be the flower girl in her upcoming wedding. However, ... A: Hmmmm, I can't think of any event that can potentially strain family relationships more than ... | |
| seating father and step-mother | 3/3/2008 |
| Q: when do you seat the bride's father and step mother when the father is not the one giving the bride ... A: First the easy question! The groom's grandmother is the first in the processional escorted by an ... | |
| Want to back out | 2/21/2008 |
| Q: My 4 yr old has been asked to be a flower girl. For personal reasons I do not want to go to the ... A: A 9(+) hour drive or two pricey plane tickets certainly puts a different spin on things! It is an ... | |
| Want to back out | 2/21/2008 |
| Q: My 4 yr old has been asked to be a flower girl. For personal reasons I do not want to go to the ... A: I wish I could answer that, but there is not enough information here to give a proper answer. How ... | |
| Bridal Shower | 2/17/2008 |
| Q: It's my understanding that I should only invite those guests to the bridal shower who will be ... A: ! Actually, the rule of thumb is: If they are invited to (not necessarily attending) the wedding, ... | |
| are save the date invitations necessary? | 2/14/2008 |
| Q: My daughter is getting married in August here in our hometown. My friends are telling me that I ... A: You're right, I'm receiving a lot of save the dates myself these days. They are certainly a good ... | |
| Time between ceremony and reception | 2/13/2008 |
| Q: My daughter is planning her ceremony for 2:00 pm and the reception for 6:00 pm - is this too much ... A: There is no right or wrong answer, but there certainly is a convenience issue. There are several ... | |
Weddings
Answers by Expert:
Brenda Cascio
Top Expert on this page
Expertise
As founder and CEO of GraciousBridal.com, I am pleased to offer suggestions for those puzzling situations such as wanting to give personal gifts to bridesmaids that have totally different interests, how to show appreciation to guests on a budget, what small things that can be done to make a huge impact for the ceremony and reception.
Experience
At the helm of graciousbridal.com, I am up-to-date on the latest trends. Our products have been featured in the finest wedding and style magazines. I am essentially a consultant to consultants. Because many wedding consultants are a small operation, they don't have access to the vendors, markets and other consultants that we have. Therefore, we use our resources to find those elusive items. Having a party and want to re-create the garden at Tavern-On-The-Green? We provided the marbelized balloons. Are you wanting a garden party with lanterns strung through the trees? We have provided the lanterns with coordinating parasols and hand fans. Want to plan a wedding merging two cultures, I can help navigate you through the potentially sticky situations (now is not the time for a social faux-pas!) It is important to be aware of the various customs in different parts of the country too, and I am more than happy to assist brides, moms and consultants in this.
Education/Credentials
Degree in Fine Arts and years of experience in design and marketing prior to becoming involved in the wedding industry.
©2012 About.com, a part of The New York Times Company. All rights reserved.