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About Sonia Pressman Fuentes
Expertise
I am an author, public speaker, feminist leader and lawyer. I was the first woman attorney in the Office of the General Counsel at the EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunity Commission) and a founder of WEAL (Women`s Equity Action League) and FEW (Federally Employed Women). I am an expert in the field of women`s rights to be free of employment discrimination based on sex.
Experience
I spent eight years as an attorney with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) and worked for one year as a volunteer attorney with the Montgomery County, MD, Human Relations Commission. I have lectured all over the world and the U.S. on women's rights to be free of employment discrimination based on sex and had articles on the subject published in newspapers, magazines, and journals and on the Internet. I also spent 11 years with multinational corporations in the field of EEO and labor law.
Organizations
I belong to NOW and the Veteran Feminists of America nationally and the Brandeis University National Women's Committee in Sarasota, FL. I am a member of the board of Americans United for the Separation of Church and State in Sarasota, FL.
Publications
See my Web site at http://www.erraticimpact.com/fuentes for articles written by me, information on my memoir, "Eat First--You Don't Know What They'll Give You, The Adventures of an Immigrant Family and Their Feminist Daughter," and interviews of me.
Education/Credentials
I have an LLB from the University of Miami School of Law in Florida.
Awards and Honors
I received a superior performance award at the EEOC and was inducted into the Maryland Women's Hall of Fame, among other awards and honors.
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You are here: Experts > News/Issues > Women's Issues > Women`s Issues > This is confusing
Expert: Sonia Pressman Fuentes
Date: 5/9/2008
Subject: This is confusing
Question
I am confused about something, and I wondered if you could share your thoughts. I have always disliked the fact that the bible instructs women to obey their husbands. I got into a discussion on an on-line forum about this, and explained that I believed that the bible was promoting a slave/master relationship between husband and wife, and I could not believe in a god that did not believe women were equal. Here was the response I got:
I originally HATED the thought of submission, but it was because I didn't fully understand or have knowledge of what the Bible said. I now see that the ideal relationship from God's viewpoint is one that reflects his image. Men have some qualities that are like God, and women have others; together, in a good PARTNERSHIP, we can reflect those qualities and help show God's love. Another said:
Yes, the Bible does say that women are to submit to their husbands. I did not deny that. Please do not flatter yourself in thinking that you know more than I.
But the Bible also commands men to "love their wives the way Christ loved the church" and to "care for their wives as they would care for themselves". If it calls men superior, it does not mean superior in value, only in authority over the home. Men are to be the head of the house, but that does not mean that they are to use their authority to mistreat their wives. On the contrary, they are to spoil their wives.
That is kind of confusing. She said I am misinterpreting what it meant, but it seems pretty clear to me. Even if a man DOES in fact treat his wife with respect and kindness, that is still not equality right? I mean, would it be okay to own slaves if the slaveowner was kind to his slaves? THanks. Please help me understand this, cause I am confused.
Liv
Answer
Dear Liv:
I may not be the best person to answer this question. I am a secular Jew. I do not know whether or not there is a God, but I do know the bible was written by men and represents the thoughts of its authors and the societies they were living in at the time they wrote the various sections of the bible. I would certainly never base my life in the 21st century on what these men wrote thousands of years earlier.
I do not believe one person, regardless of gender, race, or religion, should "submit" (whatever that means) to another person. I believe men and women are equal and are entitled to equally develop their potential to the fullest. There is no reason members of one sex should be the head of the household.
I see nothing confusing about this. It only becomes confusing if you try to square today's ideas about equality with the ideas of men reflecting their cultures thousands of years ago when equality between sexes, races, religions, and ethnic groups was not the norm.
Best regards,
Sonia
Sonia Pressman Fuentes
website: http://www.erraticimpact.com/fuentes
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