AboutSonia Pressman Fuentes Expertise I am an author, public speaker, feminist leader and lawyer. I was the first woman attorney in the Office of the General Counsel at the EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunity Commission) and a founder of WEAL (Women`s Equity Action League) and FEW (Federally Employed Women). I am an expert in the field of women`s rights to be free of employment discrimination based on sex.
Experience I spent eight years as an attorney with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) and worked for one year as a volunteer attorney with the Montgomery County, MD, Human Relations Commission. I have lectured all over the world and the U.S. on women's rights to be free of employment discrimination based on sex and had articles on the subject published in newspapers, magazines, and journals and on the Internet. I also spent 11 years with multinational corporations in the field of EEO and labor law.
Organizations I belong to NOW and the Veteran Feminists of America nationally and the Brandeis University National Women's Committee in Sarasota, FL. I am a member of the board of Americans United for the Separation of Church and State in Sarasota, FL.
Publications See my Web site at http://www.erraticimpact.com/fuentes for articles written by me, information on my memoir, "Eat First--You Don't Know What They'll Give You, The Adventures of an Immigrant Family and Their Feminist Daughter," and interviews of me.
Education/Credentials I have an LLB from the University of Miami School of Law in Florida.
Awards and Honors I received a superior performance award at the EEOC and was inducted into the Maryland Women's Hall of Fame, among other awards and honors.
Question Hi. My question is how would you respond to the argument that equality is a myth because no two people are equal? I got into a debate about feminism the other day, and that was the argument they made. This person is a colleague of mine whom I personally happen to think is a sexist pig! He made his wife give up her career when she married him, expects dinner on the table when he gets home etc His wife isn't even allowed to go out without asking him first! He says that we all have to answer to someone, and compared his relationship with his wife to our relationship with an employer. He said we may be equal to our employer, but we still have to do what he tells us to do, otherwise we lose our job. And that doesn't mean we are inferior. I was just thinking about that it, and it bugged me that I didn't come up with a witty response. I mean, that's true! But that's different isn't it? He says he's not sexist, but to me it's a lot like saying "Im not racist but".... I don't think that blacks and whites should mix, and I don't think black and white children should attend the same schools etc. If you aren't racist, then why does race matter at all? Thanks.
Valerie
Answer Dear Valerie:
My first suggestion is that it's fine to briefly let this guy know you don't agree with him, briefly state your position--and then drop it and leave his presence or go on to other topics. You yourself realize he is sexist and racist. This is his worldview and is an essential part of his personality. People hold the beliefs they hold for strong psychological reasons--and they only give up such beliefs, by and large, when a professional therapist or other trained person can replace those core beliefs with another infrastructure of different core beliefs. You are not going to change this bigot's mind no matter what you say. These people don't change their core beliefs because you present them with rational arguments. There are people who deny the Holocaust happened (including the president of Iran and others), there are people who don't believe in evolution when the facts on both these situations are established beyond any rational refutation. So you're certainly not going to change his mind.
As far as the argument about equality, no two snowflakes are the same, no two people are the same whether they're the same sex or different sexes. What thinking people mean when they say men and women are equal is that while they are, of course, not equal in the sense that they don't look alike and have other different reproductive organs, and individual men and women are, of course, different. One person may have artistic talent, one may have literary abilities, one may be physically stronger than the other. But their differences pale in comparison to their similarities. Every person-- white or Black, Jewish or Christian, 23 or 65, male or female--is a human being and is, therefore, entitled to equality of opportunity without regard to race, color, religion, national origin, or gender. They are entitled to be given the same opportunity to be interviewed and considered for all jobs, to be promoted equally, to have equal access to educational institutions, to be treated equally with regard to access to places of public accommodation, to be given equal medication treatment, and so on. They can be denied a job or a promotion if individually they do not meet the qualifications but they cannot be denied equal opportunity because of they belong to a certain gender, race, religion, or ethnic group. That's the law in this country.
We used to have slavery in this country and women used to be second-class citizens. We are now, however, in the 21st century and such treatment is no longer legally defensible.
