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About Sonia Pressman Fuentes
Expertise
I am an author, public speaker, feminist leader and lawyer. I was the first woman attorney in the Office of the General Counsel at the EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunity Commission) and a founder of WEAL (Women`s Equity Action League) and FEW (Federally Employed Women). I am an expert in the field of women`s rights to be free of employment discrimination based on sex.

Experience
I spent eight years as an attorney with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) and worked for one year as a volunteer attorney with the Montgomery County, MD, Human Relations Commission. I have lectured all over the world and the U.S. on women's rights to be free of employment discrimination based on sex and had articles on the subject published in newspapers, magazines, and journals and on the Internet. I also spent 11 years with multinational corporations in the field of EEO and labor law.

Organizations
I belong to NOW and the Veteran Feminists of America nationally and the Brandeis University National Women's Committee in Sarasota, FL. I am a member of the board of Americans United for the Separation of Church and State in Sarasota, FL.

Publications
See my Web site at http://www.erraticimpact.com/fuentes for articles written by me, information on my memoir, "Eat First--You Don't Know What They'll Give You, The Adventures of an Immigrant Family and Their Feminist Daughter," and interviews of me.

Education/Credentials
I have an LLB from the University of Miami School of Law in Florida.

Awards and Honors
I received a superior performance award at the EEOC and was inducted into the Maryland Women's Hall of Fame, among other awards and honors.

You are here: Experts > News/Issues > Women's Issues > Women`s Issues > Is this rape?

Women`s Issues - Is this rape?

Expert: Sonia Pressman Fuentes - 10/31/2009

Question
Hi. I am writing because something happened to me the other day that really upset me, and I was wondering if I am overreacting. A friend and I were discussing an article about a man who sexually assaulted a woman and was given a year. The prosecutor was only asking for six months, but the judge decided to go a bit "harder" on him! I thought it was an inadequate sentence. The story was very graphic and really upset me. The man used his fingers to penetrate the woman vaginally and anally, and caused her to bleed. She sustained internal injuries! He also smacked her behind and fondled her breasts. He was her landlord, in a position of trust which makes it worse! And my friend made one comment in particular that REALLY upset me. Please excuse the language. She said "he didn't F--k her". She argued that because penetration didn't happen it wasn't really rape, and therefore the punishment was sufficient. I had something similar happen to me when I was a teenager. He didn't actually have intercourse with me, but I still felt violated. And it was still very scary and degrading. He had all of this power over me, and he didn't care how much I begged or pleaded with him to stop. He didn't care how much it hurt. And to have someone say that just trivializes what I went through. She also wondered out loud whether or not the woman had a tendency to dress "provocatively". Comments like this make it hard for women who have been raped/abused to heal, because it makes us blame ourselves. Do you think I am overreacting? And do you think this is the same as rape, or should be? Or is it not as bad? Thank you. No one else knows about this and I prefer to keep it that way. I did talk to a counselor once before but to be honest didn't find her very helpful. What's done is done. And she can't do anything to change that. I still hate him and always will. And I think I'm entitled to those feelings, and to be honest don't want to let that go. My hatred and anger protect me from having to feel vulnerable.

Answer
Dear MJ:

I am not familiar with Canadian law on rape.

In the US, the following articles deal with the legal questions of what is rape and what is sexual assault.

The definition of rape legally varies from state to state. The following is a write-up from The Free Dictionary online:

The Free Dictionary

A criminal offense defined in most states as forcible sexual relations with a person against that person's will.

Rape is the commission of unlawful sexual intercourse or unlawful sexual intrusion. Rape laws in the United States have been revised over the years, and they vary from state to state.

Historically, rape was defined as unlawful sexual intercourse with a woman against her will. The essential elements of the crime were sexual penetration, force, and lack of consent. Women who were raped were expected to have physically resisted to the utmost of their powers or their assailant would not be convicted of rape. Additionally, a husband could have sex with his wife against her will without being charged with rape. Beginning in the 1970s, state legislatures and courts expanded and redefined the crime of rape to reflect modern notions of equality and legal propriety.

As of the early 2000s, all states define rape without reference to the sex of the victim and the perpetrator. Though the overwhelming majority of rape victims are women, a woman may be convicted of raping a man, a man may be convicted of raping a man, and a woman may be convicted of raping another woman. Furthermore, a spouse may be convicted of rape if the perpetrator forces the other spouse to have nonconsensual sex. Many states do not punish the rape of a spouse as severely as the rape of a non-spouse.

Many states also have redefined lack of consent. Before the 1970s, many courts viewed the element of force from the standpoint of the victim. A man would not be convicted of rape of a competent woman unless she had demonstrated some physical resistance. In the absence of physical resistance, courts usually held that the sexual act was consensual. In the early 2000s in many states, the prosecution can prove lack of consent by presenting evidence that the victim objected verbally to the sexual penetration or sexual intrusion.

Lack of consent is a necessary element in every rape. But this qualifier does not mean that a person may make sexual contact with a minor or incapacitated person who actually consented. Lack of consent may result from either forcible compulsion by the perpetrator or an incapacity to consent on the part of the victim. Persons who are physically or mentally helpless or who are under a certain age in relation to the perpetrator are deemed legally incapable of consenting to sex.

Most states choose to label the crime of rape as sexual assault. Sexual assault is divided into degrees: first-, second-, third-, and fourth-degree sexual assault. West Virginia provides an illustration of how rape laws are typically written. In West Virginia, a person is guilty of sexual assault in the first degree when that person engages in sexual intercourse or sexual intrusion with another person and either inflicts serious bodily injury upon anyone or employs a deadly weapon in the commission of the act (W. Va. Code § 61-8B-3 [1996]). Additionally, a person age 14 years or older who engages in sexual intercourse or sexual intrusion with another person who is 11 years old or less is guilty of first-degree sexual assault. A person convicted of the crime of first-degree sexual assault in West Virginia faces imprisonment for at least 15 years and not more than 35 years and may be fined from $1,000 to $10,000.

In West Virginia, a person commits sexual assault in the second degree by engaging in sexual intercourse or sexual intrusion with another person without that person's consent, and the lack of consent results from forcible compulsion. Forcible compulsion is (1) physical force that overcomes such earnest resistance as might reasonably be expected under the circumstances; (2) threat or intimidation, either express or implied, placing the victim or another person in fear of death, bodily injury, or Kidnapping; or (3) fear by a person under 16 years of age caused by intimidation by another person who is at least four years older than the victim.

Another way to commit second-degree sexual assault in West Virginia is to engage in sexual intercourse or sexual intrusion with someone who is physically helpless. The punishment for second-degree sexual assault is imprisonment for at least ten years but not more than 25 years and may include a fine of from $1,000 to $10,000.

That brings us to the legal definition of sexual assault. Here's one online write-up about it from Rutgers University in New Jersey at http://sexualassault.rutgers.edu/definition.htm:

Sexual assault, often referred to as rape, is legally defined differently in each state. In New Jersey, the law defines sexual assault as "the penetration, no matter how slight, in which physical force or coercion is used or in which the victim is physically or mentally incapacitated". Penetration is defined as "vaginal intercourse, cunnilingus, fellatio or anal intercourse between persons or the insertion of a hand, finger or other object into the anus or vagina by either the actor or upon the actor's instruction" (NJSA 2C:14-1).

The law in New Jersey, which is gender neutral, does not specify male or female, but uses the words "actor" and "victim" to describe the persons involved.

Consent: According to New Jersey law, age, physical impairment and mental impairment all contribute to a person's ability to give consent. A person must be 16 years of age to legally consent to sexual activity. A person cannot give consent to sexual activity with someone who has "the duty to care" for them unless they are over the age of 18. Individuals that fall into "the duty to care" category would include parents or guardians, and those in any type of formal supervisory role. If individuals are between the ages of 13 and 15 they can legally consent to sexual activity with a partner who is not more than 4 years older.

An individual who is physically or mentally impaired generally cannot give consent to sexual activity. Physical or mental impairment includes: visual, speech or hearing impaired, a person with a cognitive impairment; a person who is unconscious or sleeping; or a person who is involuntarily under the influence of alcohol or other substance(s). (R. D. Laurino, Personal communication, February 19, 2003)

Criminal sexual contact is legally defined as "intentional, non-consensual touching by the victim or actor, either directly or through clothing, of a victim's or actor's sexual organs, genital area, anal area, inner thigh, groin, buttock or breast, for the purpose of degrading or humiliating the victim or sexually arousing or sexually gratifying the actor," (NJSA 2C:14-3).

Sexual Harassment is not included in the legal definition of sexual assault, but sexual assault can be a part of sexual harassment. Within employment or school settings, sexual harassment is a form of sex discrimination that is prohibited by Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964 under the Federal law. Title VII defines sexual harassment as "unwelcome" sexual conduct that is a term or condition of employment (29 C.F.R. 1604. 11a). For more information about this type of sexual harassment, contact the Office of Employment Equity at http://uhr.rutgers.edu/equity.

Peer sexual harassment occurs in a variety of forms that may include sexual assault or criminal sexual contact. Other forms of this type of harassment include sexual comments, noises or gestures that threaten, scare, or make the victim uncomfortable. The behavior of the perpetrator would determine what crime was committed.

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I do not think you are overreacting to the statements made trivializing these matters; the type of sexual assaults you describe could certainly constitute rape depending on the law in the area where the acts took place.

I am, however, concerned as to the hatred and anger you carry around with you due to its harmful effects on you. In the US, we have rape crisis centers where victims of rape can get or be referred to counseling. I would think there are similar places in Canada, but I do not know. I would suggest you consider going to such a place or getting therapy elsewhere to learn to deal with those feelings so they do not mar your life.

Best regards,

Sonia

Sonia Pressman Fuentes
website: http://www.erraticimpact.com/fuentes

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