Women`s Issues/misogyny?


I honestly was not sure where to place this question. I a hopeful that I've made the right choice.

My name's Alex, I'm a young man, and I'm afraid that I either am or perhaps I'm becoming a misogynist.

The only girls I've ever gotten along with are my mother, my grandmas, and two friends that I had.

Now I grew up in an impoverished area, and well I don't wake up and think "Oh darn those women I hate them." It's not like that at all. Every girl I've ever had a problem with has been loud, obnoxious, tempermental, easily angered. While the women mentioned above who I have gotten along with, all of them are caring, understanding, and friendly.

I really do mean tempermental as well. One of the two girls I was friend's with was very headstrong, very stubborn but also fair. I admired that. The one's I don't get along with are more of the flip out and start cussing over something minor variety. It's not that I've never met any guy I've hated. It's I've met roughly two guys I've wanted to strangle, and off the top of my head about 9 different girls I just hate. One of them I don't even know, but she made this comic in which a character I like got gangraped so in my mind I've already decided that just for writing that she must be evil.

Now this is where it scares me. I can't say exactly when it happened. At some point though I realized that while I am a pacifist, I honestly abhor violence. If I ever was pushed hard enough I realized that I wouldn't care if the person I ended up phsyically lashing out at was a woman or not. I will be clear that I do come from a family of it's a huge no-no for a boy to ever strike a girl.

I don't know if I'm a misogynist, or if I've just met a lot of tempermental and agressive people who happen to be girls. I know I don't want to be. And the thought that I may be turning into one is scaring me.

Can you help? I am pleased to take any advice.

Dear Alex:

I am an expert in women's rights and women's history.  Your question does not pertain to either of those.  You are describing a matter dealing with your personal feelings.  It appears that you need professional help, such as that of a therapist, social worker, psychologist, or psychiatrist.

I suggest you look for one in your area.  A good way to start is to try to find a nearby Jewish Family & Children's Services office.  They help people of all religions and races. If one is not near you, try to find another organization that could steer you to an appropriate person or agency.


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Sonia Pressman Fuentes


I am an author, public speaker, feminist leader and lawyer. I was the first woman attorney in the Office of the General Counsel at the EEOC (Equal Employment Opportunity Commission) and a founder of WEAL (Women`s Equity Action League) and FEW (Federally Employed Women). I am an expert in the field of women`s rights to be free of employment discrimination based on sex.


I spent eight years as an attorney with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) and worked for one year as a volunteer attorney with the Montgomery County, MD, Human Relations Commission. I have lectured all over the world and the U.S. on women's rights to be free of employment discrimination based on sex and had articles on the subject published in newspapers, magazines, and journals and on the Internet. I also spent 11 years with multinational corporations in the field of EEO and labor law.

I belong to NOW and the Veteran Feminists of America nationally and the Brandeis University National Women's Committee in Sarasota, FL. I am a member of the board of Americans United for the Separation of Church and State in Sarasota, FL.

See my Web site at http://www.erraticimpact.com/fuentes for articles written by me, information on my memoir, "Eat First--You Don't Know What They'll Give You, The Adventures of an Immigrant Family and Their Feminist Daughter," and interviews of me.

I have an LLB from the University of Miami School of Law in Florida.

Awards and Honors
I received a superior performance award at the EEOC and was inducted into the Maryland Women's Hall of Fame, among other awards and honors.

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