Expert: Vani - 10/27/2009

Question
Hello,

 My husband and I have been married for a little over a year now, and we've been fighting since we left the honeymoon.
  For starters, we had to leave our honeymoon early because I had gotten kidney stones, and also has a serious injury which needless to say, spoiled our all expenses paid trip. Due to my injury I lost my job, had to get a few steroid injections for the pain, and am still undergoing physical therapy.
  To try an make a long story short, since we got home, it has been the marriage from hell! we're always fighting about everything, and no matter how calm I am, or how long we both try to explain things clearly to each other, there always seems to be miscommunication some how, and it's driving me crazy!!
  We started going to counseling, but now it's just me going and not him. He says he's not sure if he even wants to go anymore, but he's only been there twice! He has started gaining a lot of weight and he's not taking very good care of himself. I'm worried for his health, but his weight has put a HUGE strain on our sex life, which is making our relationship even worse!
  I don't know what to do for us anymore. I've been thinking about moving out and just staying with my mom for a while until he snaps out of his funk. What do you think I should do?


Answer
Hi Brittany,

He wanted the honeymoon to be picture perfect but it wasn't, he is incapable of handling any setbacks in life. Just because one incident went awry, he can't ruin his life and yours. Move to your mother's place for a few days and try taking up a part time assignment if your health permits. Before you do that, write a note to him in detail describing that you really want it to work and are not parting ways, bare your heart.

Best of luck,

Vani