How to Work Out Arguments With a Loved One/Parent Problem


My bf and I have been dating for the past 4 years. We both thought it was time to tell our parents. His parents have been really supportive of the whole thing. My mother on the other hand is finding it hard to deal with. I know there is no issue on which she can say that I have made a bad choice since my bf is very well educated and earns very well. According to her the problem is that his family isn't financially well off i.e. they do not have money which can be inherited. They live in a rented apartment while we own 2 flats. But income wise his dad and my dad have the same earning. Their family just likes to spend on things while we on the other hand have been saving it. She says she would want me to get married in a family where they have some amount of money to be inherited by the family. I really don't think this is a reason for me to break up with someone or not consider him suitable for the future. Please tell me how to convince my mother about the following situation. Other than this there has been nothing wrong which she has been able to find in my bf. Please help since his mom has been really supportive even though we aren't of the same caste. My mom on the other hand does not have any issue with the language and caste. The family money is the only issue she has but I don't understand why is it of so much importance to her. I don't know how to convince her regarding this issue and I haven't mentioned this to my bf since he was previously hurt by her making a comment on them not even owning their own house. I plan to get married to him. I have tried convincing my mom regarding this issue but its all been in vain. She now tells me not to become too serious about my bf incase things have to end which I know I would never want. Please help.

Hi Lovita,

You have no other way to convince her but sit with a paper and pen and do some math!! Show her at what rate if he were to decide can he buy a property. Am not sure if you earn or not, but if you do then add that to the income. Try to tell her that if required he would buy property and that cannot be the criterion for you to reject him. Also act stubborn that you won't marry anybody if you are not allowed to marry him. This way she will get an idea that you are serious but would still seek her permission like an ideal daughter.



How to Work Out Arguments With a Loved One

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts




Can handle all questions pertaining to arguments/difference of opinion among friends, spouses, family, colleagues. The crux is to understand the causality and personality of the people involved in such a complex situation.


Being the eldest child in the family and also one of the eldest in the immediate family, I am a very popular person. About 15 years of work experience has also made me an expert on how to juggle with family and work life in a more balanced manner.

I am an expert on Indian Culture and Inlaw Relationship at

Masters in Business Administration

©2017 All rights reserved.